“Jack, please, will you stop fussing over me.”
“No, Kayla, I won’t. You’ve been through a traumatic ordeal, and I’m going to make damn sure you get the very best of care.”
“I’m a nurse, Jack,” she said with barely restrained annoyance. “At this very hospital. I think I know the care I’m getting, so please.
Jack sat in the chair at Kayla’s bedside at University Hospital and tried to hold her hand, but she kept yanking it away and looking out the window of her hospital room door.
“Are you mad at me, Kayla? Did I do something wrong?”
Kayla shot him a look of like she couldn’t be bothered. And that’s because she couldn’t. “Jack, I’m not mad at you, I’m just waiting for Steve.” And also trying to ensure that the opening in the back of her hospital gown was safely obscured against the back of her bed.
It had been an absolute whirlwind of activity the moment she and Steve had been brought out through that hole. They’d been awakened by the sound of rescuers clearing debris, and Steve had made sure they were found again. Just before the rope was lowered down to them, they looked at each other with a knowing sense of dread. They knew they would be rescued, that was never actually a question. But now that they’d found their way out of the darkness that had consumed them on their most recent jumps, both of them felt … delicate. And somewhat uneasy with separation at this point. They were stuck in these bodies at this time, so being treated for their injuries was unavoidable. But the timing felt like an intrusion. Laying closely with each other, even in the thinning air, was a healing act. Their painful discussion about her life after Steve’s presumed death was like a balm on an open wound, and being together was the bandage ensuring that the wound healed. The separation of rescue left their wound open to the elements.
“No, Jack, I’m not mad at you,” Kayla said rather unconvincingly.
“You sure about that? You’re acting like you’d rather I wasn’t here.”
Kayla leveled the first really honest expression of this jump upon him. “Ok, yeah, Jack, I am mad. I’ve asked you to please go. I’m fine here.”
“I care about you, Kayla. I don’t think you’re in any condition to be left alone.”
Kayla felt the years she had on him like a weight upon her shoulders. The woman inside this body was so much older and wiser than this Jack sitting next to her. She knew so much more about him and the people around her, and hearing him talk to her like he knew so much better was infuriating.
“Jack,” she said with her patience near its end, “it’s bad enough that Steve and I had to ride here in separate ambulances, now no one will tell me how he is or let me check on him, and all you’re doing is making it worse.”
“I’m sure he’s fine, Kayla.”
“Well, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get up and check on him myself.” She gestured for him to leave, but he stood his ground.
“As a matter of fact, I do mind. You’re not going anywhere.”
And that was the end of her fuse. “Jack, I want you to go!” she yelled. Jack was taken aback. She’d never yelled at him before. “I mean, it, go! I can’t get out of this bed until you do, I’m a nurse, I’m fine. I love Steve, start getting used to that, because it’s not going to change! Now, I’ve been through a lot more than you know, so I’m not going to tell you again. Please just leave!” Jack looked wounded, but Kayla didn’t care.
It was exactly what Kayla was afraid would happen. A whole slew of people led by Jack had found them down beneath the rubble, just like last time. And just like last time, Mike and Roman were barking orders, Kim and Shane looked on and lent a hand, Jo and Adrienne fussed and fawned over Steve when he’d been lifted out, Jack obsessed over Kayla’s well-being, Neil followed after Jack waiting for his Hotchkins disease to cause him to collapse, and Harper made very sure to tell all the reporters just how much of a hero Jack was.
Unlike before, however, Steve didn’t watch from the wings. He didn’t keep his distance this time. He was with her, holding her hand, acting like the husband no one realized he actually was, listening as the paramedics worked on her, all while shooing away the ones trying to work on him. This meant that Harper had a much harder time getting the reporters to focus on Jack the hero when they had this mysterious guy emerging from the wreckage like he’s Thor, refusing to leave the senator’s son’s nurse’s side, and holding on to her like they were married or something. And was that a kiss? Did he just kiss her?
He did. Only the EMTs and massive throng of friends and family that had come to lend their support showed it a little too well for this second run through, because Steve and Kayla were entirely different people with different things happening beneath the surface that these people couldn’t possibly understand. Interestingly, Shane’s presence didn’t even register on Steve’s radar, he was too busy trying not to separate from Kayla; and besides, the reporters were really quite good at monopolizing their attention. Love Beneath the Rubble. Now that was a story. Then before either of them could protest, Kayla was whisked away, and Steve was treated separately.
“I’ll find you, Kayla,” his green eye riveted on her before they dragged him from beside her gurney.
“Promise me, Steve.”
He knew she was insecure about everything that had happened. And the truth was so was he. “Don’t worry, I’m not leaving that hospital without you. Just let them treat you, and I’ll find you, Sweetness, I promise.”
“Or I’ll find you,” she smiled. “Kind of like last time.”
“This isn’t last time, Sweetness,” he said in no uncertain terms.
“Kayla, what is he talking about,” Jack said as he tried to take her hand. Kayla saw Steve eye his brother as she removed her hand from his grasp.
“Sir, please, you need to come with us right now,” the petite EMT said to him as she began dragging him away.
“Remember what I said to you down there,” Steve called out to her as his EMT extricated him from Kayla’s ambulance door. “Don’t you doubt me.” Kayla nodded. Steve signed I love you, and she signed it back as they closed the doors and the ambulance disappeared down the street.
Now it was four hours later, and Kayla lay in the exact same hospital room as she’d been assigned the first time trying to convince Jack to leave so that she could avoid exposing herself to him in nothing more than her hospital gown.
Kayla was feeling anxious as the IV antibiotic for her infection dripped into her. She’d declined the sedative, though Mike Horton wasn’t thrilled about that, and now she just wanted to get up out of the bed and go find her husband.
Jack tried not to react to Kayla’s verbal assault, but she could see that that last exchange had gotten to him. “I don’t know what you see in the guy, Kayla,” he said with growing agitation. “He’s always upsetting you.”
“Steve took care of me down there. He’s kept me alive more times than I can count now.”
“Yeah, well, he doesn’t have any idea what’s best for you.”
“You’re one to talk.”
“What?“ Jack didn’t know where that came from. But he was a tenacious man. He sat down next to her right there on her bed and practically engulfed her as he encircled her shoulders with his arm. Kayla recoiled. She didn’t want him touching her. She’d gone as far as she could in forgiving him and in 2009 their relationship was civil, and without issue. But being touched by him, brought into an embrace? Far too much for her liking.
“Jack, please don’t!” she raised her voice as she wiggled out of his hold.
The next thing she knew, Jack was being physically lifted away from Kayla. And the person doing the lifting was Steve.
“What the hell?!” Jack yelled as Steve let his lapels go.
“Kayla said no, Junior. Didn’t you ever listen? Didn’t you ever hear when a woman says no?”
That was a very loaded statement Steve made, and Jack didn’t like the sound of it at all.
“I don’t know what you think you’re talking about, Steve, but you don’t have any rights here!”
“I don’t have any rights? And who are you, exactly? Now you listen to me, Jack, ‘cause I’m only gonna say this once. Kayla and I are together. You don’t have to like it,” he spat. “Now get out.”
Despite the large bandage on his cheek and the very non-threatening, green hospital scrubs Steve was now wearing, Jack could see that he was ready for a fight. He looked to Kayla, but she wasn’t in his corner.
“Go home, Jack,” Steve said softly. “Thank you for rescuing us. But … it’s time to go.”
Without another word, Jack straightened his shirt, looked at Steve with disgust, and left.
Kayla was so relieved when Steve turned toward her. His hair was damp, and he looked … so good. “It’s been hours, Steve, I was worried. Are you ok?”
“Told you I’d find you, didn’t I?” He sat down in the chair Jack had just vacated and stared at his wife, who was examining him carefully. He pointed to the bandage above her eye. “Stitches?”
“No,” she shook her head. “It’s not bad. What about you,” she asked, “are you in pain?”
Steve shook his head. “Nothing a little pill couldn’t fix.” Steve eyed the IV hanging beside her. “Probably giving you something a little stronger.”
“Shot of Demerol. That’s just an antibiotic,” she said gesturing toward the IV. Kayla hated this. She hated how awkward they felt around one another. They’d somehow taken a few steps back from the closeness they had in each others’ arms just a few short hours ago. “Scrubs, huh?”
“Yeah,” he said running his hand through his drying hair. “Found me a shower before they released me.”
“So you’re signed out?”
“Yeah, Mama and Adrienne just left. They were all over me,” he chuckled.
“Of course,” she smiled.
“Of course,” he repeated.
“I’m glad they were there for you.”
“Me, too,” he said. If this were really back then he never would have said that out loud. But her Steve of 2009 didn’t have any problems letting his mother and sister love him. “They told me where to find you before they left.”
“How did they know?”
Steve grinned. “Adrienne always was a pretty resourceful girl.” Kayla nodded and smiled knowingly. Neither one of them knew what to do with the silence that followed. Steve didn’t know why he felt so apprehensive to touch her. It was like that wall of uncertainty after their first jump. “Mike told me you’re gonna be here at least overnight,” he finally said. “That’s how it went last time, right?”
Kayla nodded. “I think two total. I don’t really remember that detail anymore.”
Steve wanted to hold her. He wanted to feel her in his arms and feel the absolute truth in her love for him. He knew she loved him, it’s not that he doubted it. He just needed to feel it in their touch. Before he knew it he’d stood up and pulled aside the blanket to get into bed with her, kicking his shoes off before he pulled the blanket back over them both. He pulled her against him and kissed her gingerly as she lay her hand with the securely-taped IV on his shoulder. Kayla sighed into his kiss. She had sensed that wall, too, but now feeling him on her lips had made it dissolve away. Mostly. Steve’s arms were warm and strong, and her heart beat faster from his touch.
“Are we ok?” Kayla asked, breaking from their kiss, the hope in her voice breaking Steve’s heart a little bit.
Steve ran a knuckle down her cheek and nodded. “We could never not be ok, Kayla.”
She looked into his bright green eye. “I think we gave ‘ok’ a run for its money back there,” she said honestly. “I can’t remember a time I ever felt more unsure of us.”
“Don’t say that, Kayla! Don’t ever say that.” He didn’t raise his voice, but the severity of his tone was unmistakable.
“I damaged us,” she whispered.
“No,” Steve shook his head as he swallowed the lump that had jumped into his throat. Then Steve kissed her again, so gently, so beautifully.
Kayla pulled her lips from his and ran her fingertips very softly against his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she said.
Steve shook his head. “Don’t. No more, baby. No more ‘I’m sorrys.’ I know you are.” Then he tucked her own freshly washed blonde hair behind her ear. “I am, too,” he said simply.
“No—“
“I took it hard. I took it really hard, Sweetness.”
“I hurt you.” There were no tears. But her voice was thick with emotion. Steve looked up and away from her like he always did when he didn’t want to acknowledge the truth but wouldn’t lie to her, either. She palmed his face back to look at her and searched his eyes for forgiveness. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I should have trusted you.”
“I was terrible to you, Kayla. I said things I – didn’t mean. Coming off that hellhole of a prison and seeing you on that pier –“
Kayla suddenly panicked and grabbed Steve’s wrist. She turned it over and over.
“Honey, that was two or three jumps ago, this is 1987, remember?”
Kayla shook the memory of his red, raw wrists away. “Ugh, the jumps are blending in my head.
“No scars, see? No scars, that’s four years from now.”
Kayla layed her head on Steve’s chest as he stroked her hair. “You escaped from that to see me kissing Shane, I understand why you reacted the way you did. I’m just so sorry.”
“But Kayla, I’m sorry, too. I was insane with jealousy and anger, and I’m hurting.”
Kayla looked up at him. “You were angry, but you are hurting. So you still hurt.”
Why did she have to be so damn perceptive? Yes, he was hurting. That wasn’t going away so easily. It didn’t mean it never would. He exhaled heavily.
“I guess I do, yeah.” Kayla’s eyes watered, and Steve felt her heart break. “But, baby, I promise you, we’re gonna be ok. We’re gonna get over it, ok? Look how far we’ve already come.”
“But … your father.”
“Got what he deserved, Kayla,” he said without hesitation, “he’s a sick bastard.” Steve knew where she was going with this in her head – that she’s the one who made him kill Duke. He had to set her straight right now, he was not going to let her feel guilty about this. Those actions were his, no matter what led him to them they were his, and he alone would own them. He wanted to own them. “Baby, I admit that I probably did what I did because of what happened with us on that pier, but it was probably gonna happen anyway. We were going to jump there whether I’d seen you on the pier with Shane or not. I admit I didn’t think it through, but who knows what would have happened? I love you no matter what, and the way he was looking at you … and Adrienne was out there …”
“You asked me if I could live with it, and I meant it when I said yes.”
“And so did I, so I don’t want you worrying that any of that was your fault.” Steve held her tighter. “I forgive you. Please forgive me, too.”
Kayla nodded. “I love you,” she said.
“I love you, too, Sweetness. I love you, too.”
“But the hurt. I want the hurt inside you to go away, too.”
So did he. “It will. Give it time, baby, it will.”
Steve wanted to make love to her. He wanted to feel the deep connection to her that he always got when he was wrapped tightly inside of her warm home. That wasn’t possible right now, though, so he found it another way instead. Steve took her left hand in his, careful not to jostle the IV. Then he kissed her ring finger where her engagement ring and wedding band rightfully belonged. He let his lips linger there of several seconds. “I do, Kayla. For better or worse and all the other things I’ve ever vowed to you, I do.”
“Steve,” she whispered. Then he kissed her ring finger again. “I do, too,” she smiled, then did the same thing with his ring finger.
“We haven’t done that in a few jumps, have we?”
“No. I’m so glad we did. Thank you. I didn’t realize how much I needed to do that until just now.”
“Oh, baby,” he said with a deep, cleansing sigh. “You were passed out when I got there. It all came at me how bad it was. You said something down there, and it just made me start talkin’. Started letting out how mad I was”
“What did I say?”
“You asked if I’d really said I love you or if you were dreaming. You hadn’t arrived yet, it was the other you.”
Kayla chuckled. “Oh, I remember that. I’ll never forget it. It was the first time you’d said it, and when I heard it, I really didn’t know if I was making it up in my head or not. Well, second, actually.”
“Second?”
“You’d said you loved me once before. In your apartment. You were mad at me then, too.”
That statement got to him. “Kayla, people say all kinds of things when they think they’re gonna die. Things they’re worried they’ll never get another chance to say. I had to tell you back then, I was so scared you weren’t gonna make it. And … I remembered that feeling this time, and it made me … it …” Steve was getting choked up. Then he swallowed it down and lifted her chin to look at him. “We are ok, baby. I’m not gonna lie, there’s pain. But you’re my wife. I’m your husband. And we’ll get through this.” Kayla pulled him into another kiss, and this one he deepened despite himself, he wanted to feel her as deeply as he could. Finally, they broke, and held each other as they started to doze. Kayla hadn’t really fallen asleep, but she was drowsy as Steve’s measured breathing lulled her. Which is why she did a double take when the nurse came into the room to check her vitals. It wasn’t the older woman’s reaction to finding Steve in her patient’s bed; it was the fact that Ed Daniels was loitering outside of Kayla’s room. This was a man she hadn’t seen or thought of in so long that she couldn’t actually call up his name in her memory, but his face was a lock. She knew exactly who he was. She used both Steve’s prone body and that of the upright nurse taking Kayla’s blood pressure as she smiled at the couple below her to obscure her gaze from the turned FBI man’s view. But there was no doubt about it, he was there. On the payphone that was, apparently, right outside her room. Reporting to whomever was on the other end. Watching them.