Find Me – Chapter 123

“Mind if I come in?”

Stephanie gave her father a toothy smile that hadn’t been straightened out by the braces that had gone on and come off before he’d get to meet her.  She was fresh out of the shower in a new set of PJ’s and was waiting patiently for him to tuck her in as he’d promised.  “No, come in!  That took forever!”

“I wanted to make sure you were all done first.  You sure do look cozy in those flannel jammies, Little Sweetness.”

“My room is drafty.”

Steve sat down on the edge of her bed.  “Yeah, well I’m a good tucker-inner, so you’ll stay nice and warm till morning.”  Stephanie positively beamed at him.  “But first, you and I need to have a little talk.  ‘Cause that pinky of yours is a big, fat liar.”  Stephanie’s face fell, and she shifted her dark, brown eyes down to her lap where the cat now known as Kitty was softly purring.

“Are you mad?”

Steve tipped her chin back up.  “No, baby.  But from now on you have to be more careful and just keep this very important secret.”

“I couldn’t help it!  It was Mrs. Lopez’s fault, she’d already seen you, and then we heard you up there, and I could tell Mom was gonna go up there, and I just figured they were gonna find out anyway, and it came out.”

“I know, baby, that’s why I’m not mad.  Look at me, you believe me?”  Stephanie nodded, slight relief evident on her face.  “But tomorrow you go back out into the real world and not the one here within these four walls where your landlady doesn’t know a live dude when she sees one.  You gotta keep this promise we made,” he reinforced the urgency by holding out his pinky to her.  “Until your mom and I say it’s ok to tell people, you have to pretend I’m not here.  That I’m still dead.”

“Ok, I will.  Really, I will.  But, Papa, why can’t you just tell me why?”

“Because, baby.”

“Because why?”

Kayla was standing outside the door.  She was still in her black robe with the lacy, white collar.  It had seen better days by this point, but it was like an extension of her own skin, comfortable, even if it had lost all of its warmth, and she hadn’t bothered to take it back off when Sam had left.  She wore it through the very surrealistic dinner Steve had prepared for them and that they then ate as a family for the first time – ever – and then they talked until 8pm when Steve disappeared back into the kitchen to clean up from dinner, and Kayla began her daughter’s bedtime routine.  She kissed her goodnight so that Steve could go in and do the same, and now she listened out of their view as he parented her like he’d been doing it for all of her ten years and not just her first eight months. 

Steve sighed as he rubbed Stephanie’s dark hair between his thumb and forefinger.  She was like a miniature of the 19-year-old young woman he’d left back at home in 2009.  Having these lost years back was a gift from God during this curse from Rolf.  “Ya know what, Little Sweetness?  You’re a real grown up girl.  You do things no other ten-year-old I’ve ever met does.”

“Well, how many ten-year-olds have you met?”

Steve laughed.  “Touche’, not many.  But, hell, not even a lot of 20 and 30 and 40-year-olds, too, and I know a lot of them.”  Now Stephanie beamed.  “I have to remind myself that you’re not actually a grown-up.  So you’re gonna have to just do what me and your mom say, because we’re your parents.  I’m only on Day 2, I know.  But I’m still your papa, and I need you to believe me when I say that the reason we can’t tell anyone right now … is just because.”

The curiosity was killing her, but there was something in her father’s face that told her that the answer would be worse than the question.  That it would be the worst kind of scary.  Worse than ghosts. Worse than monsters.  That it would be what she was afraid of from the moment she’d found him and that his work (which she was pretty sure was not exactly work) would come and take him back.  So, she backed off and accepted that the reason was just because.  This time when she hooked her pinky with Steve’s she became a vault that only two people had the key to.  Because she was not losing her father again.

Steve tucked the sheets and purple comforter around her, kissed her forehead, and told her he’d see her in the morning before her mother drove her to school.  It was the most amazing feeling.  She was being put to bed by her real live father. 

“Goodnight, Papa.”

“Goodnight, Little Sweetness.  I love you.”

“I love you, too.”  Kayla melted. 

Stephanie was so happy she thought for sure she was never going to fall asleep.  As it happened, the excitement of the day was so intense that the moment her head hit the pillow it was like a respite she had no idea she needed.  She was out in moments.

Then, very quietly, Steve took his wife upstairs to the loft and began a conversation that was going to be no easier now than it would have been if they’d had it earlier in the day.  Or tomorrow.  Or next week.  Or at any point that she was still the other Kayla.

“You’re really good with her,” Kayla said.

“So are you.”

It was the first thing they’d said to each other since Steve had exited his daughter’s room.  They were walking on eggshells in these moments and kind of didn’t know what to say to each other just yet.  “You raised a beautiful girl.  Inside and out.”

“She’s just like you, ya know.”  Steve grinned, because even he could see that it was true. 

“Luckily she got your looks.”

“That’s not entirely true, she has your eyes.” 

“Stephanie’s eyes are dark brown, baby, what are you talkin’ about?”

“The shape of them. The way they talk just from how they’re looking at you.  They’re all you.”  Emily’s eyes were completely his, too.  The stab of pain was fleeting, but it was sharp, and he wondered if he’d ever be able to hear her name again and not feel for a split second like he might crumble. 

An awkward silence fell over them, and Kayla couldn’t really take it. So, she acknowledged this elephant in the room.  “I want to ask you so many things.”

Steve nodded.  “I know.  And I wanna answer them.”

Kayla swallowed and then very bravely admitted, “I’m afraid of what you’re going to say.”  Steve didn’t say anything at first, and he marveled at how Kayla didn’t push him.

“You’re right to be afraid.  I’m as scared of answering you as you are of hearing the answers.”

“Ok,” she said breathily.  “Maybe we should sit down for this.”

“There’s no maybe about it, Sweetness, this isn’t a quick conversation.”

Steve sat on the left side of the couch, a very low light blanketing the room in a soft, golden glow.  Kayla sat against  the arm of the right side of the couch, being very careful to pull her robe closed at the legs.  That show of modesty met the sound still resonating in Steve just below the surface of Sam’s admiring tone, and Steve did not like the resulting feeling.  He blinked it away, because he was very aware of the fact that this other Kayla hadn’t had him a whole night yet, and it had been a very long time.  She was right to feel modest, and reasoning out that fact helped to focus him.  Steve also couldn’t help but feel almost comforted by the familiar 1979 positioning of their bodies.  It gave him some strength to face the conversation ahead.

“Still not dreaming?”

Steve chuckled and took her hand. He needed to be touching her.  “Still wide awake.”

“Ok, then, please just tell me.”

For the next hour, Steve did his best to take Kayla from the moment he flatlined to the moment he climbed the dedicated back stairs and began hiding out in the attic.  He stuck to the original version and not the one he’d relived, which meant he was filling in the memory gaps with assumptions and embellishments borrowed from his jumps.  From what he could gather they were probably very close to the truth, anyway.  The faked death and becoming a Dimera soldier Steve was going to come completely clean about.  Being from the future, however, he had no intention of explaining.  Why time travelling would be any harder to accept than coming back from the dead he didn’t know, but his instinct was very clearly telling him to leave all of that out.  Steve didn’t have any plan for how this conversation went, because this conversation was never planned in the first place.  So he took it one thing at a time and did his best to keep it as close to the truth as he could. 

“How could no one have noticed you in the morgue?”

“Because the amount of people on Alamain’s payroll was through the roof, Kayla.  I fought with everything I had, even kicked in a guy’s teeth.  But I’d just gotten out of the coma then couldn’t move through the drug that doctor gave me.  Felt it every time that defibrillator went off.”

“Oh God, no!  Steve, no!”  Kayla squeaked.  She took his hand and squeezed it.  Steve jumped slightly when her hand met his, because this Kayla was not so far off from his own Kayla.  Their reactions to what happened in that hospital room were almost identical.

“It was a long time ago.  It’s ok now.  But it wasn’t ok then, I was out of strength, and I couldn’t get away.”  Of course, that’s not how it went the one time he had a memory of it, but he felt positive that the extrapolation was true  “They brought in this big guy to replace Toothless Joe right after that, before I even left the morgue.  Kept me pumped full of the drug, but it never really worked.  They were trying to make me forget.”

“Forget what?”

“My life.  My whole life, baby.  You, Stephanie, Mama, Adrienne.  Everyone.  All it did was make me feel weird, wasn’t erasing anything.  They laced my food with it, and that worked a little better, started messin’ with my head.  Not enough to erase my memory, but enough that they could control me.  So, I went on a hunger strike. My guard used to sneak candy bars in to me so I wouldn’t starve, but I wouldn’t eat for weeks, lost weight, muscle.  Got real weak.”  Tears sailed down Kayla’s cheeks.  Steve reached out to wipe her tears away.  The look in Kayla’s eyes was so sad.  The emotional separation they’d suffered starting with their being ripped away from 1989 was assaulting him with both barrels as he disclosed all of this, and his need for her was intense.  Her love for him, even after all this time, was so evident on her face that he started feeling the pull his need fomented in him.  With each passing second he wanted to feel that love from her.  Pined for it.  Needed it.  His Kayla wasn’t here.  This Kayla was.  And he loved them both so much.  Somehow he was able to continue.  “That’s when Alamain sold me to Stefano Dimera and things really went south.”

Kayla shrunk back from him like she’d been hit in the face.  “Stefano?”  This was bad.  Her whole family was being tormented by that madman.  “You were—sold—to him?  Like a—a—a piece of property?”

Steve nodded with genuine bitterness.  “That’s what he was into by then, baby, human trafficking.  ISA knew about it, too.” 

Kayla felt the flush rush up her neck and hit her cheeks.  “The ISA?”  Stveve nodded.  “Who?  Who knew about it?” her voice trembled.  Steve knew what that and her newly crimson complexion were about and felt strangely compelled to exonerate the man Kayla was already indicting in her head. 

“The men at the top.  That Tarrington guy.  Not the agents on the ground.”  Kayla let out a nervous breath.  “Shane had no idea.”

Kayla shifted her eyes away before closing them in a combination of remorse and relief that she hadn’t been sleeping with the enemy all that time.  She played her fingers at her lips, though, and Steve needed to get her off this topic.  “Kayla, Tarrington knew about trafficking, but no one knew I was one of them.”  He took a beat to be very sure he got this right, as there was no Rolf in this timeline to be anyone’s mole, “but they found out someone was sold in the harbor.”

“The harbor?  You mean … you were still in Salem?!”

“Yeah.  Summer of ’91 they transferred me to Dimera, hauled me off to Italy, and that’s where they ended up succeeding where Alamain’s drug failed.”

 “Succeeded in what, erasing your memory?!”

“Yes.”

Kayla felt that answer like a hard slap in the face and even flinched.  “Wha … what?  You can’t be serious!”

“I am.”

“Your memory.”

“Gone.”

“H … How?!”

“Good old fashioned torture.”

Kayla had to get up.  She had to move or she was going to be swallowed up by that couch.  She swayed through her angst and asked him for details, but that’s where he started holding back.  She was worked up enough as it was, the details of the sensory torture were not something he needed to burden her with.  He kept it very vague but left no room for doubt that he fought it with everything he had.

“It wasn’t until they threatened to kill you and Stephanie that I finally let them win.”  Steve was whispering now, just in case Stephanie was awake and listening, unwilling to allow any of this to be overheard and damage his already vulnerable daughter.  “They meant business, too. Showed me doctored photos of your dead body.  Carved up into a bloody pulp.  I didn’t know they were fakes, I thought they were real.”  Steve’s face reflected how horrifying these photos must have been.  “I wanted to die, too, baby.”  Steve’s voice was tight as he fought the lump in his throat to keep it together.  “I went crazy thinkin’ you were dead, begged them to spare Stephanie, that I’d do anything they wanted, be anyone they wanted.  That’s when they knew they’d won.  Told me the pictures were faked but that this was my last chance, and that if I didn’t let you go that they’d make it real.  And I believed them.  Couldn’t gamble with your lives, and there was no way I was gonna let them get to our baby.”  Kayla had her face in her hands to muffle her sobs.  “So I gave up the fight, and … I died.  I let the conditioning they’d been using to torture me just do its job.  I let them kill Steve Johnson.  I told you I’d die for you, baby.”  Kayla looked up, her tears staining her reddened cheeks. She looked at him with such tenderness that Steve’s own tears were no longer controllable.  “Didn’t I tell you that?” he rasped. Kayla nodded through the incredible memories of Steve’s devotion to them.  “And before I knew it, I was a whole new man.  A man with no past, doing Stefano’s bidding – I was a soldier of the Phoenix.” 

Steve had never actually said that out loud, and now that he had, he was deeply affected.  “Oh, Steve.  Steve …”  Kayla reached for her husband as he reached back for her, and they held each other tightly. 

The events were constructed for this explanation, but they all happened, the real emotions for which Steve was feeling again for the first time in quite a while.  The amplification effect latched onto them and began assailing him with images of Kayla from those doctored photos.  Fear that the same fate would befall his daughter followed.  The time jumping side effect increased from there as terrible homesickness for his baby boy in a primary timeline that seemed lost to him squeezed at his heart.  Then the grief of losing Emily squeezed it harder.  Steve was crying real tears as he clutched onto Kayla now, silent but for whimpering breaths.   Kayla held him tight as she cried her own. 

They felt so solid in each other’s arms, but they also felt different.  Steve was so much leaner than when she’d last seen him, and Kayla was more toned, firm muscle replacing some of her softness.   Steve’s hair was short and choppy when she tried to wrap her fingers in it, and hers was straight, free of the curls she’d worn for most of their relationship.  For Kayla ten years had gone by, for Steve, this was a version of Kayla he’d never known.  It put them on ironically equal footing.

Steve needed to kiss her.  Be kissed by her.  He needed his wife.  “Kayla,” he hiccupped, “do you remember Stockholm?”

“Of course, I do,” she sniffled.

It was the wrong answer, but desperation had bloomed within him, and he had to have his primary Kayla.  He took her face in his hands and held her firmly before him.  “Prove it,” he whispered.  “Tell me it’s you.  That you remember.” 

“I remember!  The bonds, the storm drain!  You made me an omelet at Helga’s!”

Steve’s heart sank.  He shook his head, but then kissed her gently on the lips without letting go of her face.  When he pulled back, nothing had changed.  No intake of air, no blank stare.  She was still Destination Kayla, and Steve couldn’t accept it.  He kissed her cheeks and her chin and her lips and begged her again to remember Stockholm.  Kayla had no idea why he kept repeating that, but she didn’t care, this was her husband, he was alive, and he could say anything he wanted to her, no matter how crazy it sounded. 

“Tell me the right answer, Steve, and I’ll give it to you!  Just please… please—”

Steve silenced her, covering her mouth with his, kissing her deeply, pleadingly.  Kayla responded with an incredible intensity that changed the direction of Steve’s feelings from something desperate and needy to something very, very passionate.  When they finally broke they were both dizzy with feeling.  In that moment, Steve accepted that his Kayla still was not there.  Utter sadness in that fact surrounded him, but so did the love that this Kayla had for him.  The love that he had in equal measure for her.  They were the same woman, and Steve knew how broken she’d felt for so long.  How alone she was with her unreturned affections that had been reduced to only memories for her to bathe herself in instead of his actual presence.  His Primary Kayla went through this, and he couldn’t bare to let her do it again.  Kayla sensed that something was wrong – more than the obvious – but she didn’t have it in her to tempt fate and voice it.  Instead she simply said, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I know,” he nodded solemnly, “because I’ve missed you, too.  Even without a memory, I always knew something was missing.  Because, God, Kayla … I love you.”

Kayla cast her puffy eyes upon her husband and positively broke down. The sound of her husband, the love of her soulmate  lost to her forever, telling her here after all those years that he loved her in his own voice, was too much, and she let herself fall over that cliff and sob in the most rapturous joy she’d ever felt in her life.  Losing all track of the state of her robe, she let Steve take her in his arms and hold her. 

“I love you, too,” she sobbed.  “Steve, I love you you much!” 

Steve kissed the top of her head, then her temple, then soon he was raining kisses down upon every inch of her face.  He wiped the rivers of tears from her cheeks and kissed her lips.  Gently at first, but the intensity of their feelings had renewed themselves and gradually transformed from the emotional release to more of the passion that had been previously building.  Steve was about to search her tongue out with his, but Kayla very aggressively and needily beat him to it, insisting he open for her, which he did.  Their mouths were tasting and seeking and receiving and causing every nerve in both of their bodies to tingle with sexual and emotional need.  Their hands stroked each other in only chaste places, but their touches upon each other’s bodies were as love-seeking and love-giving as their insistent kisses were.  Steve’s heart was filled, and he had to pour that love into her or he was going to break. 

Before he could control what was happening, he found himself turned on for the first time in a very long time.  The stir within him drove his hands seek out less innocent places.  He argued with himself that it wasn’t right, but being with her felt right.

Kayla whimpered when she felt Steve’s hand brush up against the side of her right breast through the fabric of her robe.  With impressive control and without releasing her mouth, his thumb skimmed its supple line.  Kayla’s reaction was to kiss him even more deeply.  She clutched onto his shoulders and moaned into his kiss, spurring on his need.  He wanted to squeeze her breast in his palm and feel her nipple harden.  But he forced himself to pull back before he crossed a line he wouldn’t be able to come back from.  He let himself enjoy her touch while kissing her and feeling her slender neck and shapely back in his hands a few moments longer.  Then with great difficulty he disentangled himself from his wife. 

As Kayla leaned back to her side of the couch, Steve reached for her lapels and pulled them shut.  “Don’t tempt me, baby.”  He was quite serious when he said this, and it was very strange for Kayla to hear a sentence like that from him without the commensurate snark she remembered.  She didn’t reply to this and, instead, searched his eye for validation.  Steve gave it to her with a very purposeful swipe of his thumb across her swollen lips.  “We got a conversation to finish.”

They both got up and tried to calm down.  Kayla walked into the bathroom to catch her breath, Steve adjusted his patch as he stared out the window at the small backyard.  He wanted her so badly.  Sexuality finally found a way to rival the heartbreak – and his Kayla was not here to express it to.  It wasn’t fair.  And to make things worse, it felt incredibly right to express it to the Kayla he had in front of him.  He struggled with this as he cast his gaze out into the night, giving his libido time to calm. 

Kayla had re-adjusted her robe before sitting back down, her bosom no longer revealing its secrets to him.  Steve took up his position on the couch again and continued where he left off.   

Steve strung together some more half-truths as he explained how he’d spent most of the last nine years without a memory of his past while working for organized crime, and falling into many of his old ways.  Kayla smiled at that, interestingly, and it made him very unsure about what to say or not say about Ava.  It was going to be rough no matter how he sliced it, so why have the conversation twice?  For now he decided to let it lie and wait out how long it would take for his Kayla to arrive.  He left out a great many details about his time as Nick Stockton, and that brought him to how he ended up in LA seeking out his old life again.

“My memory started coming back, and last week I realized exactly who I was.  The minute I did I got myself out of the public eye and went into hiding in order to get here undetected.”

“How did you know where to find me?” 

Steve froze.  Because we memorized it as part of our jump project and wait I even know the address and phone number of the condo you don’t live in yet was not going to make a lick of sense to this Kayla, so he said something about looking her up online that seemed to satisfy her. 

Now fully calmed down, he reached for Kayla’s hand and kissed her knuckle.  “You went to medical school, baby.  Now you’re a doctor.  You raised our beautiful baby girl.  I’m so proud of you.”  He brought the back of her hand to his lips again, then he placed her palm on his cheek.  “God, Sweetness.  I missed it.  But I’m so proud.”  It was the absolute truth in any timeline with any Kayla.

“I had a little help,” she chuckled.

“That’s just not true, you did this entirely yourself.”

“No, Kimberly lives nearby, she helps me with Stephanie.  Watches her when I’m on in the overnights.  Sometimes picks up from school. 

“You’re that girl’s mama, and you survived where other people would have crumbled.  I would have crumbled.”

“I didn’t have a choice.  She’s what I had to start living for.  The beautiful baby we made.”

“Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe that girl sleeping below us.”

“I know,” Kayla beamed.  “She’s really something special our baby girl.  But I mean it, really, Steve, I do get some help.  Thank God for Kimmie.”

“Does Shane help, too?”  He’d blurted that before he even knew he was thinking it.  It was the absolute wrong thing to say, because she clammed up immediately.  Of coruse, she did, this was not a Kayla that had a revealing purge of the facts of she and Shane yet; no, this Kayla was just this side of irrepairable damage to and from her sister.  What the f*ck, dude, Steve admonished himself.  It was his Sam-inspired jealousy talking, and he hated that in all these years he was, it seemed, unable to come to Jesus on his green-eyed monster nature.

“Not anymore.  He did a long time ago.  Helped.  We, ah, don’t see him a lot.  He and Kimberly are divorced.”

“Right.”

“Right?” 

“I mean, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Oh.”

“I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No?”

Jesus Christ, you’re making it worse!  “Nevermind.” 

“Well, why not, he’s your friend.  I mean … I know that …”

Steve got the hell off this subject.  “So, what’s going on with the rest of everyone?”

“Well, that’s a lot of catch up.  And alot of drama,” she laughed.  “I don’t know why I’m laughing, it’s not funny.  I don’t even know where to begin.”

Kayla filled him in on all kinds of details that he already knew, but also plenty that he didn’t – details that had faded by the time 2006 had come along that were fresher for Kayla here in Y2K.  She started with the trip to Lawrence Alamain’s country and her desperate search for the tapes that would implicate him in Steve’s death.  No mention of Shane’s pursuit of her was made, but she did discuss Jack and Jennifer, her rape, and Lawrence’s eventual incarceration.  Not that it lasted.  She moved on to Roman not being her brother, after all, and that he’s been going by John Black for years now and was in the thick of it with his son and daughter.  Steve didn’t know this story, and admittedly, he lost track before she was even done with it.  He was actually a little bit disappointed that she made no mention of Lawrence’s attack upon her after his funeral, the fact that she lived at Shane’s for a  good while, or what had happened with her work for a cure to this illness Lawrence had engineered.  He’d wondered if maybe she’d be more forthcoming with details in this alternate retelling, but she didn’t.  He wasn’t upset, he understood her state of mind about it and that she felt ashamed, and he didn’t wish to revisit any of this angst.  He’d told her all of this was over, and he meant it whether she was there to remember that it was over or not.  She was so animated as she recapped the years he’d missed, and he smiled watching her do it.  Kayla smiled back, enjoying his attention.

“I know, it sounds crazy.”

“They’re from Salem, right?  That place is all about the crazy.”

“Just a little bit,” she jibed. 

She saved Bo and Marcus for last, and upon hearing their names, Steve sat up very straight.  “Homey!  He’s still alive!”

“Well …  yes … of course, he is.”

“Oh, baby, we gotta call him!”

“We – we do?  Right now you mean?”

Reality hit him.  For a moment,he’d become so taken with her that he’d truly forgotten, that this was Destination Kayla, not Prime Kayla, and that made him very uneasy.  How could he have forgotten?  And what if the roles were reversed.  What if Kayla had been so carried away with the love the other him had been giving her that she never told him to stop?  No, he had to keep his head here.  Steve got up.  He had to separate himself from Kayla for at least a few moments so he could focus.

“What’s wrong?” Kayla asked, getting up to follow him.

Steve took her by the shoulders and not that gently re-seated her on the couch like an object out of place.  “I need a minute,” he said to her.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” he smiled sadly at her. “I did.”  Kayla started to question him, but he stopped her.  “Just tell me about Homey.  Where is he?” 

The answer shocked him.  As it turned out, Dr. Marcus Hunter was working in Africa.  He was one of the largely unsung heros of the Doctors without Borders program, correcting the cleft lips and clubbed feet that were so much rarer and more fixable here in the US than they were in the chronically devoid pre-natal care culture there.  He knew Marcus had been in Africa for a time but had no idea it was for the Doctors without Borders program.  It was the first he’d heard of his friend, lost to him in his own timeline, doing this kind of important work.  How could he not have known this?  How could Kayla have left that out when Steve’s memories returned?  Were they both so self-absorbed with their own problems and the drama of that goddamned town that this kind of profound part of his dead best friend’s life had become a missable footnote.  Now he was kind of mad.  And Kayla noticed.

“I did do something wrong.  I’m sorry, please tell me what I did or said or … or didn’t say … or.” 

Steve hated the struggle he heard in her voice.  “Damn this is so unfair,” he muttered.  When he looked back at her, the insecurity he saw in her features only infuriated him more.  “You didn’t do anything wrong, Kayla, but I’ll admit I might have to have a talk with you in about six or seven years.”

“Huh?”

“Look, this isn’t your fault.  This is Stefano Dimera’s fault.  This is that quack doctor, Wilhelm Rolf’s fault!”

“Who is Wilhelm Rolf?”

Steve was so tired of rehashing one story after another.  Again this was not her fault, but he just wanted to be done with the exposition.  “Stefano’s payroll.  Anything that’s happened to anyone named Brady that has a thing to do with that lunatic is something Rolf invented.  He seems like a buffoon, but the man is the brains of that operation.”

“Are you saying he’s the one who did this to you?”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah.” 

After a bit of silence Steve had taken a deep breath and looked back at Kayla.  She looked so different.  Beautiful.  More figuratively settled into her skin.  She was only six years younger than she’d be when he’d see her in his rightful timeline, but the same could be said for the difference between 1979 and 1986, and the differences were just as staggering for this span of time as for that one.  The longer he looked at her, the hotter the flame inside of him burned, the faster that anger melted. 

“What are you looking at?” she asked as neutrally as she could.  Because she wasn’t sure what he was thinking about after that unpleasant bit of discussion.

“You, Sweetness.  You’re so pretty.”

Kayla smiled humbly.  “I never thought I’d see your face again.”

“Ugly as it ever was.”

“The most handsome face I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Steve gave her a bit of a hrmph.  “It’s old, baby  Ten years looks a lot better on you than it does on me.”

Kayla got very quiet as she continued to sit on the couch with her legs tucked under her.  I see a man with ten years missing from his life.  Ten years that I didn’t get to be a part of.  That I’ll never get to live with you.”  The irony pushing in on him was so strong he felt it in his gut.  “It’s ten years older than I last saw it.  But it’s beautiful.  And I love it as much as any face you’ve ever had.”

“You are somethin’ else, Sweetness.”

Kayla smiled her brilliant, cornflower, blue eyes at him, and the love she gave him with their gaze was tangible.

Steve sat back down and slid his hands over her neck and collarbone.  He knew that every time he touched her he was going to need her more, but he couldn’t help it, he needed to be touching her.  The sexual tension inside of him was growing, and he wasn’t sure how long it would hold.  When he next looked at her he changed direction.  “So, Dr. Sam has a thing for his Intern, huh?” 

“We are not dating,” she said in no uncertain terms.  “There’s a New Year’s Eve thing at the hospital, he asked me to go, but obviously, I’m not going.”

“Damn straight,” he smiled.

“I’m a married woman.”  Kayla smiled and stuck out her chin with that statement.  Steve, however, narrowed his eye and rubbed at the beard on the side of his face. 

“He doesn’t know that,” he said tentatively, clearly sussing out something in his head.

“Well, he will.”

“No, baby, he won’t.  ‘Cause you can’t tell him.”

“Well, when I can tell him, I will, and I won’t be going to that party.”

“You mean your date?”

“It wasn’t going to be a date.”

“Please, baby,” he retorted arrogantly, “that man had the corsage all picked out.”

Kayla cracked a smile that made her glow.  “You are jealous!”

Steve looked away.  “I plead the fifth.”

Kayla closed her eyes to how it felt to watch Steve be possessive after all these years and took a very deep breath.  “I like it,”

“So are you gonna tell me about Mr. Head of Oncology or not?”

Kayla cocked her head to the side.  “How did you know he’s the head of oncology?”

Crap.  “When I was lookin’ for you …”

This time Kayla wasn’t quite buying it.  “How long have you been here?”  It was the first time the duration of his presence in her house had been addressed, and he was surprised it hadn’t come up yet.  He scratched at the whiskers at the side of his face, again.  “Stephanie found you last night.  Was that your first night?”  He crossed his arms and found something on the ceiling to look at while he searched for an answer to her question there.  “Your second?”  Now he met her eyes, pursed his lips, and shook his head. “How long, Steve?”  Now that was the Kayla he knew.

“Wednesday,” he mumbled.

“What?”  Her eyes were huge.

“Wednesday!” he repeated.  Kayla dropped her jaw.   “You’re catchin’ flies, baby.”

“Wednesday?!  You’ve been here hiding in my loft for five days?!”  Steve knew that sounded all kinds of creepy, but he had no explanation for her that she’d understand.  “When were you going to come out?  Ever?”

“When I knew it was safe!  When I knew Dimera’s men weren’t following me.”  This seemed to calm Kayla’s indignation a little, because it did make sense.  But she started to do the math in her head and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Where were you hiding when I was up here the other night?”

Steve took a beat, then angled his head to his left.  “Back there.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.  I was back there when you were reading your cancer thing.”

“My cancer thing?”  Then realization hit and she lept off the couch like it had kicked her in the ass.  “You heard my call with Sam?” she whirled on him.  “You heard the whole thing!  Oh my God.”  She flushed so quickly he was pretty sure she set a record.  Her robe swished impressively despite its age as she paced.

“I’m sorry, baby, I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I was stuck.”

Now Kayla was the one who crossed her arms.  “So you know about Sam.”  Steve nodded.  “He’s my boss, not my boyfriend.”

“He wants to be both.”  Kayla looked away.  “It’s ok to want that,”he said softly.  She cast a surprised but dubious eye on him.  “Not saying I want you to be his girlfriend,” he made very clear, “ … I’m just sayin’ this morning you thought you were a single woman.”  A whole host of conversations about what Steve would have wanted for her life without him came rushing into and back out of him.  And they hurt his heart.  He followed her up and went to where she was now leaning against the wall.  “I would never have wanted you to be lonely.”

“Steve,” she whispered.

Steve caressed the back of his hand down her face.  “I would never have wanted that for you.  If you’d found someone you liked – someone like this guy or … someone else … that made you happy, then I would have wanted you to take it.  Lived a life with someone to love you.”

Kayla took his hand from her chin and brought it to her heart.  “I was never a single woman.  I was a widow who never stopped loving her husband.  I learned that – a long time ago.  I tried to move on once, but it never worked, and I never had any desire to try again.”

“Maybe you should have.”

Kayla shook her head.  “I didn’t want to.  I still don’t want to.  Even if you hadn’t have come back, I do not have feelings for Dr. Granger.”

Steve loved the feel of his hand against the warmth of her robe.  It was a piece of clothing he knew, and he took a strange comfort in it.  “Ok,” he nodded.  “But I don’t think he’s giving up any time soon.  And you can’t very well tell him that your husband is back until we get Dimera off my back. So you might have to fake it with him for a little while.”

That sounded positively horrible to her.

Steve needed to touch her again.  And kiss her.  And her position against that wall was too inviting to ignore.  So, he leaned against her and lowered his mouth to her neck where he suckled just enough to make her push herself against him.  Her response fueled him, so he walked them back to the couch where they fell into the cushions and enjoyed several more moments of mutual exploration.  When they came up for air, Kayla giggled.  “I feel like a teenager again.” 

Steve reached into Kayla’s robe and cupped her right breast.  Kayla gasped.  My God she was being touched by her husband!  “You feel like a woman to me,” he whispered.  He looked her right in the eye and watched her eyelids fall to half as his palm molded to her breast and gently squeezed.  “I—I shouldn’t be doing this,” he started to pull his hand back.   

“Don’t stop,” she whimpered, pulling his hand back to her breast.  “Please.”

“It’s too soon.  You’re not thinking clearly.”

“Yes I am,” she insisted.

“No—it’s wrong—”  Steve had not moved his hand.  She was so soft; her grip on his wrist so insistent.

“Don’t you want me?”

Steve nodded tenderly.  “So bad.”

“Then please touch me.” He could not tell her no. He didn’t want to. 

Steve used his right hand to bring her face to his lips by the back of her head and fondled the breast he was holding more boldly.  His touch was loving yet insistent, heating her up quickly.  The bundle of nerves at Kayla’s center thrilled to the touch upon her breast, and when he let his thumb peak her nipple with a swipe across its erogenous tip, her sex positively throbbed with need.  Kayla’s hands roamed Steve in equal measure, rubbing up and down his thigh with her palm.

Warning bells went off in his head again.  This is wrong, he kept telling himself while another side of himself insisted that it was not.

This time it was Kayla who broke the kiss, sensing that maybe they should do what he said and take it slower.  He’d been alive to her for a matter of hours.  There was more to talk about, and she had every intention of staying home from work tomorrow, anyway.  So she stopped and cuddled up into his side instead.  Steve pulled Kayla in and held her against him. 

“I love you, Steve,” she murmured.  “I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

Her lack of their commensurate reply reminded him that she was still the other Kayla.  Even so, their love enveloped each other genuinely.

They discussed so much more in the hours they spent upstairs, getting to know one another again.  It wasn’t nearly as one-way as Steve thought it would be, either, because even with all the disclosure of the jump project about this time, it was the little things that were so new to him.  She talked about her routine – It was a new month, and in December Wednesdays would be her overnight shift, and Thursdays and Sundays would be her days off.  She told him about her hospital routine, Stephanie in school, and even the more mundane stuff like the utility companies and where she banked. 

Just before 2am Kayla cooed out Emily’s name as the cat jumped up into her lap and promptly made a sleepy spot for herself.  He didn’t react and chose not to say anything about renaming her.  His brain was tired and wasn’t coming up with a good reason, so he saved it for another day, if one even became necessary.  For all he knew, this Kayla would wake up a different one in the morning, and he wouldn’t have to explain why he was now calling their cat Kitty.

The purring poof seemed to do Kayla’s wakefulness in.  Her hand fell away from her soft strokes, her head slowly lolled onto Steve’s shoulder, and her eyes gently closed.  It was the first time she’d fallen asleep with her husband in ten years, and the contentment he felt in her sleeping form warmed him. 

One thng they hadn’t discussed was where Steve was going to sleep.  If this was his own Kayla, it wouldn’t have been a question, but it wasn’t, so he wasn’t sure where to go from here.  It’s not that he doubted where Kayla wanted him, it’s that he wasn’t sure where his own Kayla would.  He did know, however, that he was exhausted and that if he didn’t move her to her own room right now that both of them were going to be spending the night right in these very spots. 

Steve was a lot older, but he also felt strangely stronger as he hooked his left arm under her knees and shifted her to his lap.  The half-moon’s light reflected off of her fair skin.  She looked so different.  Her beautiful face held small elements of the Kayla he’d left behind while just hinting at  the Kayla he’d return to.  But there were also new features that weren’t part of either version of her.  The style of her hair, the thickness of her lashes, and the mild hollow at her neck – they were all part of a Kayla that had existed in the negative space between his times with her.  He was fascinated with her and couldn’t look away for quite some time as she dozed in his arms.  Her smooth cheek beckoned to his lips.  He succumbed without a thought and was happy to see his wife so content when she let out a sleepily pleased moan. 

Steve carried her down the stairs and into her bedroom, placed her on the side of her unmade bed he’d watched her sleep in on his first night there, and covered her up.  He watched her for just a moment, signed I love you to her, then turned to go back to the loft for the night.

“Don’t go.”  The sound of Kayla’s sleepy voice was beautiful.  He wasn’t out the door yet when he turned back to her.  She was still in the position he’d gently laid her in, her eyes closed.  “Don’t go,” she repeated.  “Stay here. With me.”

Steve wasn’t sure if she was talking in her sleep or not.  “Are you dreaming?” he asked.

Kayla’s eyes stayed closed, but the corners of her mouth turned up.  “Wide awake.”  The drowsy timbre of her voice told him the wide part might be a stretch.  He knew he should be leaving her be and waiting out his wife, but … she was his wife.  The effect of his return on her had had a profound effect on him, and he wanted to be with her.

The moment he climbed into bed with her Kayla enfolded herself against him for the first time since doing so in a hospital bed for what she assumed would be the very last time.  He’d just slept with her a week ago, but this was different.  Important.  Kayla felt the same way.  She would have cried if only she had the energy, which she didn’t.  What she had left in her before sleep took her was to dig her face into the crook of Steve’s neck and inhale. 

Once again, Steve could not believe how deeply he was affected by Kayla’s intense response to his homecoming.  It was so much different from 2006 – because this was a Steve that remembered her.  The sadness he was able to take from her and the pieces of her heart he’d mended just by being there were, frankly, profound.  He fell asleep with the smell of her imprinting upon his soul.

It was fewer than four hours later whe Kayla’s alarm scared the living sh*t out of him.  Disoriented and unsure where he was, the alarm buzzed him out of a sleep that wasn’t nearly as deep as Steve needed it to be.  He hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep since he’d begun hiding there six days ago, and the hours were catching up with him.  He sat straight up, his hand flying in Pavlovian response to his patch that had come askew in the night.  The room was just as dark at this hour of the morning as it was at the same hour of the evening, and the lack of sunlight upon waking was very confusing.

Kayla wrapped her hand around his hard bicep, centering him with her touch.  When he looked to her, he found his focus.  Her first words husky from sleep brought him all the way to the here and now.  “Good morning.”  Her eyes were luminous with the light pouring in from the hallway.

“Yes it is, Sweetness,” Steve replied.  He wrapped his palm around the back of his wife’s head and kissed her gingerly on the forehead, which produced a happy squeal from the doorway.

Stephanie was staring at them, her hands clasped beneath her chin like the happy ending to a romantic  movie had just played out before her eyes.  They both laughed, then she did, too.  Steve felt slightly self-conscious, because he’d been caught in bed with her mother.  He knew it was completely stupid to feel this way, because as her father, he was the right one to be in bed with her in the frist place.  But this was still a little new to him.

Stephanie acquiesced to the fact that she was done with the sick act and got ready for school.  The same could not be said for Kayla, who was giving him a lot of pushback from the word go. 

“I laid the groundwork, now let me run the train on it!  There’s no reason for me to go in when you’re here!”

“There’re a ton of reasons, baby, most of them carrying guns without a care in the world about the collateral damage!”

“You said you gave them every reason to believe you’re not here in LA, so what are the odds?”

“Anything more than zero and that’s too risky, Kayla, no!”

“Sam’s not going to understand how I got well overnight.”

“What, the 2000’s don’t have 24-hour stomach bugs anymore?”

“As a matter of fact, no, there’s no such thing, those are almost always food poisoning, like he said.  It’s not that it can’t be a virus, it’s just that those don’t usually clear up overnight. One day maybe, but my ‘onset,’” she used air quotes, “was like 12 hours ago, so it’s gonna sound like a whole lot of amateur to him.” 

“See what happens when you don’t act normal?!”  Kayla crossed her arms stubbornly, and Steve rubbed at his forehead. 

“I’m staying home.”

“No!”

“Dammit!”

“Yes, ‘dammit,’ now get ready for work!”

Very grudgingly Kayla showered and got dressed. When she appeared in the kitchen Steve had made them eggs, toast, and bacon, which Stephanie was shoving into her mouth like there was no tomorrow. 

“Mom, it’s so good!” 

Kayla couldn’t help but laugh at the vision of Steve taking over her kitchen, not to mention Stephanie  shoveling the food into her mouth faster than it could be swallowed.  And Steve couldn’t help but look away from her, because she was so beautiful and smelled incredible even from across the room.  As a result, Kayla’s grin didn’t last; insecurity tugged at her.

“Steve, don’t you want to be with me today?”

Steve’s heart fluttered.  Because he absolutely did.  He took her into his arms.  “Yes, I want to.  But we gotta act normal.  You’ve gotta look like it’s just another day.  In case you’re bein’ watched, these guys do a good job of hiding in plain sight.  Until we can make real sure.”

Kayla exhaled.  “When will that be?”

“They’ve been lookin’ for me for a solid week now.  If I were looking for me, I’d be checking the wife’s house.  When I’m real sure they’ve looked and given up or aren’t gonna be lookin’ at all.  At least after a few more days have gone by, we can go to the ISA.”

Kayla ran her hand up the chiseled muscles of Steve’s abdomen. This was not chaste.  This was not soulful.  It was a show of sexuality.  He shivered with her touch, and he could tell that she felt his reaction.  “I miss you,” she whispered. 

Stephanie was in her room packing up her backpack.  Steve wanted to caress her breast, fill his palms with her round bottom.  But he dared not lest he wouldn’t be able to stop.  Instead he held her face in his hands  and kissed her quickly but deeply.  “I miss you, too, Sweetness.”

Stephanie hugged her father and insisted that tonight after dark she’d take him to see the Bluesmobile.  Steve genuinely couldn’t wait. She ran out to the car, and Kayla made very sure he knew where everything was.  “There’s nothing off limits to you.  This is your house, now, too.” 

“Thank you, baby.”  Just before the door closed he called back out to her.  She threw it back open, hoping he’d changed his mind about her calling in sick.  “Will you fix my hair tonight?”  Kayla smiled broadly. 

“I’d be happy to,” she said.  Then she left the house, and he watched them pull away.

Steve went up to the loft and splayed himself across the couch.  Kitty took up residence right uner his chin, and neither of them moved a muscle for the next seven hours.  The weight of discovery lifted off his shoulders, sleep finally found him with the restfulness he desperately needed.

His girls walked in the door perfectly healthy and without any doubt cast upon them three hours later.  He was showered, he’d done all his laundry, and he felt, truly, like a new man.  Suddenly having a father again or not, Stephanie had homework, so she went right into her room to do that so she could get it overwith.  Meanwhile, Kayla saw that, once again, Steve had put together dinner for them, and she had to remind him that she was capable of cooking. 

“I know, Sweetness, it just gives me something to do.”

“If you’d let me stay home, you would have had plenty to do.” Steve swallowed as his penis stirred. 

“Say what?”

Kayla repeated herself non-chalantly.  “You said you were looking for something to do?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“I’m just saying, I have a few ideas.”  She licked her lips.  Why’d she have to go and do that?

Steve raised his eyebrow without moving his eye off of her.  “Oh, I can see thatyou do,” he said.

“Actually, I doubt that you can.  See.”   Steve should have known this would happen.  Because this aggressiveness was just like her. 

After dinner, Steve found himself in the driver’s seat of his car for the first time in this jump.  The Bluesmobile was still alive and kicking in 2009 and was also a frequent part of their jumps, so it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it lately; but seeing it with his daughter was special, and under cover of the heavy darkness of this overcast night Steve felt fairly sure it was safe.  They were in there for a good hour, talking about everything from the belts to the hoses to the major parts to the paint job (which wasn’t so great due to the expense of cosmetics).  She knew her stuff, and she talked almost like a pro.  He was so impressed.  Kayla watched them from the window, more than happy to give them as much time together as either of them wanted.  Because this was a miracle, and she wanted as much of it for her daughter as she could possibly give her.  She wanted a piece of that miracle for their own private time, too, but nothing was more important than giving Stephanie every possible minute of available time with her father. 

Another bedtime routine, another night of Stephanie falling asleep rather quickly, and as promised, Kayla had Steve on a kitchen stool under an old sheet with the scissors in her hand.

“So, ah … what happened here, anyway?” Kayla asked as she pulled up random sections of his choppily cut hair.

“Had to look as different as possible.  The long hair and patch were a serious problem.  Hacked all of it off.  Almost dyed it brown.”

“That would have been really weird,” she acknowledged.

“No, you want really weird?” Steve practically chortled.  “I walked around in broad daylight without the patch on my face.”

Kayla froze.  “You did?”

Steve nodded lightly.  “Yeah.”  Her tone was no longer playful, so neither was his.  “Had no choice.  It gives me away.  Hid the thing as best I could under a pair of shades.”

Kayla snipped in silence as she took in that significant action.  Under no circumstances that she’d ever known about did Steve appear in public without his patch.  Ever. In the history of him.  She knew how self-conscious he was when it was even off-center, let alone off his face.  The fact that he went without it, even if he was hidden under sunglasses, was a show of his desperation to get to her and Stephanie and ensure their safety. 

“I’m so sorry.”  She barely whispered this, but Steve heard it.  He took her free hand and squeezed it. 

“Don’t be.  It was worth it.  I didn’t lead them to you.  That’s all that matters.”

Kayla finished his hair in silence, deeply moved by Steve’s actions to get home.   She brushed the hairs off the back of Steve’s exposed neck, her fingertips making him tingle as they made contact with his skin.  Her love for him was all-consuming. 

Steve felt it when she bent at the waist, and even though he knew what she was going to do, it was still shocking when he felt her wet lips on the back of his neck.  Steve’s breath hitched softly in his throat.  This is a bad idea.  But he’d said it only to himself, his voice stifled by the intensity of his arousal.  Last night was the first time he’d felt this way in a very long time.  Now he did again.  And it felt so good. 

The sheet fell away as Kayla placed another kiss right below the first, then another, then another after that, her lips lingering just long enough to make him crave the next.  She’d run out of skin when she hit the collar of the dark brown button-down that had been hugging his muscular frame, so she attached her lips to the side of his neck and sucked gently as she reached around him from the back to unbutton the shirt from the top down.  Steve gasped, and Kayla mewled sexily.  He wanted to stop.  He hadn’t been intimate with his wife properly in weeks, and it was important to him that he feel this arousal with her.  But he saw how badly this Kayla needed him.  Needed his touch.  Needed to give him hers.  The overwhelming amount of love she was pouring into every one of these kisses was too hard to push away.  It wasn’t just the eroticism, it was the way he felt the broken pieces inside himself start to mend.  Very slowly, the hurting was slightly less with each moment her lips and her hands infused her love into him.  And what’s more, he was healing her broken heart, too.  And, in fact … more.

The last button unfastened, Kayla moved on to his waistband where she unbuttoned his jeans before sliding her hands hungrily back up his abdomen and chest.

“Baby …” he whispered.  “Sweetness …” 

Steve let her slip the shirt down over his shoulders where it met the sheet on the floor.  She then let her lips continue where they’d left off, trailing hot, wet kisses down the back of his neck all the way down his spine.  He felt her tongue dart out to taste his skin, and there was no way he was going to be able to avoid it when his cock hardened like a bullet.  He desperately wanted to adjust, but he knew if touched his cock he wouldn’t be able to let it go until he came.  Kayla sensed it as he panted with the arousal and whispered in his ear.  “Let me love you.”

Steve was out of his head.  He pivoted on the stool and lifted her by her ribcage to straddle him.  She was wearing white pajama bottoms and a white tanktop with a built-in shelf bra, and all he wanted to do was rip it all off of her – bury her tits in his mouth and his dick inside of her.  He wanted – needed – to feel her soul join with his in a union that had become true, emotional torture to be separated from.  It had been ten days.  Only one other time had it taken this long for her to get there.  If he’d stop to think about the similarities, they would have made him sit up and take notice, but right now all he was capable of noticing was how much his need was making him ache.  His balls were blue, his heart was yearning, and his wife was right here, unattainable.

No she’s not.  She’s right here begging you to take her.

I can’t, he thought to himself.  It’s not right.

Why?  Kayla was grinding against the rock hard rod sticking up through the top of his unbuttoned jeans.  She’s your wife.

She’s my other wife.  Not my real wife.

“Tell me you love me!” Kayla whimpered between carnal kisses.  “I need to hear it!”

“I love you, Kayla!” he moaned into her neck as he bit at it.  “You have no idea how much.  What I’d do for you!”

She’s absolutely you’re real wife. 

They tumbled onto the floor of the dimmed kitchen and grinded themselves against each other in desperate need to release the sexual exression of their love for each other.  Kayla’s legs were wrapped around her husband’s waist as he covered her with his body.  Their kisses were carnal.  Raw.  But undoubtedly driven by the love they couldn’t contain within themselves.

“Make love to me, Steve!  Please!”

She wants you  Let her have you.  Let yourself have her.

“Touch me, Steve!  Why won’t you touch me?!”

It was very purposeful that Steve hadn’t let his hands or his mouth come into contact with the intimate parts of her body that he craved most.  Because they’d already talked about this.  Back in Chicago.  And 1987 in the loft after they’d become engaged without him.  And so many other times since Rolf told them to live the timelines.  Their decision was … was … so unfair and confusing!  And while he had now accepted that this was very much his wife who needed him and loved him, he was terrified of breaking the heart of the wife that was still out there without him. 

He couldn’t keep his wives straight.  All their discussions blended in his head, threatening to break it open.  And that’s when he succumbed.  He was shaking with the rush of chaotic adrenalin and every hormone screamed at him as he looked down upon her.  For a moment they locked eyes, then he growled with sexual abandon and crushed his lips to hers.  He moaned her name into their kisses, swept his tongue into her mouth, felt her arch her back, and felt the carnality burn within him.  He wanted her.  He wanted to love her. 

Steve attacked her neck, suckled hard at it, and felt powerful when she emitted a stifled cry of pleasure.  The spot he knew made her crazy did not disappoint either of them as he nipped and lathed it.  Such a small spot, yet so directly connected to her core, she could’t speak while his lips were attached to her.

Steve finally released her and saw the red splotch he’d created.  He wasn’t sure how that would get explained but put it out of his head as he reached under her tank.  Her skin was so smooth and warm.  Her breasts lay just beneath the fabric, and he had to bare them. Had to see them.  Had to taste them.  He realized the shelf bra was going to mean pulling down on her neckline was going to be easier and started to do that, but before he could expose them he sucked in his breath at the feel of her firm hand upon his hardened length.

“My God, Steve,” she panted.  It had been ten years since she’d touched him like this. He felt solid and strong as she started stroking him.  She used both hands to push his jeans down over his ass, exposing him fully.  Now for the first time, she palmed his naked shaft.  She closed her eyes, the concept of her husband’s erection being fondled in her bare hand too much.  She was heady. She thought she would pass out.

Steve moaned.  It felt so good.  Part of him wanted to direct her mouth to his cock and wrap his hands in her hair as she sucked, but her tits called to him.  He finally pulled down the straps of her tank and watched as her milky-white breasts came free.  

“Sweetness,” he whispered.  “You’re beautiful.  You’re so beautiful.  I love you.”

“I love you, Steve!”

“I love you so much.”  Steve dipped his head to her left breast and licked her nipple.  Another stroke to his cock from his wife’s hand made him insane, and now he sucked most of that breast into his mouth.  His tongue was warm and felt incredible against her tip, hardening it to painful stiffness.  His other hand rubbed at her free breast and rolled her nipple in his fingers.

“Make me feel you,” she pleaded.

Steve bit at one nipple while squeezing the other, compelling her to, once again, arch her back.  She rubbed her center against him, trying to make contact, and Steve immediately responded by grinding against her.  He had to reach into her underwear, feel her wetness in his fingers.  Rip them of fof her and taste it on his tongue.  But his dick felt so good, her soft sighs making it hard for him to stop.  They couldn’t help but do just that, though, when the force of their gyrations forced Kayla’s head into the cabinet door with a hard thud.  Kayla cried out, and Steve’s eye went wide. 

“Sweetness?!”

“Ow,” she said with genuine pain, rubbing the top of her head. 

“What happened?!”

Now she released an “Uuuh” in sexual frustration, her clitoris aching with need to come.  She wasn’t sure what hurt more, her core or the top of her head. 

“Are you ok?”  Steve’s sex haze was clearing with his wife’s moans of pain beneath him, and he got a really good look at their surroundings.  They were on the kitchen floor.  He was going at her with abandon on the hard kitchen floor.  This was not ok with him.

“Yeah,” she said very unconvincingly, “just …” she looked around, now, too.  “I hit my head on the cabinet.”

Steve crawled off of her.  “Goddammit, I hurt you.  Baby, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault, it’s ok.  I’m ok,” she replied as she started to sit up.

Kayla’s scream of pain as he unknowingly ripped through her virginity in Chicago rang in his head.  “It is my fault.  This is all wrong, baby, we can’t do this.”

“What?  What do you mean?  I – it’s just a bump, I’m ok.”

Steve inspected the top of her head for visible damage.  “It’s not a bump, I heard the sound of it.  I just … Jesus, I pounded you into that cabinet.”  He kissed the top of her head with genuine remorse.  “I’m sorry, baby.”

“I think I helped you along, don’t you think?”

Steve glared.  “Maybe.” 

“I want you to finish,” she smiled.

Steve took a deep breath.  He knew that he had to choose his words carefully or she’d feel rejected.  But the fact was that this wake up call came at the right time.  He’d gotten carried away, and he knew if he did this he’d regret it.  If there were no Ava he’d arrived into, literally, he might feel differently, but his Kayla was going to have to hear that news, and knowing he’d made love to the other her would be two shoes dropping at the same time. He had to think of her feelings. 

“I want to finish, too.  But not here.  Not like this on the floor of the kitchen.”  He pulled up his pants but didn’t zip them.  Then he rehooked her straightened her tank for her and smoothed out her hair.  He kissed her lips gently and whispered.  “We have time.”  Kayla was disappointed, but she admitted to herself that he was right, this was not the place to make love for the first time.  “It’s been two days.  It’s not doin’ right by you.”

“It’s been ten years.  It’s doing plenty of right by me.”

Those words were very familiar; she’d uttered them in the lighthouse.  Steve shook his head.  “Slow down.  Let’s do this right.”

Kayla smiled.  “Ok,” she acceded.  A sudden shyness came over her, and she crossed her arms in front of herself.  Steve could see a question trying to form on her lips, so he let her get it out. 

“Do I feel different?”

Steve chose to be honest with her.  “A little bit, yes.  You feel like you work out now.”

Kayla nodded.  “I do.  Do you still … like how I feel?”

He tilted his head.  “Sweetness, I love how you feel.”

“I’m older.  I’m almost 40.” 

“You are perfect to me.  I’m the one who’s older.  I don’t even have to ask, I know I feel different.”

“You feel like a miracle.”

Moments later Kayla went to her room for the night while Steve went to the loft.   She couldn’t help feeling an icy thread of rejection when he went back to the loft instead of her bed.  She didn’t understand why, and he couldn’t explain that another her was due soon.

Wednesday morning Steve woke up to his wife laying next to him.  He didn’t know when she’d snuck up there, but he chuckled at how some things never changed.  He checked the large watchface on his wrist and saw it was not yet 5:30am.  Stephanie would be awake for school soon, and he didn’t want her to wake up wondering where her mother went.  Morning wood had taken up residence in his crotch, so it felt good to kiss her.  It felt even better when she began kissing him back.   

“Good morning, Sweetness,” he whispered.

“Mm … Good morning.”

“When did you sneak in here?”

Kayla shrugged.  “I dunno, it was dark.”

“Baby, it’s still dark.  Almost 5:30, your alarm is gonna go off in a minute.”

“No, my shift is the overnight this time.  After I get Stephanie to school I’ll come back.  I start at noon and go 18 hours, then I’m off tomorrow.”

“That’s a long shift, baby.”

“I usually catch a nap.  Wish you could come with me.”

Once Kayla dropped her off, Stephanie would be at school or at Kimberly’s from now until Thursday afternoon with her sister doing all the pickups.  Steve wasn’t happy that his daughter would be out of his sights during this time.  But it had been eleven days without a single sighting of a Dimera goon, so the risk did seem low.  They had a family pow wow before Stephanie left for school and went over very specifically how his presence was to be kept completely mum.  Stephanie was very convincing when she assured them that she wouldn’t be saying anything. It was all they could do.

Being in the house by himself for this extended period of time was very strange.  Kayla called him several times from her office number, but being alone with himself gave him a lot of time to think about what had happened on the kitchen floor the night before.  Just like in 1979, a little groping seemed fine, but this wasn’t even heavy petting. He almost took her.  And he was forced to admit to himself that he wasn’t sure if it was that wrong anymore.  Maybe it was right?  Wrong for the slipstream for sure.  But he’d already resigned himself to bucking the slipstream, because they just couldn’t control that.  Staying with Ava would be tantamount to rape, he didn’t want it.  Marrying Jack if it ever came to that was never going to happen ever again.  Those things were wrong.  But the rightness or wrongness of being with their destination counterparts no longer seemed as black and white as they’d discussed. 

Steve didn’t realize what he was going to do until he found himself at the Hotmail login screen.  Before he knew it he’d started pouring his heart out in another email to Kayla.  Very little deletion or rethinking, he just let it all out as he thought it.

Sweetness, Stephanie found me the other day.  It was inevitable I guess.  But she is beautiful. And smart. And the second of the best four things that ever happened to me.  You didn’t tell me how much she loved the Bluesmobile.  I had no idea she took such good care of the car.  No wonder it runs so good back home!  Seeing her, how you raised her?  I can’t look too close, it’s that beautiful.  The problem is that once she found me it was kind of hard to keep me a secret. That landlady of yours is loco.  It’s a long story, but thanks to her you found me, and now I’m hiding here to make sure it’s safe.

Baby, you have no idea how much I am missing you right now.  Actually you do, don’t you?  This how you felt every day for 16 years.  Missing me.  It’s a little different for me, though, cause I almost made love to you last night.  On the kitchen floor.  I know what we said, and I know what we thought was right, but damn, baby, you are persistent.  You don’t take no for an answer.  And I’d be lying if I said I wanted you to, because I didn’t.  You should have seen the look on your face when I was trying to put you off.  It broke my heart. I was hurting you.  I almost told you I was from the future and waiting for the other you, just so you’d understand, but I came to my senses.  I don’t know what to do, baby. I love you.  You’re the only woman I want for the rest of my life.  You’re the only woman I’ve ever really loved.  I’m yours till the end of time. You’re my wife.  But that’s the problem.  You’re right here.  Also my wife.  The other you.  And this you loves me just the same as you do.  The 1979 you didn’t know me, you had fallen in love with me all on your own. But this you was married to me.  This you watched me die.  This you is the you you are now in six more years.  Same girl.  Steve didn’t realize that he was crying.   What am I supposed to do?  I’m either gonna hurt her or I’m gonna hurt you.  Kayla, it’s been 11 days.  If you don’t get here today then it’s gonna be a new record.  Please come home to me, baby, I can’t take it.

He hit the send button on his self-directed therapy session, turned off the computer, and wallowed in his confusion.

He spent less time that afternoon watching for henchmen and more time in front of the TV. That’s when some inspiration hit him.  The classic Folgers coffee commercial on TV made the wheels turn in his head.  The last thing on his mind was the time of year, but this Christmas commercial reminded him that it was actually the beginning of the Christmas season, as it was one of Kayla’s favorites.  And he knew just what he was going to do.

Two hours later every Christmas decoration he’d found in the loft that didn’t belong on a tree was adorning the house.  White lights outlined the perimeter of the kitchen archway, and he attached colored ones to the mouldings of the bedrooms.  He hung some mistletoe in a couple strategic places, and he placed two giant nutcrackers he didn’t know beside the front door like welcoming butlers.  The decorations helped lift him a bit out of his funk, pulling a knowing smile out of him as the golden glow of the kitchen archway bathed him in its light.

Steve wasn’t terribly hungry (for a change), but he ate something anyway, and began settling in for the night.  But he couldn’t fall asleep.  It wasn’t that late, but Kayla had called for the last time, and he just wanted the morning to get here so she could come back to her festive home.  An hour later his mind was even less restful than it was before, fears of this being Day 12 now overcoming him.  It was a new record. And he didn’t like it.  He stared out the window and softly called her name into the night. 

Then he smiled.

Kayla had a wall of shrubs in the back of the yard that flowered all year long.  This was LA, after all, not Salem, and their idea of winter here was more wet and cool than snowy and cold.  He saw foliage from the loft window every day, and now a week after he’d arrived he really appreciated how beautifully they’d bloomed.  So with the darkness providing ample cover, he descended the back stairs and picked ten beautiful flowers of pink, yellow, and white – one for every year he’d been gone from this Kayla.  He arranged them in a vase he found under the sink, placed them on her nightstand, and was very pleased when their fragrance filled the room.  He slept there beside them on Kayla’s side of the bed that night, her sheets against his naked body and her pillow beneath his cheek.  Only then, with the feel of his wife around him did he finally fall asleep.

Kayla called to Steve when she entered the house.  It was nearly 7am, so when he didn’t reply she assumed he was sleeping in.  She kicked off her shoes and tossed her jacket onto the stool she’d trimmed Steve’s hair on before ascending the stairs.  When he wasn’t there she tried very hard not to panic.  She flew down the stairs and started screaming for him.  She stopped only moments later, however, when she was struck dumb by the Christmas lights.  Kayla smiled as she slowly turned from the kitchen and saw each of the three bedroom doors outlined in the colored lights.  She poked her head into the guest room to find that the futon in there had been untouched.  She passed up Stephanie’s room, entered hers, and immediately smelled the faint scent of the flowers Steve had picked.  

The sight of her husband in her bed was unreal.  It was indescribably joyous.  He hadn’t stirred yet, and she could see from where the sheet lay that he was naked.  It had been a very long shift with a lot of very sick cancer patients fighting seasonal colds with their chemo-driven weakened immune systems; she also did her best to evade any time with Sam that didn’t include Rounds so that she wouldn’t have to discuss their date.  He knew that she’s be seeing Kimberly and was eager to find out if she’d be watching Stephanie.  So, she was exhausted. Normally, she’d catch five or six hours of sleep before Kim dropped her daughter off from school.  But today, the sight of her naked husband in her bed made this a very different morning.  She wanted him.   Desperately.

Kayla slipped her naked body in next to her husband and snuggled up against him.  The novelty of his arms automatically bringing her in close took her breath away.  She burrowed into him, and Steve slowly came awake with the feel of her beside him. 

“Sweetness?”

“Mm-hmm,” she kissed his chest.

He knew where he was, but he couldn’t help his next question.  “Do you remember Stockholm?”

Kayla blinked.  This question again.  Somehow … she wasn’t surprised.  This meant something to him, she just wasn’t sure what.  “Yep.  I still do.  I remember how much you loved me there.”  Steve sighed deeply. “Like you still love me here?”

Steve hated the dobut his hope for her arrival fostered in her.  “Like I love you forever.” 

Their kisses started out sleepy but quickly turned hot.  His body craved her in the same way hers craved him.  Steve could feel she was naked and hardened.  He kissed her neck and saw the mark he’d left there.  It was quite pronounced.  He ran his fingers over it, grateful for the turtleneck she left the house in yesterday.  His fingers continued to roam the shape of the hickey while Kayla did the same to the dagger tattooed onto her husband’s chest.  “I’ve missed it so much,” she whispered.

“Me, too,” he said. And he meant it, because it had been so long since her mouth had intimately been on it.  Her tongue dragged across it’s straight lines, stiffening Steve’s erection to even more maddening hardness.  “You want me.”

He didn’t answer her with words, but he didn’t need them.  His body and whimpering need told her that it was true.   Kayla took his erection in her hands and pumped them expertly up and down his shaft.  She rubbed the cum that escaped from his tip over the head of his penis, and he reacted with a hot kiss to her beautiful, plump lips. 

He flipped them over roughly, and Kayla squealed when he moved down her body to capture one breast then the other in his mouth, wrapping his velvet tongue around them until they puckered to hardness of their own.  She caressed his short hair and glanced at the nightstand as he licked and kneaded.  “Are those for me?” she smiled.

Steve looked up from his ministrations with her tits.  Her smile was beautiful.  “Sure are.  They’re beautiful, like you.  One for each year we were kept apart.”  Her expression was tender with affection.  He loved her so much.   The happiness and contentment he saw there made his heart soar. 

“Is that thing I feel against my thigh for me, too?” 

Steve pressed it against her.  “It’s not for Mrs. Lopez, baby,” he snickered.  Suddenly Kayla giggled at something over his shoulder.  “Oh, that funny?”

Kayla shook her head.  “We have a furry voyeur watching us.  I don’t think Emily has ever seen anyone do it before.  She seems very interested.”  Her laugh would have been infectious, but the use of his daughter’s name was nothing but sobering.  Without even knowing it, Kayla made it worse.  “Emily!  You are not part of this, I’m sorry fuzzball.”  Steve was coming into his head like a yo-yo being tugged back up to its wound up position while Kayla continued to use their lost baby girl’s name like it was nothing.  And it was not nothing.  “Steve?”  This was the fourth day of her reunion with her husband, and she knew by now that this expression on his face was bad for their impending lovemaking.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’,” he panted.  But his eye said everything.  Use of Emily’s name had woken him up from the drunken stupor of sexuality that never really went away from the night of that haircut.  His confusion about right and wrong was no less fuzzy, but his intentions of letting this happen if it was going to happen were now reversed.  He no longer wanted to let this happen.  He wanted to give the mother of his daughter a little more time to come home to him.

Kayla didn’t know what happened, but clearly something did, and she was desperate to undo it.  Right now.  He was still breathing hard, she felt his hardness.  She kissed his lips, which he kissed back, but not with the passion that had been there moments ago.  She moved down his neck, then suckled at the hilt of his tattoo.  It’s not that he didn’t react, clearly he was still turned on, but his heart wasn’t in it.

“Steve.”  The sound of her voice hurt him almost as much as his balls did.  “Make love to me.  Here in my bed – our bed!  Please make love to me!”

“I want to.”  He made sure he looked her in the eye when he said this, because he was sure she was not going to take this well.  “Baby,” he breathed heavily, “I want to make love to you so bad, so f*cking bad.”

“What’s stopping you?!”

“It just wouldn’t be right.”

“How can you say that?!  You’re my husband. I’m your wife!  I want you, and I know you want me, too!”

“You’re right, I do want you!”  He was just as frustrated as she was.  “Don’t you think for a minute that I don’t want you or that I don’t love you, because I do!  But … I just … need to wait!”

“Why, because I don’t remember Stockholm the way you want me to?!”

Steve was struck positively speechless.  Kayla could tell she’d hit a nerve there, and she was glad, because this rejection hurt.  Before another word could be said, Kayla’s cellphone rang. 

“You’d better get that,” he rasped.

“No.”

“What if it’s Stephanie?”

“It’s not, the school’s ring is different.”

“Just answer the f*cking phone, Kayla!”

“Fine, you want me to talk to Sam, I f*cking will!”

“Wait, no, that’s –”

“Too late!”  She pressed the button to answer before he could stop her. 

“Nice move, asshole,” he muttered to himself.  Kayla heard him and silently agreed.

“Hi Sam.”  Her tone was less than “normal.” 

“You just saw him, why would he be calling again?!” he flared, albeit in a whisper.

“Kayla – You sound weird, you ok?”

“Yes, fine.  Just a very long shift.  How are you?”

“How are you?” Steve mocked softly, further infuriating his wife and prompting her to draw the comforter up over her naked breasts. 

“Still going over the charts.  The Riley boy is not responding as quickly as he should.  I think there may be something we missed.”

“Yeah, I noticed that, too,” she replied, suddenly a lot more enthusiastic in her tone as any other time she’d talked to him.  And, boy, did Steve not like it one bit.

“When you come in on Saturday, make sure to get a blood sample from him yourself.  I’m sorry to ask.”

“He’s not sorry to ask you anything, baby,” Steve continued to mutter not quietly enough.

“I didn’t catch that, what?” Sam asked.

“Will you shut up!” she barely more than mouthed at him.  “I mean it, this is my boss!”

“Nothing!  TV,” she said.  “I’ve muted it,” she said as she kicked him in the shin.  She was truly fit to be tied, and the way she was using his crush on her against him, Steve was now just as pissed off.  Kayla yanked the comforter off of him and rolled out of the bed, wrapping it around herself.  “So, you want me instead of phlebotomy?”  Steve sidled to the other side of the bed so he wouldn’t lose Sam’s end of the conversation.  She pointed angrily for him to get back in his corner, but he mouthed, no way, getting up to follow her when she tried to move out of earshot.

“Yeah, I know it’s not standard, you’re a doctor not a tech.  But you know I’m not playing favorites when I say you’re the best stick in the entire hospital, and that boy’s veins are about done.  I don’t want to traumatize him with whomever is on and take the chance that they’ll have to fish for it.  He’s been through so much.  So, I want you to do it.”

“Of course.” 

“And I didn’t get a chance to mention, but, listen, I’ve noticed that Raj is behind on his charts.”

“Ah … is he?”

“Cut it short, Kayla, I know you’re covering his ass.”

Kayla sighed.  “He’s a kid, Sam.  Smart as a whip, but really overwhelmed.”

“Kayla, you can’t finish his charts for him.  Chief of Staff will have a cow if he catches it.  I’m not doing you any favors if I let you, so not on my watch, ok?”

“Ok. Sorry.”

Steve had to admit, this discussion did seem to be all business.  And Kayla’s compassion was at the forefront for whomever this poor boy was and in helping her colleague, not her wish to stick it to her husband.  Until the next sentence, anyway.

“It’s ok.  I won’t tell the boss.”  Kayla smiled and made a flirty sound, which Steve cleared his throat in response to.  “So, I also called to find out what your sister said.”

“Oh,” Kayla played it up real good, “darnit, ya know, I won’t be seeing her until she drops Stephanie off this afternoon.  I’ll ask her then. Promise.”

Steve’s jealousy at this blatant flirting was physical for him at this point.  He glared at her in livid silence as she glared back at him.

“I hope she can do it,” he said hopefully.

“Hmmp,” she tittered lightly, “me, too.”

“Liar,” Steve whispered.

“Ok, well, call me when you know.”

“I will,” she smiled.

“Stop it right now, godddammit,” Steve warned. He’d had enough.

“Have a good sleep.  See you Sunday.”

“Ok, bye.”

Kayla hung up, and Steve’s temper was dialed up to a million.  “What the f*ck was that, Kayla?!”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve getting all furious with me, ya know that?!”

“Don’t give me that sh*t!  I know how you really feel, you’re just trying to make me jealous!”

“Oh I’m well aware that you know how I really feel!  I’ve made it perfectly clear.  As far as making you jealous, I’m not sure why you feel you have the right!”

“I don’t believe you said that!”

“Good!  I don’t give a sh*t!”

Steve had the sheet pulled around his waist, and Kayla had the comforter covering her, but both of them still felt vulnerable.

“You sure as hell do give a sh*t, Kayla. You know I do, too, and I’m telling you right now tha tyou’re not dating him.  You’re not going on one f*cking date with him, you hear me?”

“Why?  You don’t seem to want me, maybe he will!”

They’d been circling each other since the moment she’d hung up, but now Steve was out of his mind.  He grabbed her roughly by the upper arms and shook her.  “He won’t!  You know why?! Because youre mine!”

“Oh,” she said breathily but with no less anger.  “Now I’m yours?  Really?  After throwing myself at you?!”  Her tears came quickly and started pouring down her face.  “After throwing myself at you and begging you?!”

“No!  You never have to beg me for anything!”

“Oh no?” her voice shook.  “’Cause I’ve been begging you to make love to me for four days, but all you say is no.”  Steve tried to swallow the lump in his throat.  Then in a far lower tone, Kayla added, “I don’t know how that’s me being yours or me not begging you.  And now I don’t know how to feel anything but cheap.”

Her last statement destroyed him.  “Kayla …,” he choked out.  The emotional pain he was inflicting on her was killing him.  “You are mine.  You are.”  Kayla’s eyes communicated such hurt in her silent reply, and something in Steve suddenly snapped into place.  He didn’t know if it was good, bad, or indifferent; all he knew when he looked into those incredible pools of blue was that she’d been in pain for ten years. And he was going to make it go away.  Right now.

“I’m sorry.  You could never be cheap.  Never.  I’m going to make it up to you.”

Steve drew her lips into a kiss then lifted her into his arms.  He laid her on the bed and unwrapped her from the comforter she’d cocooned herself in.  “I love you.  Tell me you know that.”

Kayla swept the tears from her cheeks and nodded.  “I do.  I just—”  She took a shuddering breath.  “Steve, did something happen to you while you were away?  Did—did someone—hurt you?”

He knew what she was getting at.  And he loved her for it.  “No, baby.”  He caressed her face and gave her a very knowing look.  “Shh.  Let me look at you.  I want to see how beautiful you are.  Can I look at you?”  She nodded and he saw for the first time just how toned her body was.  Her belly was flat with just a little roundness at her bellybutton, her thighs were toned from the constant walking through miles of hallways every week, and her calves were shapely and firm.  Steve licked gently at her breasts, kissing her wetly on the underside of one.  He moved down her belly, placing kisses down until just above her curls.  He looked at her in this broad daylight, and she was beautiful.  He knew what he desperately wanted to do.  She was his wife. And he couldn’t have her feeling this way.  “Tell me you love me, Sweetness.”

“I do, I love you.  Uuh!”  He’d latched onto her neck bathing the already purple hickey with more of his lashing tongue.  Then he shoved his thigh up against her delicate center.  “I want you wet for what I’m going to do to you.”

“I am!  You’re making me wet,” she moaned. 

The sounds coming out of her made Steve heady.  She took his erection in her hand, but Steve grabbed it away so he could take her into his arms and hold her across his lap.  He caressed the hair off her face and could see that she wasn’t convinced yet.

“It’s not right, is it?  You’re not right yet.”

“Sweetness, baby, shh.  I’m gonna show you.”

“This is not how I wanted—”

“I know, honey.” 

“I—I don’t want a—a pity f—”

Steve flared hot.  “Don’t say that!  It’s not!  God, Kayla, it’s not!  You’re my wife!”

“I know.  And I just want my husband back.”  Another tear slipped down the side of her face.  He kissed it away. 

“You have him.  Now let me show you.” 

She let out the breath she’d been holding and trusted him to take the lead and not break her heart more than it was already.  “Ok.  Show me.” 

Steve held her very firmly in his arms across his lap.  Their naked bodies screaming for each other, Steve began caressing her exposed left breast.  It was soft, and it made her turn to jelly.  The world is trying to tell us something, Sweetness.  You know what that is?”

She shook her head.  “What?” 

Steve kissed her gently  “To slow down.”  He kissed her again, his tongue sweeping into her mouth.  “That our love is strong enough to let our passion build.  He moved his hand down to her knees and parted them to stroke her inner thigh.  “It’s telling me to Learn your body.”  He straightened out her leg and kissed her calf.   “Get to know it, again.”  Then he rested it over his shoulder and inserted his middle finger into her hot core.  Kayla gasped.  “Discover how it reacts when I do things to it.”  He curled his finger gently inside of her so that he could feel her tightness – and she was very tight.  He added his thumb to put gentle pressure on her swelled clitoris, and she moaned in sexual pleasure.  “It wants me to see how long before I can make it come.”  Kayla’s responses weren’t verbal but her eyes told him all he needed to know.  That she agreed and wanted exactly what he was giving her.  “You like this don’t you?”

“Yes,” she panted.  “I—I—Oh—Don’t stop!”

“Yes, I know you do.  Wanna know how I know?”

“Tell me!”

“Because you’re so wet,” he whispered hotly into her ear.  She started to whimper in loud moans as the pressure built, and it was building very quickly.  She was helping herself along by gyrating into his fingers.  “If we take this slowly, it will be beautiful.  And right.  Because you are everything to me, Kayla.  You are my world.”  Steve pressed harder, cum leaking from his penis.  “I want you to remember that when you come apart.”

“Look at me!”  He did so, and she was gorgeous.  “I never—stopped loving you—not—for one—minute!”  It was the last thing she said before the intense orgasm ripped through her.  Lusty, erotic moans escaped her with every powerful pulse of her insides.  When she finally had the strength to open her eyes the colors around her were somehow brighter.  “You made me come.  I can’t believe it, my husband … made me come.”  Steve shifted so he could spoon with her.  It felt so good to her she almost couldn’t stand it. 

“I made love to you.  I don’t have to be inside of you to do it.  I don’t have to get off for it to be true.”  Kayla stroked her fingers over his arm that was crossed in front of her.  “That was me showing you what you mean to me. That was me loving you.”

“Yes, it was,” Kayla cooed.  “I want it for you.”

“I want it for me, too,” he leered.  “Are you on the pill?”

Kayla froze for a moment, understanding upon her.  She was a little embarrassed that birth control hadn’t entered her mind.  “No, I’m not.”

“We’ve gotta take care of that.  Unless you’ve got condoms in the house.”

“I don’t,” she shook her head.

Steve smiled.  “Well, good.  ‘Cause if you did, I’d have to rip out the throat of whomever had last used ‘em with you.” 

Kayla smiled, so content.  “I can still give it to you.”

The guilt that was destined to spread throughout Steve hadn’t hit him yet.  Right now he was just happy to give his wife succor.  “I think you want to sleep, baby, I can hear it in your voice that’s barely even still with us, here.”

“No, I … I’m awake.”  Steve chuckled, because she clearly was not.

“It’ll keep.”  Before they drifted off, Steve nudged her.  “Baby?”

“Mm?”

“From now on we have to call the cat Kitty.”

Kayla opened her eyes to slits.  “But we named her after –”

“Not anymore.  From now on.  Just Kitty.  Stephanie already knows.  Please, baby, can you do that for me?”

Kayla knew on a visceral level that this was important.  She didn’t know how she knew, but there was no question in her mind that this was critical.  Kayla licked her lips and replied with this last sentence before she fell asleep in her husband’s arms.  “Kitty got quite the show just now, you know.”

Steve smiled through the tear that formed in the corner of his eye.  “Thank you, baby.  Thank you.”

< Chapter 122

Chapter 124 >