The cool breeze felt like heaven. It kissed at her naked body sending waves of relaxed contentment through her. When Kayla opened her eyes, she was surprised to find that the desert was gone. Instead she found herself laying in their bed from the house in the in the open air of the park. She should have been self-consciously trying to cover herself up in public, but somehow she wasn’t. She sat up and wanted nothing more than to feel the sun on her face. When her feet hit the grass she relished the feel of it as she walked the few steps to the park bench. She didn’t call for Steve or look for her children; she knew they weren’t there, because she knew she was dreaming.
Which is why she let out a startled yelp when someone squeezed her shoulder from behind.
“Hey baby.” Steve’s eye sparkled with mischief when she whirled around.
“Steve! You’re here?”
“I’m always here.”
Kayla smiled. “Yes you are,” she said. “And you’re you again.” She reached out her hand to touch his 2009 face and felt contentment at her fingertips. “Am I me again, too?”
“You’re always you.”
“I mean, am I old me again?”
“Shh.” Steve held out his arms to his wife, and she walked into his embrace, feeling his naked body on her skin. It was warm and comforting and made her feel safe. There wasn’t a single thing that felt as good as Steve’s body next to hers, and she melted into him.
“I know I’m dreaming, but you feel so real.”
Steve ran his hand down her back and let it settle on her behind. She felt his soft kisses like feathery touches on her neck.
“Make love to me. I want you to make love to me.”
Steve lifted her into his arms and carried her back to their bed. “You’re not well enough for that yet, Sweetness, and you shouldn’t be out of bed. But I’m with you. You know I’m here taking care of you.”
“I feel fine now, look at me, I’m fine, I’m back in my own body. Please make love to me, I need to be with you.”
“Kayla, I am with you,” he said as he laid her in the bed and leaned her up against him. “But you’re still sick.”
“But I feel better.”
“Better and well are two different things.”
Kayla was confused and disappointed. “I don’t feel sick anymore”
Steve looked at her with a gentle smile. “You are. I’m taking care of you.”
Kayla decided that this was her dream and she didn’t want to take no for an answer. “I love you, Steve. I want you to feel how much.” She moved over to straddle him on her knees and felt his familiar hardness between her legs.
“Kayla, don’t you want to do this with the real thing?”
Kayla felt rejection radiate from the pit of her stomach as the sky above them darkened.
“You don’t want me?” she asked in a small voice.
“There’s nothing I want more than you. But you don’t have to do this to feel me, to keep me with you.”
“I’m afraid,” she said. I’m afraid of what’s happening and that you’re going to disappear or—or—that I am, that we’re never going to see our family again.” Then she laid herself down on top of him resting her head in his neck. “I’m scared of what’s happening to us.”
“You should be,” said a new voice from behind them.
Kayla quickly darted under the covers just to realize that she was suddenly wearing her white nightgown again.
“Don’t bother hiding yourself, I can see everything, anyway.”
“You—you can?”
“Yeah, but don’t worry about it.”
Kayla looked around, and as she’d feared, Steve wasn’t there. “Steve! Where are you?!”
“He’s gone,” said the disembodied voice. “So go ahead, what do you want to ask me?”
“Ask you? Who are you?”
“I’m Al.”
“Al.”
“Yep. What can I do for you?”
“I don’t know,” she said with frustration, “you’re the one who just showed up!”
“No, you conjured me.”
“I ‘conjured’ you?”
“Yep, sure did.”
“What you’re a … a … figment of my imagination?”
“I guess so. Your husband mentioned me.”
“He did? Right … he did. That show. That one about setting things right? I don’t know that show.”
“It doesn’t matter. So, c’mon, let’s talk. What do you want to know?”
Kayla threw herself out of the bed and paced. “I want to know what’s happening to us!” she yelled. “I want to know why we’re leaping through time! I want to know where my kids are! And …,” she said more softly, “and who that baby was …”
“That it?”
“Yeah, for a start,” she said matter-of-factly as she ran a hand through her short blonde hair.
“Well, I think you know who she was.”
“No I—I don’t,” she insisted without much conviction. “Do, ah … do I?”
“Yeah. You do.”
“But she was taken away. The others, too”
Kayla let out another yelp as Steve, once again, startled her with a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey baby,” he said.
“Oh great, what is this, we’re going to do this again, now?” Steve looked at her blankly. “If you’re not going to be real, then go, I’m tired of this!”
“Kayla.”
“I want to wake up! This isn’t real, and I want the real Steve, I want my Steve, any real Steve. I want my children! I want to go home!”
“Ah, my two lovebirds. Star-crossed, such as you are destined to be, eh?”
Kayla’s skin crawled at the sound of the voice coming out of the man now standing in front of her and Steve. She hated that voice, and grabbed Steve’s arm, the fact that she was dreaming not diminishing her fear-laced hatred.
“S-S-Stefano.”
“Of course. I am offended, Kayla, that you even have to ask.
Kayla fell to her knees and started to rock. Steve kneeled down behind her resting his hands on her shoulders. “It’s ok, baby,” he said.
“Oh, but it’s not,” Stefano said in his faint Italian accent. “I’m not going to be satisfied until I ruin every Brady that lives. Kayla, you still live, so I am not done yet.”
“You already took my husband for 16 years! What more can you do to us!” she screamed.
“He was a good soldier for a while, but eventually I had to sell him.”
“Noooo,” Kayla moaned as she held her palms to her forehead. “Not real, he’s not real.”
“But I am, my dear. And you have children, no? They’re Bradys. Ah yes, I do believe I have plans for them.” Stefano’s laugh was pure evil.
Kayla stopped rocking and looked up at him with eyes that were as dark as the menacing clouds overhead. “I’ll kill you first,” she seethed. “Once and for all, I will kill you. For taking my husband, for tormenting us when you took Joe, for killing –“ tears spilled from her eyes – “for killing Benji!” She launched herself at Stefano and started hitting him, pounding at his face, kicking him. And all he could do was laugh at her feeble attempts.
Eight relatively quiet hours after he fell asleep, Steve awoke to a hard kick in the groin. When he opened his eyes, he groaned and instinctively tucked his knees up into his chest. “Kaylaaaa,” he groaned, “Uhhh.” Then he fielded a punch that would have landed right in his ribs if he hadn’t rolled away; instead it connected with the strong muscles in his back. “You’re dreaming, Kayla … ugh, Jeez …” his balls were screaming. Not in a good way. The next kick landed on his ass. That’s enough of this, now.
Steve straightened out painfully, willing the throbbing in his balls to wane and grabbed his wife’s wrists in both of his hands. He then rolled on top of her to safely nullify her kicking legs as she twisted beneath him. He was frustrated, hopping mad, and he wanted her to stop. His anger ebbed, however, when he felt how cool she was to the touch now. “Baby,” he said as she continued to fight him, “I think your fever broke.” He put his cheek to her forehead and smiled. “Kayla, baby. Thank God.”
Kayla was crying and flailing, her hoarse voice not quite letting her say the words he could see her trying to form. “Kayla!” he yelled. “Kayla wake up!” Steve took her chin in his hand and shook. “Wake up now!”
When Kayla’s eyes snapped open, he saw that they were clear and alert.
“S-Steve?” She reached her hand up to touch his scar. “It’s you?” she croaked.
“Yeah, Sweetness,” he relaxed some, “it’s me.”
“Young you,” she said glancing around. “We’re not home yet.”
“No,” he sighed, “we’re still at Gabrielle’s. You were having a hell of a dream there. But your fever,” he smiled gently, “your fever broke.”
Kayla was disoriented but her mind was clearing quickly. “I’m still sick,” she said.
“You sure as hell are, baby, giving me the scare of my life.” He rolled over on his back and pulled Kayla against him. She tucked her knee up and grazed Steve’s groin, making him recoil. She lifted her head and looked at him quizzically. “It’s ok, baby, ya just kind of … got me in your sleep.”
“Got you?—Oh…,” she realized. “Oh, Steve, I’m – I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”
“Well, baby, it didn’t tickle,” he said sitting up to get a good look at her. “Whoever you were fighting I think you won.” His quip had the opposite effect he intended and immediately felt bad at the look of remorse on her face. “Oh, don’t worry about it, Sweetness, I think he’ll be ok. I’ll even let you kiss it and make it better as soon as you’re well again,” he smiled. He glanced at the time and said “You need water. Are you hungry, baby? Can you eat something for me?”
Kayla did feel a little better, but she was still exhausted. “I’m so tired. Dizzy. But thirsty.”
“You slept more than a week last time, Kayla. This is only Day 5. Last time on Day 5 you were still sleeping. This is different.”
“Different how?”
“Nightmares, getting dehydrated.” He didn’t want to scare her so he didn’t elaborate.
“Did I dream a lot last time? I don’t remember having dreams then.”
“No, not like this. Kayla, it’s been real bad, I thought I was gonna lose you for a minute there.” I don’t believe you’re talkin’ to me like this finally,” he stroked her cheek and smiled. “This is the first time you’ve seemed to improve at all.” She looked at him with love in her eyes as she heard the emotion in his voice. “I—I—,” he took a deep breath, “Kayla … I’m so happy to see you, Sweetness.”
“Me, too,” she said. “My dreams … they’ve been – awful.”
“Tell me.”
“’They were like chaos. Our kids. All of them, Pocket and Benji, too.” Steve’s eye flickered. “They’re taken away. You … took them away.”
“Me? Baby I’d never do that, you know that.”
“I know, it’s just a dream, I think it was more of a – a symbol. Trying to tell me something. It felt real, though. It felt so real.”
“Yeah, sure did,” Steve laughed as he pulled her to him, the pain in his groin having faded to a dull ache.
“And there was another baby, too.”
“Whose?”
“I … I think she was ours. Not Stephanie or Joe. Another one. I think I saw our baby, Steve.”
Steve froze. “What are you talking about? We have two kids”
“And Pocket and Benji.”
The mention Benji’s name cut Steve to the core and he fought hard with the muscle in his jaw.
“And now the baby girl with the green eyes and light curly hair. It was reddish, like a strawberry blonde,” Kayla said with a kind of reverence as she layed in his arms. “And she looked at me with your eyes. She was ours, Steve,” she said as tears stung her eyes. “I … I don’t really remember it all, but I remember her, and I remember how she looked at me, and how you looked holding her. You loved her so much.”
“Kayla—“
“I think she’s the baby we were meant to have if you hadn’t been taken away from us.” With every passing moment, Kayla was sure that the dream she had was showing her something real. Something that was supposed to have been real.
Steve, however, was not taking this well. All Steve ever wanted for them was to live in that big house and fill it with kids. Lots of kids. Three, four, whatever got thrown at them. He wanted a house full of them. He wanted to be a father to children he made with Kayla, raise them with love, play Patchy Claus with them every Christmas, and watch them each grow up calling him Papa. To hear about the baby she thought they were supposed to have but were cheated out of put him in a dark and depressing place. He rolled away from her and got out of bed.
“Steve?”
“No more, Kayla,” he said darkly.
“But—“
“I said no more!” he roared. “I don’t wanna hear any more of this! We have two kids, Kayla, two. We almost had two more, one was taken away and one was killed by his own piss-ass excuse for a father! Now I can’t listen to any more of this! You had a dream. Terrible nightmares. I know how you’ve been suffering, ‘cause I’ve been living them with you for five days!” He saw the look of hurt on his wife’s face but shoved past it, unable to deal with the loss that was spreading through him like a cancer. Because the truth was that he believed every word she said. “Now I’m going to make you something to eat, ok? You gonna be alright here?” He didn’t wait for her to answer, he left the room quickly and headed for the kitchen.
Kayla couldn’t help the tears that streamed down her face. She’d laid too much on him. His nerves were shot having to deal with her in the state of delirium that she knew she must have been in for five solid days (I can’t believe we’ve been here for five whole days), and now she goes and tells him that there’s a child they never got to have? She felt so selfish as she wept into her pillow.
Steve leaned against the counter gripping it hard as he tried to deal with this. But when heard the sobs he couldn’t stay put. He ran back to her, gathered her up in his arms, and cried with her. “I’m sorry, Sweetness,” he cried, “I didn’t take any of that well.”
Kayla was dizzy and would have fallen back to sleep if she wasn’t so distraught. “No, I … I’m the one … who’s sorry,” she said. “I laid all that on you after so much stress. I’m … I’m …” she couldn’t get the words out.
“I feel cheated, Kayla! We’ve been cheated out of our family. Our home. I have so much hate inside me for the people who have come between us!” He hissed. “I feel the hate. It eats me up, baby. I don’t know what to do with it.” He still had her in a fierce embrace, and Kayla rubbed her palm up and down his back.
“Forgive … me,” she cried with him.
My God. How could she have loved me so much, he wondered. I make her cry … our whole lives I push her away and give her to men that rape her and lie to her, and she’s asking me to forgive her.
“Kayla, I’d die without you. There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. There’s nothing to forgive, baby. Nothing. I’m the one that needs forgiving.” He took a deep breath and held her away from him. “Tell me more about your dream. About – the baby you dreamed about.”
But Kayla had grown tired, the sobs taking all the strength she’d gained for the time being. “Have to sleep,” she said.
“No, Kayla, you need to eat, honey, please.”
“O—Ok. Ok.”
“I know what would make you feel better, how ‘bout a shower, huh? Or a bath? Let’s give it a try.”
Steve spent the next hour keeping Kayla awake, getting her in the bath, washing her hair, and getting her into one of his clean shirts and pair of boxer shorts. It was hard for her to focus, and she dozed lightly a couple times before she found herself back in bed, her damp hair loose about her face.
“Look what I’ve got here, Sweetness,” he said with a smile, “more soup. Your favorite, chicken noodle. Joey gave us plenty to eat, but the soup is starting to run low.”
“Joey?” The mention of her son’s name awakened her a bit.
“No, Sweetness, not ours. The bartender at Shenanigans.”
“Oh.” Then it dawned on her. “Wait … did he come here?”
“No, I had to go there. I’ve already left here twice,” he said. Kayla looked at him with shock in her eyes. “You don’t know how hard it was, Sweetness. But I had to get you the antidote and get us fed, and I couldn’t take you with me. There was no other choice, I had to take the risk. So far so good.” Kayla nodded in understanding and took the soup that Steve offered.
“Feeling like you’re gonna keep that down?” he asked.
Kayla really did feel a little better. The light didn’t hurt her eyes, and though she was still dizzy, she wasn’t really nauseous. “I think I might,” she said. Then she spied Jack’s wedding ring on the table. She looked immediately at her left hand and saw her own ring back where it belonged. She looked at him questioningly.
“I married you again while you were sleeping,” he smiled. “I hope you don’t mind I couldn’t wait any more. Said your ‘I do’ for you.”
Kayla smiled. “I’m glad you did.”
Steve fed her some more soup, and she laughed as she looked at her hand again. “How many times now, four?”
“As many damn times as it takes, baby, that’s how many. You’re stuck with me.” Kayla smiled. “In good times and in bad, Sweetness. Like now, this is a really bad time. So, tell me about our … daughter.”
“No, it’s—“
“Tell me about the baby, Kayla.”
Kayla took his hand, and for the first time since jumping into this poisoned body, she felt well enough to continue talking. She told him as much as she could remember about her nightmares. About the desert and how their four children would come and go, and about the agony of having them taken as soon as they arrived. She told him again about the green-eyed baby, and this time Steve didn’t run away.
“I know she’s not real, Steve, but I felt her. And I was pregnant, too.” Steve looked up, and his eyes went wide. “I don’t know with who, but you kissed my belly and rubbed it with so much love. It was beautiful. I felt so much love. And then you’d all disappear again. Over and over again. And I was empty inside.”
“I’m sorry, Sweetness.” He couldn’t help the sense of loss that wrapped its dampening sadness around his heart. Even so, Steve was elated when she finished the whole bowl of soup and an entire glass of water as she told him about the dreams. “You know what, baby, you’re looking a little tired.” And she was still terribly pale, too. “I think it’s time to go back to sleep. Unless you’re feeling like throwing up?”
Kayla’s half-mast lids were about to betray her, but her stomach was behaving. “No,” she mumbled.
“Ok, good, here take your meds.” She took the pill from Steve’s palm, herself, and swallowed it down. “Sweetness, that’s an improvement! I think you’ve really turned a corner here.”
Kayla was fading fast.
“I love you, Kayla. Just rest up, I love you. Thank you for not leaving me.” “I could never leave you,” Kayla said as she signed “I love you” back to him. Then she closed her eyes and fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.