Find Me – Chapter 153

“Wh-what?”  Every single hair on Kayla’s body was standing on end.  “T-t-two … what?”  Her body was betraying her.  All at once, heat raced up her spine in fiery shock of what Steve had just said, The physical manifestation of the news that he’d been here alone for two years while she was lost somewhere in time was too much for her body to take.  Her blood pressure bottomed out, and Kayla fainted dead away.

Steve was as prepared for this collapse as he was for the one when LA’s destination Kayla found him back from the dead.  He caught her before her eyes had even fully closed.  This young body was very strong, and he was able to sweep her up and move fast from their position under the dim lamp to his waiting car with notice from no one.

Letting go of his wife for the time it took Steve to tuck her into the front seat of his car and go around to get into the driver’s side gave him so much anxiety.  He’d grown used to Kayla not knowing he was alive.  It was a miserable existence.  He’d watched carefully for the moment she’d get there, and when she finally did take his hand in that bar and look at him with recognition in her eyes, it was enough to cause him to panic that there would be another jump before the completion of the next minute.  And that it would happen to him all over again. Or to her.  And that they’d lose each other in time.

And he was afraid. 

Steve forced himself to calm down before the friends of this Kayla’s proper existence came out after her.  He rolled down both of their windows so that he didn’t give his wife heat stroke the second she got here, then he started waking her up.  “Sweetness,” he called to her for the first time.  He held her face in the same palm as the last time he’d touched her in Copenhagen.  “Sweetness?  Come on now,” he coaxed gently.  “Wake up now, baby.”  It took a long time for her to stir, but finally she slowly blinked open her eyes.  “Sweetness … There you are.”  Steve was stroking his thumb against her cheek.  He pulled his hand back when she lifted her head, though he immediately wanted that contact back.

For several long moments, they only looked at each other in silence as the soft summer breeze blew through their bright blonde hair.  Steve was so relieved to see that recognition in her eyes again.  He’d missed it more than he could have ever known.

Kayla swallowed hard and filled the quiet of the night with her beautiful voice.  “Am I dreaming?” she asked beseechingly. 

Steve shook his head.  “July 6th 1984.”

Kayla huffed in renewed shock.  She was so stunned she couldn’t even cry, let alone find the words to reply to this.  Two years?  Two?  Years?!  Where had she been all this time?  Because to her it felt like every other jump.

`

“I-I-I-It,” she stammered.  “I was just—with you—in Copen—”

Before she could attempt to continue stringing words together Steve took her left hand and stared at it.  She watched as he held it in both of his, using his thumbs to, again, stroke her smooth skin.  Then he brought her palm to his lips, closed his eye, and dropped a soft kiss onto it.  “Sweetness …” he whispered.  “Sweetness …”

Steve was the strongest man Kayla had ever known in any time, but his vulnerability right now took her breath away.  And in that moment, Kayla knew it was she who was going to have to be the strong one.  Because the two years alone didn’t happen to her; they happened to him. 

Kayla slid herself closer to Steve across the bench seat of the 1972 Chevy Nova that was completely foreign to her, yet also clearly Steve’s.  “I’m here now,” she whispered, pushing the hair that wasn’t actually in his face this time to the side anyway.  Her heart broke when she felt him hold his breath.  “I’m so sorry I’m late,” she said gently.  Steve smiled, and she smiled back, grateful for it. 

“Traffic that bad? He asked.

“You wouldn’t believe what it was like out there on the 405,” she responded, referencing the worst highway known to man.  But then Steve dropped what little smile he’d managed and began to inspect her hand again.  “I can’t believe you’re really here.  You were gone so long.  What if this isn’t real?”

Kayla wanted to scream.  Instead she kept it together for her husband.  She lifted her hands to the sides of his face and curled her fingers into his non-existent beard while he continued to hang on to the backs of her hands.  “I’m sorry, baby,” she said again.  “I’m here now.”  She went to kiss him, but Steve backed away. 

“I’m barely keepin’ it together.  If you kiss me, I’ll lose my mind.”

Kayla tilted her head and gave him a look of tender reproach.  “No running from each other,” she reminded him. “And when I kiss you, you’re going to feel better.”  She leaned forward very slowly and brushed her soft lips gently against Steve’s left cheek where his scar peeked out from beneath his patch.  When she pulled back, Steve’s face was guarded.  Unreadable.  “I’m here now,” Kayla repeated.  “And we’re going to be ok.”

Now Steve’s eye watered.  “How do you know,” he rasped.

“Because you just told me to have courage to have faith.  And I believe in us.”

The poignant moment on Rolf’s apartment stairs happened only 20 minutes ago for Kayla.  The two-year-old conversation came roaring back into Steve, and he felt himself start to break down. 

“Do you remember when we were at the cabin right after you came back?  You broke up with me, then just minutes later when I’d given up hope, it all came back to you.  I was so scared to believe it, I couldn’t take any more pain of you being in front of me but not knowing me.  Not loving me.  That’s how it’s been hasn’t it?”  Steve nodded in painful silence.  “You said, ‘it’s me.  Your patchman.”  And I knew it was true.” 

Steve just looked at her, knowing all he had to do was reach for her and let himself have her. 

“Steve … it’s me … your Sweetness.”  The effect of her words broke through his reticence to believe in the moment, and Kayla could actually see when the flicker returned to her husband’s eye.   

Steve gathered his wife into a fierce embrace and finally let himself kiss her.  He whimpered with the feeling of her soft, warm lips on his.  The love he felt from her was immediate and true and instantly made him feel the safety he’d been without for the two longest years of his life. 

“Kayla,” he cried through their kisses.  “Hold me, baby.  Please hold on to me.”

Between Steve’s pleas and the fact of their situation tugging at her, Kayla’s resolve to stay strong was threatening to dissolve a bit.  But right now he needed her, and she’d have to face the timeline later.  So, she gave Steve what he so badly needed – her loving arms, the warmth of her body shrouding him in security, and the truth of it all in her kisses. And Steve took all of it with a greed that was needy, not selfish.

Finally, solely because they needed air, Steve allowed himself to pull his lips from hers.  He ran his hand through Kayla’s shoulder-length curls, and smiled.  “You’re right,” he said.  “I feel better.”  There wasn’t an ounce of provocative here, it was pure emotion.

“See,” she smiled.  Then she ran her finger down his patch.  It elicited the desired effect with an even broader smile and a deep breath filling his chest.  Then he leaned back in for another very gentle kiss, which Kayla returned, now feeling her own need for him.  Because she was afraid, too. 

It hadn’t been a full hour since Kayla had come into herself, but Steve finally took his wife’s hands in both of his and started talking.

“Sweetness.  I haven’t talked to you in two years.  Not really.”

“Not really?” she asked.   So, we’ve kind of talked to each other?

“Yeah,” he nodded.  “Didn’t go real well.”

Kayla swallowed.  “Why?”

“Well.  Woke up a guest of Cook County jail.  You weren’t real thrilled to keep getting collect calls from me.”  Kayla counted back two years from this point and didn’t have to think too hard about it, because the jump project was so committed to her memory that she’d remember every bit of it until the day she died.  Steve watched the gears turn in her head.

“Chicago,” she said.

Steve nodded.  “Jumped back before the time when you’d found me.  Hadn’t gotten out of lockup for the B&E.”  Kayla rubbed at her forehead.  “Got to a payphone right away.  We jumped almost together last couple times after the orphanage, so I thought you were probably right behind me.  I really thought you were.”  Then he looked down to inspect Kayla’s hands again.  “Hoped you were,” he added quietly as an afterthought.

“How many times did you try?”

“Lost count.  Got you three times, but then you started sayin’ no.”

Kayla’s face fell.  “I’m so sorry.”

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.  You’re 22-years-old and some guy you’ve never heard of calls you collect from jail in Chicago askin’ you three times if you remember Stockholm.  I scared you that last time; took it a little too far.”

“What do you mean?”

Steve leaned back against the car door folded his arms.  “Said, look, I know you don’t think you know me, but one day you’re gonna remember, so can you leave yourself a note.”  Kayla let out something between a snort and a giggle.  Steve narrowed his eye in mock offense.  “Something funny, Nurse Brady?”

Now Kayla wasn’t giggling.  “My name is Kayla Johnson.”

Steve replied with a yielding nod.  “Yes it is.”  Then he kissed the ring finger of her left hand. 

Kayla smiled again.  “I didn’t mean to laugh,” she, nevertheless, chuckled.  “But a note?”  She gave him a sideways look. 

“It was dumb, I know.”

“Not dumb, just … a real long shot.”

“Please, baby, you’re just like Mrs. H., can’t turn away a good mystery.  I said just leave yourself a note that says Steve remembers Stockholm, and leave it on your fridge.  You had some real choice words for me.  But I could hear it in your voice.  How …” he looked down in a bit of shame, “… rattled … you were.  You put on this real brave face, but you didn’t know that I knew …”  He looked back up, “… what you sound like when you’re scared.”  There was nothing Kayla could say to make this better.  Steve shook his head.  “I wasn’t gonna do it to you again.”

“I wasn’t the real me, yet,” she said.

“Didn’t matter,” he snapped.  “This you, that you, they’re all you.  I love all of the yous.  I didn’t wanna hear you scared of me again.  So, I waited for you to call me.”

“But I never did.”

Steve shook his head.  “Nope, you never did.”  Then he shrugged. 

“Please tell me you weren’t in jail long.”

“Oh, but 26th and Cal is such a vacation,” Steve jibed.  Kayla clicked her tongue.  “Four months.”  Now Kayla couldn’t help it when her eye truly did begin to sting.  Steve tipped Kayla’s chin up when she looked down at her lap.  “S’ok, baby.  I was fine.  Did my four months only one new scar, and they let me go.”

“Very funny.”

“No really, one new scar, got cut for sittin’ in the wrong chair.” 

“Well,” a surly voice came sailing into the car, “I guess if you were gonna kidnap her you would have driven away already.”  Appearing out of nowhere behind Kayla’s head through the open window, the girl named Deb ignored the fact that she’d just startled Kayla out of her skin.  She leaned her arms in through the window, and invited herself into the conversation.  “Gonna introduce me?”  It was clear to both of them that Deb was keeping an eye on her friend who had walked off with some random guy out of literally, the clear blue sky.  And in any other circumstance, there would have been appreciation for the protective friendship Deb was showing.  It was not, however, a friendship that would be making it into 2009; and right now, neither of them felt the least bit appreciative.

“Actually, no,” Kayla replied with no intention of trying to find a cover story.

“Deb, right?” Steve interjected quite smoothly.

“Uh-huh,” Deb replied.

“Steve Johnson.”

“Steve Johnson,” Deb repeated in a question formed as a statement.

“That’s me.”  He held out his hand.  Deb looked at it.

“How do you know my name?”

Steve thought about saying that he’d been following Kayla around for years and knew the names of every one of her friends better than she did at this point.  “Kayla’s told me about your little coffee klatch,” he said instead.  “Says you’re a hell of a baby nursey.”

Kayla gave a hell of a glare to Steve, clearly telling him she did not want to play.  Deb, however, was looking rather amused.  “Really,” she replied with curious skepticism, “is that what she called me, now?”

Steve chuckled, “Not quite the vernacular she used, no.”

Deb grinned a little bit, because she didn’t trust this guy, but he was funny.  “Uh-huh.  Ok, so, like, you guys are, like, together?  She’s never mentioned you.”  Then to Kayla, “You’ve never mentioned him.  I mean … there are some choice guys—” 

Kayla’s fuse was extremely short.  “Believe it or not, I don’t share every detail of my life with every person I know.  Yes, we’re together, and if you don’t mind—”

“I like her,” Steve cut in, “she’s just making sure I’m not some creep, baby.  Cut her some slack.”

Both of the women to his right gaped at him for entirely different reasons.  For her part, Deb was impressed.  She wasn’t about to apologize or anything, especially since Kayla was being pretty bitchy right now, but she was satisfied that the guy wasn’t going to violate her in his dark lair, cut her up into pieces, and dump her into Wallace Lake.  “Ok,” she grudgingly relented before Kayla bit her head off again.  “You’re not my type, but, ya know, fine I guess.”  The words were rude, but the smile on her face was clear.  He passed.

“We’re just gonna head on home, now,” Steve said, making little shooing gestures. 

“Home?” Deb and Kayla said in unison.  Deb took the hint and backed away but then threw a shocked look at her friend.  “You two live together?”

Kayla had no idea where this was leading, so she crossed her arms and looked with questioning frustration to her husband. 

“Something like that” Steve replied. 

Deb disappeared back into the bar, and Steve put the car into gear.  “So she’s a nurse?” Kayla asked.

Steve nodded.  “Work together,” he confirmed. 

“Sorry,” she said.  “I just – don’t think I remember her that well, and I just don’t want to have to figure anyone out right now.”  Kayla was relieved when the car started moving. 

Steve nodded.  “I know.”

“Wait, how are we—where do we live?” Kayla asked confused.

“You live in your same apartment,” he said, turning out of the parking lot and heading into the 25 minutes it would take to get to the building she’d lived in since moving there from Salem.  “I live in the apartment at the end of the hall.”

Kayla gaped.  “You what?  So we do know each other, then?”

“Nope.  You don’t even know I’m alive.”

Steve spent the entire ride home bringing his wife up to speed.     

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Chapter 154 >

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  1. Pingback: Find Me - Chapter 154 - Ayalla Blackwell

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