Steve had no idea where he was supposed to go. His instinct was to go home – to run home as fast as his feet could take him. Unfortunately, home was too far to go to on foot, and he wasn’t exactly feeling well. His ribs were aching, and his head was starting to feel fuzzy.
I just left a man to die. He is going to die, and I killed him. “That’s two,” Steve whispered aloud, then shook it away.
He had run out of the parking structure and into the night where the last of the suns rays had just dipped below the milky October horizon, and the pinpricks of stars were struggling to be seen in the darkened sky. He was winded and leaned over, resting his elbows upon his thighs as he struggled to catch his breath. This wasn’t going to work. He had to call someone to get him. And just what are you gonna say, dude, hey, it’s me, Steve, I’m not really dead, can I have a ride home? No, that wasn’t going to do anything but put the person on the other end into shock. He couldn’t take a cab, because he had no money. So, his best choice was to fall back on skills that came second nature to him and hotwire a car. He’d drive himself home, that was the only way. So, he walked back into the parking garage and started trying doors. It didn’t take long to find a late ‘80’s model Oldsmobile that opened for him.
That’s when he saw it. The Bluesmobile. Sitting in the parking lot right where Kayla must have parked it. He could see Stephanie’s carseat strapped into it through the back window. He was some distance away, but that black car, old even then, was right there. The memory of it washed over him with such ferocity it nearly bowled him over. The desire to just get in his own car – the same car that now sat in front of his apartment in 2009 – was strong. He leaned against the blue car he’d had the intention of hotwiring and took a deep breath. And before he could really get his wits about him to decide one way or the other, his decision was made for him when he saw Kayla.
“Baby?”
His wife was approaching their car. And she was a mess. Her eyes were so puffy that he could see them from even this distance. Her ponytail was hanging at a sideways angle, the strands had come out of their elastic, and her face was nothing short of ashen. This wasn’t his Kayla, she was still the one of this destination. How long had it been since she left his deathbed? He’d lost all track of time, and for all he knew it had only been an hour and not the several it felt like. She must have been just now leaving the hospital to go home.
She doesn’t go home.
“That’s right, you didn’t go home, Sweetness,” Steve whispered to himself. He wanted to go to her so badly. There was nothing he needed more right now than to hold her. But he held back. Because this was 1990 Kayla. This was the Kayla that had just watched her husband die in her arms. This was the woman that held him for God-knows how long, unable to tear herself away. If he came at her out from the shadows he didn’t know how she’d react.
He balanced on the cusp of going to her and staying hidden, unsure which path he’d follow. He watched her put her key into the door and unlock it as if she were on automatic. She opened the door and stood there in complete stillness for a moment. She’d closed her eyes as she gripped the roof of the car. My God, she was so lost. He could see that she was just adrift in grief. He knew he could go to her and show her he was ok, but something stopped him. The knowledge that she wasn’t his Kayla yet gave him pause, and by the time he’d decided that he didn’t care and that he had to go to her, it was too late. He’d waited too long, and before he knew it she’d gotten in the car, started it, and had begun pulling out of the garage. Where did you go? The only thing he could do was follow her.
Steve slipped into the Olds and yanked down the wiring. Some things just don’t go away, and he could have hotwired this car in his sleep. Which is practically what he’d done, his head was in such a daze. He felt the smoothly grooved surface of the pedals beneath his bare feet and saw the taillights of the Bluesmobile a block ahead of him. He didn’t care where she was going, he’d be following behind her, waiting for his Kayla to arrive. His head started feeling fuzzy, though, and he wondered if the drug Hopkins had injected him with was doing something to him after all. He went to adjust his patch and cursed when it wasn’t there.
When Kayla unexpectedly turned left onto Water Street instead of going straight ahead toward their house, he knew exactly where she was going and smiled. She was going to the one place that she might be able to feel him most. The first place their souls had met and mated for life. The roof of the loft.
Kayla parked the car up against the wall and didn’t blink at the fact that she was straddling the line. Steve pulled into the parking lot very slowly and watched as she disappeared into the building. Their loft belonged to Jennifer now, but she still had a key. Steve didn’t waste any time, he wanted to be on that roof when she got there. He started up the far fire escape, rather than the one he’d scaled so many times in the past, because its ladder was far closer to the ground. As a result, he reached the roof with less difficulty than he rightfully should have. That’s how much adrenaline was pumping through his body.
He didn’t wait long for Kayla to appear on the roof. He was hidden from view behind a vent, so she didn’t see him. Wait for her. Wait for yours to get there. He knew that was the right decision, but he wasn’t really sure why. So, he just watched her lean up against the brick wall as she dared to look at the locket she had clutched in her hand. The look on her face was killing him. Right be damned, Kayla was Kayla, she was hurting, so was he, and he had to go to her. He didn’t care what was right and what was wrong anymore, he only cared that his wife was standing there on the roof that would always be theirs, thinking that he was dead. He took a step toward her but stopped abruptly when Kayla leaned the back of her head against the brick wall and started sobbing like he’d never heard her sob before. Unlike the cries he heard at the hospital, these were horrendous, wailing sobs. He’d never seen her cry this before in his life, and never ever wanted to see it again.
Steve stood in stunned shock as Kayla’s cries overtook her at her core. She slid down against the wall and fell to the ground in a heap, the strangled, guttural emotion pouring out of her was so raw that he felt it from all the way across the roof. She called his name in pained sobs that made him sob, too. He was positively taken aback.
“Steeeeeve!” Kayla cried into the wind. “I don’t want to do this without you! Please, Steve …” Kayla hiccupped and cried and wept so hard she had to hold her stomach from the strain. “I’m not going on. I’m not! I-I-I-I-I …” She couldn’t get a breath as she began to hyperventilate. “I love you …”
My God, I didn’t know, Sweetness. I didn’t know how bad it was! God, I can’t stand it! He held his hands over his ears and sank to his knees from behind the vent. Make it stop! Please make it stop!
Steve had always known that Kayla grieved, and he learned more about that pain and what it did to her on these recent, terrible jumps that had practically split them open. But it was nothing compared to living it – seeing it happen right in front of him. Only now, as he watched his wife ‘s choked cries wrack her body – only now as he saw her on the ground with her hands in her hair and tears streaming down her face – did he truly understand the depth of her sorrow. The severity of her grief. The way her life would change forever was now manifested in front of him. Shane, single motherhood, living in Los Angeles, becoming a doctor, loneliness; those things were now in her future. Sailing around the world, filling their lives with more children, growing 16 years older with her soul mate; those things weren’t. The way she’d begged and pleaded and cried when he left her the night he’d tried to choke her in his sleep were the worst sounds he’d ever heard from her; but these were much worse.
“Why did you have to take him from meeeeeeeeeeee,” she screamed, “… and fro-fro-from Ste-Stephanie?!”
Steve couldn’t take it. He had to end this. He was afraid of what the shock of seeing him would do to her while she was in this state, but he was more afraid of what not going to her would do to him. He wiped his eyes and faintly registered that his bare feet were freezing as he was finally able to force his body to take a step from behind the vent.
But then Kayla’s cries ebbed quickly. Her breathing slowed, and she wiped a hand for the thousandth time across her cheeks as she took deep, controlling breaths. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen as she stood up and leaned against the same brick wall. Then she walked over to the skylight right beside where they’d made love for the first time; where he’d collapsed to his knees on their first jump realizing that their son wasn’t there. More tears leaked from his eye as he allowed himself to feel sorry as much for himself as he did for her. She looked at the locket again, and Steve called to her.
“Sweetness?” he cried.
Kayla’s head shot up, and for a very brief moment, just a portion of one second, her eyes registered incredulity, shock, and hope. Then her lids fell to half, and she froze at the very moment that he reached her.
“Don’t be scared, baby, it’s me,” he cried as his arms encircled her. “Come here, and let me hold you!” As he tipped her chin up toward him he felt how stiff she was and feared she was in the exact shock he’d wanted to avoid. I did the wrong thing. “Sweetness?” But as he’d shifted her with his embrace she became dead weight. The locket fell to the ground with a ping against the slate roof, and he saw her eyes were completely blank. Devoid of any kind of awareness at all.
It wasn’t shock, it was a jump. His Kayla was jumping in. Finally! He was overwhelmed with relief, but he also felt more than a little sorrow for not being able to connect with the destination Kayla. The one he left all those years ago with a gaping emotional wound to live through and manage without him. The one who had just been weeping uncontrollably who he hadn’t made it to in time. He wanted to comfort her and make her pain go away. But the regret was fleeting, because she was now showing every sign that his Kayla was on her way.
“Kayla! Thank God, baby, come on! Come to me. Where are ya, now, come on!
It seemed to take forever, but in reality it took the same amount of time it always took once their destination bodies went blank. Steve held the back of Kayla’s head in his right hand as his left arm held her up. But his injuries were getting the best of him, and if she didn’t get there soon, he was going to have to find someone to hold him up. He kissed her cheeks and lips and forehead gently coaxing her 2009 consciousness to the surface. Finally, she took a gulp of air.
Kayla blinked in her very silent and very warm hospital bed in 1987, then opened her eyes to her husband calling her name over and over again. She felt his kisses and knew this was her Steve. Not just because he’d jumped first, but because she just knew. Even so, he didn’t feel right to her in the suddenly cold air.
“Steve!”
“Right here! It’s me, baby, it’s me!” He rained kisses upon her face, he was so happy to see her. “Are you you, baby? Please be you. Please, I need you so much.”
“Yes, it’s me,” she said between his kisses, immediately wary as she looked at Steve’s bare face. He wasn’t wearing his patch, but he didn’t have two eyes, either. Nothing was less in his nature than being in public without his patch. Plus Steve was shaking. She could feel him trembling as he held on to her. She palmed his face with her right hand and felt his freezing cold skin as she took in his appearance. No patch. Scrubs. Why? “What’s wrong?” she asked with unmistakable edge to her voice. “Something is very wrong, here, Steve, where are we? You’re not wearing your patch.” She ran her thumb gently along the very bottom edge of where his eye used to be. “How long have you been here without me?”
Steve took a deep breath and closed his eye to the relief of having her with him. “You got here. Thank God you got here.” He engulfed her with his embrace and wobbled them both unsteadily as his strength drained out of him.
“Easy, easy,” Kayla said.
Steve let himself sink down to one knee and put his face in his hand as it rested on his elbow.
Kayla got down with him. “We’re … we’re on the roof? You’re not wearing any shoes! Are we running? When is this? Steve, please talk to me!”
Steve picked up the locket that had fallen from her destination version’s hands. “Look familiar?”
Kayla examined the locket she knew oh so well, even if she hadn’t seen it lately. “Of course, it’s my locket. I haven’t worn it in a while, but I used to wear it a lot when …” Then it hit her. “Oh my God,” she whispered as she reached her hand into her hair and then held her arm in front of her to examine her clothes. Her heart skipped a beat. “When is this?”
“I just escaped from the morgue. I just watched you watch me die.”
Kayla swallowed a sob. “You what?” she whispered.
“I didn’t watch, I couldn’t see any of it, but I was there. Inside my body. The whole time.” His voice was raspy as he fought to control it.
“This … this is the day you … this is October 23rd?” Steve only nodded, the memory stinging the backs of his eyes. “How?” Kayla asked shakily. “How is that possible? What are you saying?”
“I was paralyzed, Sweetness. That doctor gave me a drug to paralyze me, make it look like I was dead.” This was news to Kayla; neither she nor Steve had ever known if he had truly died and been somehow revived later, or if he’d never actually flatlined in the first place. “I couldn’t move a muscle. I thought I was dying, I really did. But then I realized I could still hear and feel everything. I went through all of it, baby. The whole thing. I was awake the whole time.”
“But – I watched them shock you.”
“Yeah,” he chuckled without humor, “and it hurt like hell. It was like someone shoved a live wire down my throat.”
“Oh, baby, no!” her tears flowing for the pain he must have endured. “Steve, no!”
Finally, Steve couldn’t take it anymore. His strength was zapped, and he fell to a sitting position against the skylight. Kayla eased down to sit, as well, and leaned him up against her.
“You’re hurt,” Kayla realized, worry etching her eyes.
“He gave something to me, Sweetness. Shot me up with some kind of memory drug. Said it would make me forget, but it’s not working like he thought. It’s doin’ somethin’ to me, baby, ‘cause my head isn’t right. But my memory is just fine.”
“Where? How long ago?”
“My room in the ICU.”
“I mean where on your body did he inject you?”
“Neck,” he said woozily. That made sense to Kayla, it was the quickest way to the nervous system short of a spinal. “All of you were already gone, I couldn’t hear you crying anymore.”
Kayla took Steve’s hand, placed it against her heart, and held it there. “You heard me crying?”
“I heard everything everyone said in that room, and a lot outside of it. Felt it all, too. Marcus lost it. And you … I …” His voice broke. “I heard you cry and beg God not to take me. Jack was there. And then you got into that bed wth me …” Steve tried and failed to hold back his own tears, “… and I didn’t want you to go. I was scared, Kayla, I really was. I didn’t know what was coming ‘cause I don’t remember any of this. I hardly remember that day at all, I only know what that guard on the boat told me. But you were there. Baby …” The trauma of the terrifying experience was overtaking him, and he couldn’t control his emotions. “I tried so hard to move, but my body wouldn’t work. “Then …,”Steve’s voice started to weaken considerably. He felt himself slipping into blackness. “…Marcus took you away.”
Kayla’s eyes were already hurting from the crying she’d done as new tears flowed. “I’m here. I’m here now. You’re ok.”
“I killed Hopkins,” Steve blurted.
“What?”
“Dr. Hopkins. The second one. He’s the one that made it all happen. Took me down to the morgue and left me there. He was there on the boat when they were going to sell me to Dimera, too. He was on Alamain’s payroll. I killed him so I could get away.” He said it with anger and not a shred of remorse.
“He’s dead?”
“He was alive when I left him, but there’s no way he didn’t bleed to death.” He rolled his head up and looked at his wife. “I won this time. He’s the one who’s dead.”
Kayla brought his hand up to her lips and pressed them against it. “Good.”
“Then I … I saw you … in the parking lot. I wanted to go to you, but you drove away. Hotwired a car and followed you here. The other you. Waited for you to arri … arrive.”
That was about it for Steve. He was losing consciousness, and he knew it. He leaned his head back against Kayla’s shoulder just as the door to the roof opened and Marcus came out. He didn’t see them sitting on the floor at first. How were they going to explain this? Kayla didn’t have time to process exactly what the implications of this time were, where everyone was, and really even where the two of them were supposed to be. Now she’d have to think of something fast, because there was no way to evade Marcus this time.
Steve saw Marcus walk through the door, but he had nothing left in him to be worried or shocked or to formulate any plans to avoid the conversation he was sure was going to ensue. He certainly was in no shape to run. No, Marcus was here, and Steve wasn’t sure what Kayla was going to say to him, but he did know that Kayla was going to be doing the saying, as he closed his eyes and passed out. Kayla watched Steve lose consciousness and forced herself not to panic given the context of what he’d just gone through.
When Marcus spotted them there he jumped out of his skin.
“It’s ok, Marcus! It’s ok, it me, Kayla.”
“Holy sh*t, Kayla, you’re not the one that’s scaring the living daylights outta me. How did you get Steve out of the morgue?!” To say he was worried about his friend was an understatement; apparently, she’d just gone ape sh*t, and he started rationally going through the scenarios in his head of how he was going to get Steve’s body back into the morgue without implicating her.
“Marcus, I want you to calm down and trust me. Steve got himself out of the morgue, because Steve’s not dead.” Marcus just stared at her, so she tried again. “Marcus feel his pulse. Go on! Feel it!” she demanded as she thrust his limp hand toward his best friend.
Marcus squatted down and very tentatively felt for the pulse in Steve’s wrist. His face softened when he felt how warm Steve was and switched to his neck. Then his jaw dropped when he felt the very obvious rush of blood travelling beneath his fingers.
“Kayla, how?” he whispered.
“There’s no time,” she said getting up from the floor. I know we’ve asked you for more help than we’ll have ever given you in your whole life, but please, you have to trust me right now. We have to get him hidden right away. He can’t be seen in public. Can you hide us?”
“Hide you from what?”
“Please, Marcus!”
“What about Stephanie?”
Stephanie … Baby Girl … “She’s at my parents’. I … I need her … for Steve.”
“For both of you.”
Kayla grounded herself and forced herself to think. “One thing at a time, we’ve got to get him into a bed somewhere. I don’t think he’s in good shape.”
“Of course, he’s not in good shape, for God’s sake, Kayla, he was in a coma 24 hours ago!”
“Right. Of course.”
“I’ll call an ambulance.”
“NO! No, he can’t go to the hospital, we have to hide him!”
“What?! Kayla are you out of your mind? The man needs a hospital, and he needs it right now!”
“If you do that he’s as good as dead, and I won’t go through that again! We have to hide him from Lawrence Alamain! Please, Marcus, don’t argue with me! If you ever loved Steve, and I know you did, you have to just trust me!” Kayla shouted this at him; he’d never heard Kayla like this, and she could see from the look he gave her that he was, frankly, stunned.
Kayla pierced him with her sad, glassy, insistent eyes, and he knew whatever was going on, he just had to not let this miracle go. His best friend, his brother, the only person on this earth who today loved him unconditionally, was given back to him. Kayla continued looking at him with intensity as he took Steve’s hand in his.
“Yeah,” Marcus said with wonder. “Yeah, no problem. I’ll get you guys somewhere safe.” Then he came back to himself. “Did you find him this way? What are his symptoms?”
Kayla went on to explain what he’d told her about the paralytic agent and the injected additional drug. She explained exactly how he got there and who was involved, and she also explained that she wasn’t safe from Alamain’s men, either. She didn’t consider or really care that that was knowledge she’d acquired after having lived several months and years beyond this point, she just needed him to have the information that would get them somewhere safe to treat Steve. They considered several locations, including Shane’s house. She knew that was actually the very best place for them to stay safe with their daughter, too, but she couldn’t take him there without consulting him; not now. So for now they just stayed right where they were, there at the loft. With Jennifer wrapped up in that mess in Lawrence’s country, she knew no one would be bothering her there.
Marcus helped get Steve half conscious, and he and Kayla did their best to drag him into the loft. He was forced to manage on his own down the spiral staircase, as two across wasn’t going to cut it there.
“I love you, too, Homey,” Steve blurted out in his delirium. “Tomb can wait, man. And you can’t have my girl.” Marcus had no idea what he was talking about.
No sooner had they gotten him settled onto the bed of the guest bedroom that he promptly fell right back into unconsciousness.
“No matter what happens, Marcus, no matter what you hear from anyone, you cannot tell a soul that Steve is alive and that you know where he is. You can’t. Do you hear me? His life is in the balance.”
“Fine, I’m not gonna tell anyone, but you need to tell me right now what is going on here. How did this happen? Just tell me, Kayla, you can’t just leave me in the dark like this.”
“Do you trust me?”
“What the hell kind of question is that?”
“Do you?”
“You know I do.”
“Then trust me now.”
Marcus didn’t like it. Not one bit. But he didn’t argue any further and just did what she asked. He went back to his place, got all the supplies he was going to need to take care of Steve, as well as some clothes that weren’t going to fit him but would have to do. Then called over to the Bradys and told them Kayla was going to stay with him for the night, and could they keep Stephanie overnight. Caroline agreed, of course. Then he went to the Emergency Center to pick up IV kits, medications, and anything not covered in his bag. An hour later he was headed back to the loft.
While Marcus was gone, Kayla got Steve out of the scrubs and changed the dressing around his ribs with the first aid supplies Jennifer had on hand. She also covered his left eye with a gauze pad and some medical tape, knowing he hated having his eye exposed for any length of time. She kissed his lips and called his name a few times, hoping he’d awaken, but he didn’t really rouse. She started to cry when she saw his feet. Filthy and scratched up from his barefoot run from the hospital and climb up the fire escape. She got a bowl of hot, sudsy water and a washcloth, and began washing off his feet.
“Remember when you did this for me the other day?” she asked his still form. Was it really the other day, she wondered as she gently scrubbed the bottoms of his feet? It seemed so long ago. “How many weeks have we been gone, Steve? Four? At least a month, right? I’ve lost track.” A cut in Steve’s big toe started to ooze slightly, and she sprayed it with Bactine. “My poor husband,” she said softly.
Kayla then cleaned off the rest of him and tucked his naked body into the guest bed. She was dozing lightly next to him when Marcus walked in. Kayla sat up quickly as Marcus settled her and then began examining his best friend.
“Heart rate’s a little fast.”
“Not too tachy, though, and it’s steady.”
“True enough, Dr. Johnson,” Marcus joked with a grin. If only he knew. Maybe he should know. We might have to tell him. Kayla didn’t have time to ponder whether or not this was a good idea or stupid one, because before she knew it, the IV was going into Steve’s hand as the bag of saline was set on fast drip. Then he got out the smelling salts. “If we can’t wake him, you know it’ll have to be a cath.”
Kayla nodded. “He’ll wake up.”
As soon as Marcus waved the strong, ammonia-smelling capsule beneath his nose, Steve’s eyes popped open. He jerked his head around to find Kayla sitting next to him on a bed he didn’t know, and Marcus standing over him with his hands on his hips. He felt confused and disoriented. “Kayla?!” he called out even though he saw her right there. “Do you remember Stockholm?” He was breathing erratically, and Marcus didn’t like it.
“Stockholm?” Marcus asked.
“What is this,” Kayla came right back with, “20 questions?”
“Oh,” Steve exhaled. “Baby …” He reached for her, and she took his hand.
“Steve, we did this already, do you remember? The roof?”
“I saw you arrive. You were – So sad, baby. So sad.”
“When did you jump in?” she asked as Marcus tried to follow the conversation.
“Right before I flatlined. Last thing I said was that I love you.” He touched her face, and the look upon it was so gentle he couldn’t take it. He closed his eye and reached for his patch. He found the bandages and looked back at her. “Thank you, baby,” he said with genuine gratitude. She smiled back and kissed his hand.
“I don’t know what you two are talking about, but Steve, you’re gonna have to pee pretty damn soon with those fluids we’re pumping into you. There’s another bag right after this where that came from, and I want chicken broth in you first thing in the morning. Somewhere between the second bag and that broth, you’re gonna tell me what the hell is going on here.”
Steve did what came naturally and lied. “There’s nothin’ goin’ on, Homey, nothin’ you have to worry about.”
“Oh why don’t you just save it, man, it’s insulting.”
“Steve,” Kayla said softly, “I think we might have to this time.” Steve gave her a look that clearly said he couldn’t disagree more, but the fact was that he wasn’t in a position to argue at the moment. “For now, you just get better.”
Marcus slept on the couch while Steve and Kayla tried to sleep through the night. He woke them four times to take his vitals and change his IV bag, and each time Kayla helped him to the small guest bathroom where the fluids had worked their way right through him until his bladder threatened to burst.
By morning Marcus was exhausted. He removed the line from the now empty second saline bag but kept the lead into his hand so he wouldn’t have to stick him again in case he needed more medication. All that and Steve didn’t move. It was only when he put the blood pressure cuff around his friend’s muscular arm that Steve woke up quickly.
“Kayla!”
“Shh, man, let her sleep,” Marcus whispered, but Kayla startled awake, anyway.
“Stockholm?” he said sleepily.
“Stockholm again?”
“20 questions,” she replied with the same relief that she saw spreading across her husband’s face.
“Ok,” Marcus said, “now that we’ve got that all established, it’s time for you to clue me in on your secret code and whatever the hell it is that’s going on here.” Steve and Kayla unconsciously grabbed onto each other’s hands, lacing their fingers together. There was a very expectant silence before Steve finally spoke.
“Lawrence Alamain faked my death.”
“And you know this how?” Marcus didn’t wait for them to finish taking his blood pressure. It was low.
“I just do.”
“Oh come on, man!”
“Homey, I’m feelin’ like sh*t, here, do we have to do this now.”
“Marcus,” Kayla interjected, “can we give him time to recover, please, he’s just been through something terrible.”
“Kayla, as far as your family knows, your husband died yesterday, and they are about to wonder where the hell you are. Don’t you think you could use a little backup right now?”
He was right. Kayla looked at her husband and squeezed his hand. “We need to tell him,” she whispered.
Steve threw up his free hand and then ran it frustratedly through his hair.
“Marcus,” Kayla carefully began, “something is … happening to us.”
Marcus sat down on the side of the bed to face them. “Ok, what? What’s happening to you?”
Now that the moment was upon her to tell him, she had no idea what to say. We’re from the future? We’re jumping through time? None of this is going to matter once we jump away because the timeline will reset to whatever it was in the first place and you won’t remember any of this? How could she say any of these things to him? She was going to sound like a lunatic. She looked to Steve for help, but he was as lost on what to say as she was.
“We’re – we’re …”
“Marcus, we’re being chased by Lawrence Alamain for some reason, I have no idea what he wants with me. I think he just wanted to get even with Bo for something, because the bomb was meant for him, but once they had me, they just went with it. Kayla can’t go home, because they’re gonna be waiting there for her, they think she has something they want.”
“What?”
“A tape,” Kayla said. “Implicating Lawrence.”
“That’s all we can tell you right now, because the rest of it we don’t really understand, either. But we can’t tell my family I’m alive. Not yet.”
Marcus took it all in. Then he asked, “What was that Stockholm stuff?” Neither one of them said anything. “Come on, this is me! You need me to keep your secrets, you know I will. Now trust me with this! What do you need this secret code for?”
“To make sure we’re who we seem to be,” Steve said.
Marcus tried not to sound like they were nuts, because that was clearly what was holding them back. Did they think he didn’t know them well enough to have figured that out? “Ok,” he said carefully, “and who else would you be but you?”
“We’d still be us, Marcus,” Kayla said, “we just might not be the – versions of ourselves,” she hedged, “that remembers our entire lives together. We need to make sure we’re the us from two– we need to make sure we’re the whole us.” She almost said from 2009, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Steve squeezed her hand as he carefully watched his best friend’s reaction; she did good.
Finally after a long silence, Marcus said, “That memory drug you mentioned? It’s that memory drug?”
“Yeah,” Steve said too enthusiastically, he’s messin’ with our memories.”
“But we’re fine! We’re ok now. We’ll be fine, we know we’re the real us now – I MEAN THE WHOLE US NOW.”
Marcus nodded. “Ok. Man, I had no idea Hopkins was on the take. God, Steve, I shocked you, myself, your heart stopped.”
“I don’t know what my heart was doing, but trust me, it was beating. I felt those paddles. Every one of them.”
“God, Steve.”
“And I was awake in there the whole time. I heard what you said,” Steve told him softly. “I’m so sorry, Homey. I’m so sorry I put you through that.”
Marucs fought off tears. “I’m just happy to have you back,” he said as he took Steve’s hand and then embraced him. “Don’t ever do that to me again, ok?” Steve felt a stab of intense melancholy with that statement, knowing Marcus would die well before his time, himself.
“Yeah, ok,” he rasped.
Kayla was afraid to make any calls from here based on what she knew of Lawrence’s interactions with Jennifer, so Marcus called Caroline from his place, again, and said he’d come by to get Stephanie. Steve couldn’t wait to see his daughter, and knowing she was going to come through that door any minute gave him strength. When Marcus finally did appear with her in his arms Steve couldn’t help but cry.
“Little Sweetness! Oh, come here, let your papa hold you!” Stephanie squealed, and Kayla looked at her baby girl with such overwhelming and deep love. The last time she saw her was on their second jump, and it still moved her to see her at the babyhood stage again. The reunion was beautiful, and Marcus left them alone to be with each other for the next hour.
Later, Marcus watched Steve, who continued to rest and recover, while Kayla called her mother from a payphone nearby and somehow made it through a long conversation assuring Caroline that she and Marcus were making all the funeral arrangements. She had no idea if they’d be here long enough to actually have to deal with it, but she had to get her family out of the picture for the next few days by “grieving,” which made perfect sense. She would never forget the day of Steve’s funeral, it was the Friday after he died. This time she pushed it to Saturday, wanting to give Steve an extra day to recover before they outed themselves. If they were still there, then they wouldn’t be able to hide forever, and Steve needed to be as strong as possible.
Later that night, news of the murder of the touted doctor made it to the news channels. Steve watched it from the couch and cursed Hopkins’ image as a number to call with any information scrolled across the screen. “You rot in hell,” he seethed.
At 3am Steve woke to Kayla gently pacing with Stephanie in her arms and a bottle popped into her mouth. She looked beautiful. He hadn’t seen her with straight hair this long and this straight in quite some time, and it struck him that this was new time for them. It felt calming. Right.
Kayla saw him sit up in bed. “Sorry we woke you,” she cooed. “Someone was hungry, weren’t you, Baby Girl?”
“Don’t be. Feels good.”
“You need your rest.”
Steve stared at Stephanie. “Can I have a turn for a minute, baby?”
“Of course you can,” she said and handed Steve his little girl.
Steve looked into her sleepy eyes as she fed from the small bottle and thought of how beautiful his raven-haired daughter was today. Kayla caught his eye and smiled at him as she fingered the locket around her neck. And for reasons he couldn’t begin to understand, the image of his wife sobbing uncontrollably on the roof entered his mind with such force that a guttural sound escaped his throat. “Steve, what is it?!”
“You. I was remembering the other day. I was there the whole time you were on the roof.” Kayla was silent. She wasn’t sure what he was trying to tell her. “I watched you cry. Before you jumped in, I watched it. It tore me apart.”
“Oh,” she said with dawning comprehension as she sat facing him on the bed. “I don’t remember that night so well, but I was not myself.”
“Not yourself? Baby you were not on this earth. My whole life I’ve never seen you like that.” He remembered Stephanie contentedly feeding from her bottle in his arms and changed his tone, though not his content. “Mama scared Papa when he saw her that way,” he sing-songed, “didn’t she Little Sweetness?” Stephanie shoved the nipple out of her mouth with her tongue and Steve held her close to burp her. “Papa loves your mama so much that he couldn’t handle it, could he?” Stephanie rewarded him with a burp and a gurgle. She yawned as Steve kissed her, then he handed her to Kayla to put her back in her car carrier, which she set her on the opposite side of the room. “My whole life, I’ve never seen you like that, Kayla,” Steve repeated softly so his daughter wouldn’t hear him.
Kayla layed against Steve’s chest as he wrapped his arms around her. “Losing you was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me,” she said. I shut down.”
“I know that now. When you told me you were broken I didn’t understand. I do now. I hate that I understand it, and I wish I could go back to never having seen you up there cryin’ so hard. Baby … I didn’t know what it was like. And with,” he took a deep breath, “Shane,” his name came out with difficulty, “with what you told me about how it was for you … seeing that up there? Kayla, I don’t ever wanna see that again.”
“I’m sorry,” Kayla said.
Steve couldn’t believe the guilt he heard in her voice. “No, Kayla. No,” he said with disbelief. “I’m the one who’s sorry, don’t you see what I’m trying to say? I put you through that. It was the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard, those cries coming out of you. Why should you be sorry, you’re not the one who put me in that morgue. You’re the one who had to cope when I was gone.”
“Yeah, I was,” she said. But part of me has always wondered since you came back if I could have prevented it.” Steve looked down at her like she’d grown a second head. “I just took at face value what they told me. That you were dead. That your heart had stopped. I knew I saw a pulse in your neck, but I let them convince me that you were gone.”
“Kayla I remember being there this time. I’m telling you, Hopkins covered all the bases. Even the monitor showed that my heart wasn’t beating, baby. And you’re gonna blame yourself? What, you’re supposed to think the machine is lying?”
Kayla sat up from him and looked down at her sleeping daughter then back to Steve. Her eyes were steel. “I hate them.”
“So do I. And I hate Dimera, too. Or whoever’s doing this to us.” Steve took her hand and placed it against his cheek. “I didn’t know until I saw for myself just how broken you felt.” He turned into her palm and kissed it. “I watched you break apart up there. I know now,” he said meaningfully.
“Yeah, but you know what? You were given a second chance with this jump. You knew what to do this time, and you fixed it. And look, now you’re here with us,” she smiled. “Back on the right track. You did that, not me, I was still in 1987 or that time tunnel or whatever. But you’re our hero. Because now our baby has her papa back.”
“I love you, Sweetness.”
“I love you more.”
“Oh, I doubt that,” Steve said with a sad smile.
The next day Steve was feeling so much better. His vitals had all but leveled out, so Kayla removed the IV port. Marcus had to go to work, so he left Steve and Kayla with Stephanie for the day. He’d had the wherewithal to pick up a can of formula and rice cereal, as well as a few outfits for all of them from the house, so they’d been set for the short term. There was nowhere for the baby to sleep, however, so she continued to sleep in her car carrier, and quite happily, too.
Steve and Kayla had played with her for hours over the past two days. She was their daughter, but she was also a bit of a novelty, too. A bright, shining bonus that lit up the misery of not only this jump but the entire series of them beginning with that horrible boat. There was no pain when they were with Stephanie. No fear or doubt about what was happening to them. It was all on hold when the beautiful, giggling little girl they’d made together was with them. They took care of her and enjoyed every second she was there. The mess they were in wasn’t gone, but the horror if it all had fallen away to the true joy of being a family with their baby daughter.
This was not time Steve and Kayla were reliving; this was a brand new experience. Unshared time that was now shared. Nineteen years ago, Kayla was numb with grief in her parents’ home while Steve began the nightmare of his captivity. This day, Thursday, October 25th was not a day they’d previously shared. For them, this was the first time around.
Friday morning Steve woke up early. He kissed his wife softly without waking her before he headed into the kitchen to get himself something to eat. Marcus then slid open the loft door and smiled at his friend. “Man, you look almost 100%.”
“I feel almost 100%, Homey,” Steve smiled. Then the two of them went into their womb-to-tomb handshake.
Marcus went silent, and his face took on a mask of seriousness. “Don’t you ever leave me again, man.”
Steve looked into Marcus’s chocolate brown eyes and nodded. “Thanks for taking care of Kayla.”
“I didn’t do any—”
“I know you don’t understand. But you were there for her. For years. And I couldn’t ever say thank you. But when I found out, it meant a lot to me. I love you for it, Marcus. You’ll always be my brother.”
Marcus swallowed the lump in his throat. Steve was right, he didn’t understand what Steve was saying, but he had a feeling it had something to do with whatever the whole truth was that he knew damn well they weren’t telling him. He could have pushed Steve, but he didn’t. He just accepted it and nodded. Happy for now to simply have his friend back.
Marcus checked Steve over one last time and then deemed him healthy enough that he would have released him if this were a hospital. He didn’t push when Steve didn’t have any details on whether or not they were going through with this funeral tomorrow or not and settled on getting an answer this evening. Marcus then left for rounds at the hospital, and Steve shoveled in two slices of toast heaping with butter.
When he came back into the bedroom Kayla was still sleeping, and Stephanie was beginning to wake up. He got her out of her carseat, and brought her into bed with he and Kayla, who curled her fingers into his growing stubble. She then kissed Stephanie’s belly, and the baby let out a stream of happy giggles. They sat in bed as a family just like they did with Joey every morning, minus the breastfeeding. Steve looked into Kayla’s eyes, and they knew they were each thinking of Joe at home, though neither one verbalized it.
Right after their daughter went down for her morning nap, which neither of them wanted to truly put her down for, Kayla cleared Steve to take a shower. She felt that whatever drugs were in his system were now gone and that he wasn’t going to topple over in there and hit his head. Of course, Marcus had already done all that, but she needed to check him over herself. The water felt so good, so cleansing of all the horror he’d just been through. He wanted to stand beneath that hot stream all day. A stream that Kayla had stood under a couple hours earlier. Thoughts of her naked body suddenly electrified him, and his longing for her after those previous terrible jumps made him ache.
When he came out he left his left eye exposed and walked naked to his wife. Kayla reacted immediately, licking her lips and locking her eyes intensely upon his. Steve didn’t say anything at first. There were no words, just intensity and immediate understanding. He ran his hands through her hair and his thumb across her bottom lip.
“You’re still recovering.”
Steve didn’t acknowledge her; instead he very slowly began to strip her clothes off one by one. She thought to herself that this was far too early after his ordeal to be doing anything physical, including any kind of sexual activity. But all it took was his strong hands gently cupping her breasts as he kissed her deeply for her to let go and feel him there. They hadn’t made love or been intimate in any way since he’d found she and Shane on the pier. She’d needed this for days, and her heart quickened at the purity of the look in his eye. Kayla ran her hands across his broad back and felt the muscles ripple beneath her fingers as he undressed her.
“I’m sorry for everything, Kayla,” he whispered. “I’m sorry for all of it.” He kissed her so gently, and she could feel how much he meant what he was saying. “I love you so much. I almost lost you. And I’m so sorry.”
She knew that he was talking about their rift over the last several jumps. “I did the wrong thing, too, Steve. I’m sorry, too.”
He put a finger to her lips. “What you went through. I had no idea what it was like for you. I just …” He gathered her up in his arms and held her tightly. “Sweetness … Sweetness …”
“No more secrets, Steve. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
“Shh, kiss me.”
“I love you,” she moaned into his kiss.
Kayla felt Steve’s erection stiff against her belly. Steve’s bare body and bare face were laid open for her, and now she was as naked as he was. They wrapped themselves in each others arms and when he slid into her, she cried out with the sensation. Finally, her husband was home inside of her, their marriage was safe, and they were together in a time that originally stripped them apart. Kayla felt her ring on her finger where it belonged as Steve gently glided into her warm, wet sheath.
“Kayla,” he moaned. “Kayla … I love you, Sweetness. Thank you for my life.”
“Thank you for our life,” she said breathily as he took her breast in his mouth and sucked gently on her alabaster skin. He swirled his tongue around her nipple, and Kayla moaned in rising ecstasy. Her orgasm was building, and Steve started to pump faster. For a moment she worried he wouldn’t have the stamina after the traumatic physical ordeal, but he showed no signs of weakness.
“You feel so good. Kayla, baby, you feel so good. I missed you.” He thrust into her with growing intensity. He wanted to pour himself into her and never leave. Joining with her was the best medicine he could be given. Physically and emotionally.
Kayla felt how much he loved her with every insistent stroke against her clitoris. His tongue on her felt like velvet as his lips sucked at her stiff peaks and his penis continued to thrust into her. Which is why when she felt the tug in her gut so fiercely it took the wind out of her. Steve felt her reaction and stopped moving.
“Sweetness?”
“I just felt the jump,” she said quickly. She couldn’t help but cry.
Steve instinctively held on to her as if that might keep her there. “Dammit!” It was the second time they jumped during sex, and he was just as angry and frustrated this time as he was the last time, but he was also relieved to be getting out of this hellish jump, too.
She kissed him fiercely and he kissed her back in equal desperation. “Find me, Steve! Please find me!”
“I’ll always find you baby,” his voice broke as he looked into her beautiful eyes beneath him and lovingly tousled the hair out of her eyes.
“Stephanie!” Kayla shouted, surely waking up her baby napping outside the door. “Your mommy loves you,” she sobbed. “I love you! Both of you,” she whispered to Steve as she felt herself falling away into wherever she was going next.
Steve watched her go as her eyes fell into a stiffened blank stare. He was still inside of her. He knew he was going in just moments. He refused to pull out of her. He rested inside of her and kissed her unresponsive lips. “I love you,” he whispered as he kissed her again. Then he called out, “Don’t cry, Little Sweetness! Papa loves you, too!” Then he felt his own pull and jumped, too.
The last thing Kayla felt and heard was her husband still inside of her and the faint sounds of her daughter’s cries as Steve looked into her eyes. When she felt him start thrusting into her again she felt momentary relief. But he was pumping into her now so much harder and faster than he’d just been making love to her, and the room was darker. And he felt different. Immediately and completely different … wrong … “Steve?” she called to him.
He stopped his brisk pumping very abruptly at the sound of her voice, and in that very moment Kayla knew even before her eyes adjusted. She screamed and pushed him off of her with such force that the man on top of her went tumbling to the floor with a hard thud. The face that stared back up at her wasn’t Steve’s.
“Bloody hell, Kay,” Shane huffed, “what the devil’s gotten into you?!”