Kayla was in the kitchen when she heard Steve pad down the spiral staircase of the loft she currently shared with no one as far as the people around them knew. He looked so good in the loose pajama bottoms he’d brought over from his apartment, the sleep still in his eye as it looked at her groggily.
“Mornin’, Sweetness,” he smiled. “Welcome to Day Four.” He yawned deeply, and she watched as her husband’s hand ran over the rippling muscles of his chest.
She pressed the button on the coffee pot and walked over to him. Steve undid her robe as she leaned up to kiss him sweetly, then he pulled her body to him by the open lapels to lay her head against his tattoo. She snuggled against him and realized that she was starting to get used to their young bodies. Not just his, but her own, too. She realized she wasn’t able to be objective, but she did feel that both she and Steve had aged pretty well in the 23 years since they’d met. Even so, your 40’s and 50’s were still your 40’s and 50’s, and neither one of them looked or felt like they did in 1987. Getting to live in her own body pre-children and feel herself enveloped in his, it did feel like something special, surreal, and scary all at the same time. Now they’d been on this jump for three days, and here on the morning of their fourth, Kayla laid her head on her husband’s chest, listened to his 30’s heart beating beneath her cheek, and realized that she was used to him this way again. It made her a little sad.
Steve felt her mood slip a bit and tilted her head up. “You ok?” he asked.
Kayla took a deep breath, inhaling his very Steve scent. “I’m homesick,” she said softly. She tucked back the long hair that had fallen over his eye and felt the stubble on his cheek he’d allowed to grow there. “It’s been so long, I’m starting to get used to seeing you like this.”
“Young?”
Kayla shrugged. “Sort of. Hard to explain. Just feeling bittersweet, I guess.” Neither one mentioned Joe or Stephanie. They didn’t have to. The moment passed, and they allowed their moods to lighten again.
It had been their best jump so far. Yesterday had been spent the exact same way as the day before it, at the Emergency Center where Kayla was on the roster as the nurse practitioner on duty, and Steve managed intake and the front desk. They’d gone back to Steve’s apartment to pick up clothes after that first brave day out in the world, then spent the night at the loft with takeout from Shenanigans. They made love in front of the fireplace, then went up to sleep in their bed. It was such a wonderful feeling, being in this bed with each other again. Both of them just looked at each other and took in what they saw. It was hard to describe how they felt laying in that bed together, but like a lucid dream, they were aware of the profundity of it all.
Yesterday upon waking up to find themselves still there, they figured if it’s not broke, don’t fix it, so it was off to another day at the Emergency Center. Of course, that meant facing another day of hair and wardrobe in the 1980’s. While she refused to relent on the clothing, choosing a wide-knit pink sweater and a light wash of jeans (ugh, with pleats, why do all my pants have to have pleats?), she decided to give in with her hair and put into a French braid. It had been years and years since she’d done so, especially with her short hair, but she gave up, admitted that she loved her hair that way, and did it.
When Kayla had emerged from the bedroom, Steve’s breath caught in his throat. “Have you stepped out of a photo album, Sweetness?”
“Yep. I think it’s the same one you have,” she said, looking at him standing by the kitchen counter in his white t-shirt and black leather jacket.
Like the previous day, Kayla’s mood was light and happy the entire time they were at the Emergency Center. She couldn’t believe it, but she actually remembered two of the people that came in this day, and she found so much joy in treating them, knowing that what she was doing was making a difference in their lives. Steve saw the happiness in her eyes and was relieved that they were finally getting a break. It’s not like he was lacking in fun, either. He played his harmonica for the patients, traded insults with Dr. Brad, managed a delivery from the hospital, and snuck several kisses with his wife when they thought no one was looking. It was only when Dr. Brad yelled “get a damned room,” that they realized they were not as sneaky as they thought they were and put a lid on it for the rest of the day. Kayla blushed when she next had to face the doctor, but he was nice and didn’t rib her about it. He did, however, stick it to Steve the next chance he got.
“Think you can keep it in your pants long enough to tell me who’s next on the agenda, Johnson?”
Steve smirked. “You’re just jealous that I don’t have enough of me to save for you, Dr. Brad.”
“Riiight, right,” he came back, “not just your girlfriend, there, but the wife back at the mansion.”
“That’s right, her, too.”
“Your fly’s down, loverboy.” Steve’s hands flew to his crotch. Not only was his fly appropriately zipped, but Brad was now grinning like a fool. “Oops,” he mocked in the very tone that Steve had used to do the same thing to him, “my mistake.” Steve put his hands on his hips and smirked at him. “So, if you wouldn’t mind telling me who’s next on the agenda, I’ll be on my way so you can not so cleverly sneak off to grope your girlfriend some more.”
Steve continued smirking and handed him the chart of the same hypochondriac that Kayla had to deal with the day before and watched him run off to Room 3. “Have fun, Dr. Brad,” he muttered under his breath.
The rest of that day was much of the same. It felt so good, finally jumping somewhere that they could just live and not run, dodge, cry, or evade.
Well … they did evade slightly. While they didn’t hide, they did avoid obvious opportunities to run into people. Steve wanted to see his sister but didn’t know how to go about the fact that she hadn’t revealed herself to him in this time yet. He didn’t know if he was up to the acting job, considered just cutting to the chase and telling her, because, really, what was the difference, but ultimately decided to just wait it out.
Kayla, on other hand, desperately wanted to see her pop, and he knew it. “Baby,” he’d asked her last night after they’d eaten a dinner that Steve cooked for them just like they were back home, “if we wake up here tomorrow, I think we should go to the pub—the fish market. See your pop.”
“I … I don’t know, Steve.”
He knew she was afraid, so he treaded lightly; he really wanted to convince her to go. “Don’t you wanna see him, baby?”
“Yes,” her eyes started to water. “I just don’t know if I can handle it.”
Steve reached across the table and took her hand. “You can handle it, Sweetness. You can handle anything.”
“But what if I can’t leave? What if I can’t let him go?”
Steve decided not to push. “You think on it some more, baby. Let’s see if we’re here tomorrow first.”
Now tomorrow was upon them while they stood in the kitchen, coffee percolating, ready for a brand new day. This was the last day Kayla was on the schedule at the Emergency Center for the week, and she had to be there in an hour. Just as they were about to head up to shower and dress, a knock came at the door. They looked at each other and resigned themselves to opening it and dealing with whomever it was.
“I miss cell phones,” Kayla said.
“If we’re here in a month we’re buying stock in Motorola, baby.”
Whomever it was knocked again, and Steve joked, “my money’s on Adrienne.” Actually, he hoped it was.
Kayla slid open the door and was delighted to see her brother. “Bo!” Kayla squealed. “Get in here!” she said as she hugged him.
“Hey, sis,” he said with a wary look on his face as he saw Steve standing there in pajama bottoms and nothing else. “That’s some hello.”
Kayla tried to rein in her excitement as she watched her brother eye his best friend up and down. “I’m just happy to see my baby brother, is that ok?” She dragged him to the couch and sat facing him, grinning from ear to ear.
“Yeah, sure, sis. So,” he quickly got to the point,” Ma called me last night. Said Chris came by the fish market to have a talk with her.”
“Oh?” She looked up at Steve, who was leaning against the counter with a silly grin on his face just waiting for Bo to acknowledge him.
“Yeah, said that you and Steve were,” he paused as he looked uncomfortably at Steve with more than a little disgust in his eyes, “together. That you spent the night at his place.”
“Aw, don’t be like that, Bo, it was good enough for you and Hope, now, wasn’t it?”
“You shut up, Steve, am I talkin’ to you?”
“You love me, Beauregard, you know you do.”
“Shut the f*ck up, man.”
“Bo!” Kayla interjected, “stop it. I’m with Steve. I love him. He loves me.”
“Aw, Kayla …”
“One day you and he are going to be best friends again, so put a sock in it ok? I’m way too old for this conversation.”
Bo’s mouth hung open. “You love each other? This is a little sudden, don’t you think?”
“No, actually,” Kayla said sticking out her chin, “not to us.”
“You don’t understand, Kay, this guy is – he’s – there are things you don’t know.” The tone in her brother’s voice wasn’t the least bit convincing, and she could see that even he wasn’t so sure his heart was in this discussion.
“Baby, didn’t he and I already kiss and make up by now? I thought we did.” Bo turned and shot him a look.
“There’s very little I don’t know, Bo,” she said as she shrugged at Steve and mouthed I don’t remember. “Trust me.”
Bo looked at the two of them and got a very weird feeling that he was at an enormous disadvantage. He didn’t have a clue why, but something was just plain off, and he was the one who felt like he didn’t belong.
“Is there something going on here? What are you two talking about?”
“Nothing,” Kayla said, “we’re just happy to see you.”
Bo softened a bit. “We?”
“Yeah,” Steve replied. “We.”
“Ok, look,” Bo said as he stood up and headed for the door, “I’ve gotta get back to Hope.” This was not what he was expecting. He was expecting a big confrontation, but now that he wasn’t getting one, the whole thing seemed kind of pointless.
“Wait … it’s 1987 …,” Kayla said.
“Yeah …,” Bo said feeling things get even weirder with her statement of the obvious.
“Shawn-D,” she whispered to Steve. “Is he born yet? I’d love to see him.”
“Kayla,” Steve warned, “Shh.”
“Kay, what the hell are you talking about?”
She closed her eyes and knew this just wasn’t the time. She wasn’t even sure the baby was born yet, and asking was going to make her look nuts. “Ah … nothing. Sorry, I’m not myself.”
“Finally, something that makes sense,” Bo muttered.
“Sorry, just – tell Mama I’m fine, ok?” Then she hugged him and kissed his cheek.
“Tell her yourself, sis, I just came over to – I don’t really know why I came over, you … it’s fine.”
“It is?”
“Yeah, Hope’s been nagging me that you two were made for each other for months. Told me to come over and see for myself.” He looked at Steve who went back to grinning, but this one wasn’t smarmy, it was warm and seemed … genuine. “So, whatever.” Then he looked at Steve and said, “Don’t be a jerk.”
Steve then put his hands on Bo’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug.
“Get off me, man! And put a shirt on!”
Steve laughed heavily and heartily and Kayla looked on with amusement as Bo backed out of the loft and smiled despite himself.
As soon as he left, Steve looked at Kayla and said, “Kosichek has a big mouth.”
Kayla stood up and licked her bottom lip. “Isn’t that what you wanted? For everyone to know?”
“Well, I didn’t know he was gonna go and tattle to your parents.”
“I don’t care who he goes and tattles to. I would have given anything to be with you back then.”
Steve cupped her face in his hand. “I would have, too, baby. We kind of were, weren’t we?”
“On and off. You kept backing away.”
He pulled her into a warm embrace. “Yeah, I did. Idiot.”
“No,” she looked up at him. “Scared. You were scared of hurting me, of being hurt.”
“You were the first love I ever got that didn’t hurt, Sweetness. I wouldn’t have had any family if it wasn’t for you. I never would have let my sister in if you hadn’t pushed so hard to make me see that family was worth having.”
Kayla held him tighter, and Steve suddenly felt the same wave of homesickness that Kayla had felt earlier. He wanted to go home. He was home, standing in the kitchen of the loft with her, this felt so much like home, but it wasn’t his time. And he fiercely missed his kids.
At 9:00, Steve and Kayla entered the Emergency Center to find Dr. Curtis setting up for the day, “Well, Kayla!” the silver-haired doctor she hadn’t seen in 20 years greeted her, “looks like we’re a team today.”
“Neil!” she said taken a bit by surprise. It felt so good to see him. Almost like a comfort. She’d always trusted him and knew that he was an ally not only to her but to Steve, as well.
“I see you brought backup with you, hello, Steve.”
“Hey, doc,” Steve smiled.
“I hear from a mutual acquaintance that you’ve become quite the volunteer around here.”
Steve was a bit nervous. He cared what Dr. Curtis thought about him. Even back when he didn’t care what anyone thought, he was different for some reason. He did some quick thinking to be sure he didn’t say the wrong thing. This was before the senator’s shooting and all that Jencon stuff … and his mother wasn’t here yet, either.
“Yeah, I try to keep it interesting around here. Don’t let that Dr. Brad convince you otherwise.”
“Dr. Brad?” Neil laughed. “I like that, I think I’ll tell him to keep that. No, he spoke very highly of you, actually. Says you know your way around difficult people.”
“Oh, did he now?” Kayla grinned. “Hmm, imagine that.”
“So,” Neil said, “Are you going to stick around today, too? Or do I have to find another volunteer?”
Just then the door opened and Adrienne walked in. She froze when she saw Steve standing there. She’d hoped he hadn’t gone back to hating her in the last three days since he’d started being nice to her back at Kayla’s place and tentatively said hello.
“Well now,” Neil said, “It looks like we’ve got a run on the bank of volunteers! Well, I’ll let you two figure it out, I’ll go get things ready in back. Kayla, why don’t you join me.”
“Join you? Ah …,” she looked to Steve for direction. Did he want to be left alone with Adrienne or did he need her to stay.”
“Yeah, come on back.”
“Yeah,” Steve said, “you go on and help Dr. Curtis. I think we can handle things out here.”
“We can?” Adrienne asked hopefully.
Steve’s heart filled with love for his sister as he watched her try to keep the adoration from her eyes. “Sure, baby. We’ll be just fine.”
“Great! That’s great!” she barely contained her enthusiasm.
“Ok,” Kayla smiled at her husband. She turned to look in the direction Neil had just gone and gave Steve a quick peck on the cheek. “Love you,” she whispered.
Steve squeezed her hand and watched her go to join Neil. When he looked at Adrienne, she was staring at him. He didn’t know what to say to her.
“I didn’t know you’d be here / “How are you doin’?” Adrienne and Steve said simultaneously.
“Sorry! / Go ahead,” they tried again.
Steve silently held out a hand to her that she continue, and she said, “No, no, you go!”
My poor sister. I’m surprised she didn’t get an ulcer from all this.
“How are you doin’, baby? Things ok?”
“Yeah. Yeah, they’re great. They’re great.”
“Where are you livin’ now? Haven’t seen you at Kayla’s.”
“You’ve been at Kayla’s?”
Steve wasn’t sure where to go with this, but keeping track of what he should and shouldn’t say to his sister was hard enough, so he took the easy route on Kayla. “Yeah, we’re together.” He scratched his head and tried to act aloof.
“I’m glad, I’m real glad, Steve.” The smile on her face was impossible for him to ignore. He didn’t know it at the time, but now he saw what was there in her just beneath the surface. Desperation to find her brother. An adoration for him that never waned from the moment she’d laid eyes on him. And he saw so much of his mother in her. He wanted so badly to reach out and hug her, tell her it was all going to be ok and that he was there now. Why can’t I? he asked himself. Why can’t I help her now, why do I have to wait for Duke to come to town and do the unspeakable things that he did to her? An image of Jack rushed into his head, and he shook it to clear it out the negative thought as quickly as it had come.
“Steve, are you ok?”
Steve nodded, then struggled to find something innocuous to talk about. “Yeah, fine,” he answered mildly. “What, uh, so what are you doin’ down here?”
“Well, I haven’t been feeling well the last couple of days, so I didn’t come in. I’m feeling better now, though and really wanted to get out of the apartment for a while.”
“Oh right, you were robbed. You run into any more problems with people breaking into your place?”
“No. No, I just need to get my phone turned back on and it’ll be fine.”
“Turned back on? Why’s it off?”
“Well, uh, the um … the …,” she stammered, “the bill was kind of high this month and all. I don’t really need a phone.”
Dammit.
“You need a phone, Adrienne. Everyone needs a phone.”
“Well, I just need a job, then I’ll be able to pay the bill.”
“So then how are you paying your rent?”
“What’s with the third degree, huh?” she balked.
He could tell he was spooking her, so he backed off. “I just meant this place isn’t exactly paying you.”
“I’m cramping your style again, I get it. I don’t wanna invade your territory, you can have the volunteer job, it’s ok.”
“Naw, baby, that’s not …” Adrienne turned on her heel to go out, but Steve stopped her as a junkie clearly needing some methodone walked in. “You – there,” he gestured to the chair right next to the desk; he was all business with the heroin addict, “I’ll be with you in a minute, don’t you get up from that spot.” Then he turned back to Adrienne. “Look, there’s no one living at my place right now. Rent’s all paid up, it’s only the beginning of February, you’ve got all month. I’m living with Kayla right now. Why don’t you stay there.”
Adrienne glared at him. “What?”
“My place, just stay there, and there’s a phone so your ma—so you can get phone calls.”
Adrienne’s top lip was a firm line of distrust. “Why? Why you wanna do that for me, huh? You don’t even like me.”
“Baby, I like you fine.”
“You’re lying! Why can’t you just give me a chance, you don’t even know me!”
“I think that’s what I’m doin’, baby, giving you a chance.”
“Why?” she asked again.
Steve didn’t remember it until just now, but his mother came to town right around Valentine’s Day. She was going to need a place to stay, too. Where Duke won’t find them this time.
“Because someone needs to give you a break. The place is sittin’ there paid for. You gu—you find a job that pays you real money by the end of the month, and we’ll talk.”
Adrienne’s eyes began to shine with tears. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
She threw herself at her brother and hugged him. Steve felt her bury her face in his shoulder, and he hugged her back. “Thank you, Steve!” she cried. “Thank you! You won’t regret it! I’ll take care of it! I’ll even clean it up for you!”
“You know it’s just one room, right?”
“I’m a good cleaner, I’ll make it shine!”
“Ok, baby, ok.” She hugged him again, because he didn’t push her away the first time, and she cried more happy tears. “Shh, come on now. Come on,” he coaxed.
Adrienne pulled herself away, wiped her face with the palms of her hands, smiled at Steve one more time, then fled to move herself into her brother’s apartment.
Steve watched through the window and smiled as she hurried away. Then he remembered the addict sitting in the corner, who’d stopped bouncing with withdrawal long enough to fix him with a curious stare. “Family reunion?” he asked.
“Something like that,” he laughed.
The rest of the day went on much like the two before it. Kayla was in her element. She caught up with Neil, which for her was years but as far as he knew was just the previous weekend. He told her all about Noelle’s latest milestones and shared a bit of Liz’s difficulty in coping with her brother, Tod’s, death. Kayla didn’t really remember much about that and had to pull some of this from her memory; she was relieved when he mentioned Noelle by name, because she’d forgotten the little girl’s name long ago. What really struck her was the easy and non-judgmental manner he used in asking how it was going with Steve. He didn’t question her, he didn’t give her any fatherly advice, he just turned a kind eye on her and said it was nice to see her so happy. She so enjoyed the social interaction with the man who was such a good friend to her once that she almost forgot that this wasn’t really her time.
Steve continued to charm every single person who walked through the door. He managed the intake, counseled a stream of callers with first aid needs, and restocked the center with the supplies that had been delivered the day before. Dr. Brad even called once to set his schedule for the following week, and Steve enjoyed a friendly tousle with him, trying to get the biggest rise out of him he could.
“Dr. Brad, you’re gonna want to make sure our schedules overlap now, because my dance card is beginning to fill up.”
“Spare me, Johnson, I’m surprised you have time to man the desk at all with all that time you spend playing doctor.”
“See, I knew you were jealous.
Interestingly, the fear of jumping never crossed either of their minds. They both had kept themselves so busy with the everyday routine of these destination bodies – slightly modified by the actions of their current awarenesses – that they really did forget that they might jump at any time. It wasn’t until they closed up and Neil booted them out the door after their last long day of the week that they realized they were at the end of Day 4 of this jump. They hadn’t really planned this far ahead and weren’t sure what to do now. Especially since he’d just, basically, sublet his apartment.
“You had a good day, today, Sweetness. I could see it in your face every time you snuck out to see me.” The short walk to the bluesmobile was cold, and they could see the fog starting to roll in off the riverfront.
“I didn’t sneak out to see you!” she denied with a playful push, her voice showing in gauzy, white breaths against the frigid air.
“Get over here, woman.” He brought her hand back to the crook of his arm, and he kissed her temple.
“I did have a good day. It was wonderful. I loved this job. And seeing Neil was wonderful, too.” Steve had already told her how it went with his sister earlier in the day. Now in the beautiful dark of the riverfront, she saw the peace still on his face and knew his decision about how to interact with Adrienne was the right one. “So, what do you want to do tonight?” she asked.
They’d just arrived at the car. He backed her up against it and rubbed up against her as he found the spot on her neck that would get him the sweet little whimper he was looking for. She delivered and he smiled.
“What else do you want to do, Mr. Johnson?”
“What, that’s not enough?”
Kayla reached down and stroked him through his jeans. Steve’s eye went wide, and he looked back and forth thinking for sure someone must have seen this display.
“Oh, it’s more than enough,” she said. But we’ve been here for four days, maybe we should go do something.”
“You’re a bad girl, Kayla.” He grabbed her hand and held it. “Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to run into anyone?”
“I still don’t,” she said. “But it’s been four days, so I’m trying.”
“That’s my girl, Sweetness,” kissing her lightly on the lips. “You know what I wanna do, baby? I wanna shoot some pool. Let’s go to the Heart.”
“Really? You want to hustle a game of pool?”
“I don’t need to hustle it, I just wanna play. Come on, baby. Remember that game with the kisses? I think you still owe me a few.”
“That’s right! I’d forgotten all about that. I think you cheated.”
“You complaining?”
“Nope.”
They left the car where it was and headed down the Riverfront to the Cheatin’ Heart. They held hands, enjoyed the cold air, and took in the storefronts that neither of them had seen in decades.
“The whole place is so different now,” Kayla said wistfully. Steve got more excited with each footstep closer to the dive bar that he’d once felt so at home in. As soon as the fishmarket came into view, however, Kayla, began doing the opposite. He could feel her entire body tense up. He watched her look over toward the home she grew up in and knew exactly what was going on.
Steve stopped and brought her fingers up to his lips. “You wanna go see your pop,” he said to her.
Kayla nodded as tears pooled in the rims of her eyes. “Yeah, I do.”
Steve smiled. “Then go see your pop.” He could see she was relenting.
“Can we do that first?”
“No, this is something you should do on your own.”
“Without you?” she said standing up straighter.
“I’ll be waiting at the Heart for you.”
“No! No, what if we jump?” It was the first time they’d mentioned it in at least two days. “That’s more than just the Emergency Center, Steve, that’s two whole different locations. I don’t want to do that.”
“Kayla, I’ll be right there at the Heart waiting for you. In fact, I’ll come get you. I can say I came to see Max or something. Wait – Kosichek already told ‘em, so I don’t even need an excuse.”
Kayla tried not to panic. “No, I’m scared, Steve. I don’t want to separate. Aren’t you scared?”
“Yeah, I am, baby. But we haven’t jumped yet.” He paused and was relieved when he saw Kayla thinking it through rather than immediately fight him on it. “And we don’t know when that’s gonna be.”
“I miss him,” she said softly. He held her face in his hands and kissed the tears away that were gently rolling down her cheeks.
“You need alone time with your pop. They don’t know we’re married, they don’t know they love me yet.”
“They do, ya know.”
Steve chuckled. “They will. Not today. Today they sort of accept me ‘cause of Max and Frankie. I don’t want to take a minute away from you, baby. Not a minute wasted on them wondering what the hell you’re doing with a guy like me. They don’t know me, yet, Sweetness. This is a gift, Kayla. Take it.”
Kayla was torn, but the truth was that with every passing moment, she was more and more desperate to see her father. The honorable man that gave so much of himself to his children every day that in the end he gave up his own life so that they could live. “You – you’ll be right there? At the bar?”
“Right there waiting for you. In fact, why don’t I come get you. Text me when you’re ready.” Kayla laughed through her tears. “Scratch that,” he laughed with her. I’m gonna hustle a few rounds for rent money for Adrienne and mama. Have some chili. You have your mama’s chowder. I’ll come get you at 9:00.”
“That long? That’s more than three hours.”
“We can do this, Kayla. We have to be able to do this.”
Kayla nodded and smiled at him. “I love you so much.” He kissed her, and she licked her lips, enjoying the taste of him. “You can’t know how much.”
“I love you more,” he started their familiar banter.
“Oh, I doubt that,” she cried.
“Come on, I’m gonna walk you over.”
“But The Cheatin’ Heart is right there.”
“I said I’m gonna walk you over,” he repeated leaving no room for discussion.
When he left her at the door he nodded and said, “9:00.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too. Don’t leave without me,” Steve winked.
“I’ll try.” She wiped her face, straightened up, turned the handle, and disappeared inside.
Only when she was gone did Steve finally let his face twist into the worry and fear he truly felt. “We’re really doin’ this,” he said to himself. “Now go play pool, you idiot.” He stood there for ten full minutes before he finally forced his legs to walk away and head to the dive bar, unsure of whether or not they’d make it to 9:00 before a new jump took them.