Kayla never felt so glad to be hungry. Staring into the nearly empty refrigerator, she knew she was nearly well again. Not perfect, but well enough to wake up to Steve sleeping like a rock beside her, kiss him on the forehead, slip out of bed to shower on her own, and pad off to the kitchen to address the hunger making itself known in her stomach. And she was thankful for it.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t much in the fridge left to eat. In the last two days, she and Steve had gone through most of the rest of what he’d brought back from Shenanigans, leaving a few withered pickles, several rolls, and some crackers. Not much to dine on; but standing in her bare feet with the cold air of the fridge radiating over her while she wore a pair of Steve’s boxers and one of his button-down shirts, she felt alive. She felt happy, clean, and well.
She was also confused. How was it that they’d been there seven days without a jump? Never ever had they been anywhere this long, and it was like a bit of validation that they couldn’t be careless during these jumps and get complacent waiting to jump. She’d been thinking about it non-stop for two days and just didn’t know what to make of it. When she woke up this morning, she’d finally succumbed to the fact that she had to go to the bathroom. She’d felt a little stronger every day, and this day she was feeling a lot stronger; so much more like herself. So, she willingly left his sleeping presence to go take care of herself. It was the first time she’d done so since they’d jumped here, and it was the first time that she’d allowed herself to be alone. It wasn’t as hard on her as it was on Steve when he had to get her medicine and food, because she knew he’d already done it and they were still there, so she figured the likelihood of a jump happening when she was peeing was probably slim (or that’s what she told herself, anyway) and, therefore, allowed herself to deal with her basic needs.
Now her trip to the kitchen was like another milestone. Looking back at Steve before she left the bedroom, he hadn’t moved, and after the ordeal he’d been through like a new father with an infant, she didn’t want to inflict any more sleep deprivation on him than she already had. Be a big girl, Kayla, go to the kitchen, she thought. The bathroom was a baby step, the shower was the next one, and they were both still there. Steve snored lightly as she crossed that threshold into the living room and walked alone into the kitchen. She wished she could say, piece of cake, but it was unsettling, and she wanted to get back to the comfort of her husband quickly.
Still, the life she felt from her bare feet to the mostly dried curls in her hair was wonderful.
Kayla grabbed two rolls, filled two glasses with water, and headed back to the bedroom where Steve continued to sleep. She set it all on the nightstand and crawled back into bed. She grabbed her roll and tore off a piece with her teeth as she leaned on her side watching him sleep. He still hadn’t moved. He was that exhausted.
“You love me that much,” she whispered as she caressed the hair off his face, “that you nearly kill yourself to keep me alive.”
She couldn’t bear to wake him, so she kissed his cheek and got back out of bed to sit by the fire. The flames had started to ebb, so she stoked it, adding a log to the glowing embers, then sat in a nearby chair and let herself be lulled by the flames. As she tore off more pieces of her roll, she wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t saved her all those years ago. She’d be dead now. What would have become of Steve? Would he have gotten over her? Her mind wandered as the what-ifs ran through her head one after another. She thought about where her family might be today if she had died all those years ago. Would Steve have found a way to be happy, maybe with someone else? Could he have moved on? “I didn’t,” she said softly.
Unbidden, guilt and inexplicable jealousy ran together like a cold stream down her spine. Shame as she thought of how she tried to move on with Shane along with resentment for the nine women Steve slept with while he wasn’t himself erupted like a conflagration as she stared at the fire before her as she saw Ava in her mind’s eye. She shuddered and mentally kicked herself. “Stop it,” she said. She knew these thoughts were completely irrational, so she shook them off as quickly as they’d come to her. It was only a moment, and it was only one in a sea of thoughts that would run through her mind that night, not the least of which being why they had to go through all of this again in the first place. That was a thought she was truly sick of having.
Kayla sat like that for some time before Steve stirred. She didn’t notice when the bedcovers rustled as he sat up against the headboard, she’d been so lost in thought. He was so glad to see her out of that bed, he didn’t want to say anything just yet. He just watched her as the flames reflected their golden light against her face. Her hair glowed even more brightly than it usually did. She was so beautiful. And she was well. Thank God, she was well.
“Nice to see you up and around, Sweetness,” Steve finally called out to her softly.
Kayla turned with a start and saw that he’d been watching her. “Nice to be up,” she replied with a smile. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
He just smiled at her, silent. Then he glanced at her empty side of the bed and said, “I must have missed you.” Then he raked an eye over her and laughed.
“What?” Kayla asked with a smirk. She knew exactly why he was laughing. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you? Wanted to see me in these ridiculous boxers again.”
“Yeah, that must be it, baby,” he chuckled. “Stand up, let me look at you.”
Kayla rolled her eyes but complied just so she could hear him laugh some more. Steve whirred his finger asking her to turn around, which she did, flipping up her shirt tails and sticking her butt out.
“Yes,” Steve said, “very nice Santy Clauses on that very nice ass, now please come here and warm me up.”
“Wait a minute,” Kayla said with her hand on her hip, “You want me to get back in the bed? I finally got out.”
“Would you get your ass in here, please?”
“Ooh,” Kayla teased, “testy.” She crawled back into bed and laid her head down on Steve’s chest as he embraced her tightly.
“Mm, baby, you smell good.”
“Amazing what a little shampoo will do for you.”
Steve sighed deeply as his demeanor shifted to something more serious. “You don’t know how happy I was to see you sitting in that chair just now, Sweetness.” Kayla didn’t say anything, just let him hold her tighter. “You scared me so bad. It was way worse than the first time,” he said as he kissed the top of her head. “I didn’t realize it could get worse, ‘cause that was bad enough, but it was, baby. I wasn’t sure—“ he paused, and Kayla turned her head to place a kiss on his tattoo. “—I wasn’t sure you were gonna make it for a while there.”
“Shh,” Kayla said, looking up at him. “I did make it. Here in this crazy timeline from so long ago I can’t believe you even remembered any of it—“
“Baby, I couldn’t forget it.”
“—And you saved me. You somehow found me the antidote without even going to Marcus, I don’t know how you did it.”
“You can thank Alice Horton for that, Sweetness, you might be dead right now if it wasn’t for her.”
“You, Steve,” she said seriously. “You. Are the one who made it all happen. And I’m here. I’m ok.” She leaned over and kissed him softly with her full lips that had gotten back all of their color. “I love you.”
“Baby,” Steve raked his knuckles down her cheek. “I love you, too.” Then he realized it must be evening by now and said, “speaking of the antidote, you need to take a pill now.”
“Already did,” she said sticking her chin out. “Right before I went into the kitchen to look for something to eat.”
“You went to the kitchen? By yourself?”
“I know,” Kayla said with wide eyes full of faux awe, “shocking, but true.”
Steve smiled at her as she sat up in bed and faced him. “Weird, wasn’t it?”
“It … was hard. I’m worried about separating, but you did it, and we’ve been here so long that I just thought … it was time.”
“You know, leaving you here about did me in. I just had to hope we wouldn’t jump.”
“Well not going wasn’t much of alternative. And look, we’re still here,” she smiled.
“Seven days, Sweetness,” he said solemnly. She nodded. “Long time.”
“I know.”
They looked at each other, silently agreeing to table the why that they both ached for the answer to.
“So, you’re feelin’ good enough to look for food, then. That’s great, baby, I’m so glad.”
“Me, too.”
“Did you find anything?”
Kayla shrugged. “No, actually, not too much. We’ve got a few rolls left, and lots of crackers, Joey seemed to really want us to have a lot of crackers. And some pickles that have seen better days. And that’s about it. I brought you some dinner over there,” she said nodding toward his nightstand.
“A whole roll? A whole one?”
“Yep. Already had mine, so that sucker’s all yours.”
“Ooh,” Steve said, as his eye went wide with excitement. “Goody.”
Kayla smirked then got a little dizzy, the effects of the atropine not yet fully gone from her system. Steve caught it and dispensed with the mirth immediately.
“Ok, back to bed for you, come on now, lie down.”
“Steve, no, I’ve been in bed for a week, I really don’t want to lie back down.”
“It took two weeks last time, Kayla, and you just had a dizzy spell, you’re not 100%.”
“Steve, no more coddling, please, it’s not a big deal, I was dizzier with my pregnancies than that last blip, really, I’m fine.”
Steve cast a concerned glance at her from his side of the bed. “Alright, you’re the doctor, but I’ve got my eye on you, baby.”
“Ok, I’ll take your eye on me any day,” she grinned.
She looked so beautiful. Her young face and silly outfit only made her look better, and Steve suddenly had an urge to devour her.
“Ok,” he said brusquely, “my turn in the shower.” He turned quickly and headed for the bathroom and felt bad. Here his wife was just finally well again, and the first thing he thinks about is making love to her. Nice, Johnson, real nice. “You gonna be ok in here while I shower?”
“I think I can manage,” she said in a slightly lower voice, enjoying the effect she was having on him as she licked her bottom lip.
“You’re still a sick puppy dog, Sweetness,” he warned.
Kayla sat back against the headboard with mock disappointment. “You’re no fun.”
“Oh, that’s just cold, now, baby,” he said as he headed for the bathroom.
As the water ran over his naked body, Steve ran the soap over his skin. Normally, he’d be thinking sexy thoughts about what he wanted to do to his wife in that bed out there now that she was so much better; but despite the playful flirting of moments ago, his thoughts were filled with caution. Relief. Fear. Much like his wife had done earlier in the evening, Steve thought about what they were doing there seven whole days after their jump. Why they hadn’t jumped yet. And what the hell they were doing there in the first place. As the shampoo rinsed though his hair and down his back, possessive need started to flicker and quickly grew to needing to have her in his arms. He needed to feel her body against him. Needed to feel her heart beating with his. It was a need driven not by sex, but by fear of the uncertainty that they were facing.
Steve turned off the shower, wrapped a towel around him middle, and without even putting his patch back on, he burst into the bedroom.
“Kayla!”
“Steve?” She was surprised that he emerged without his patch, it wasn’t like him. “What’s wrong?” she asked as she put his roll back on the plate; she couldn’t help it she was so hungry.
“I need to hold you, Sweetness. I need you.” He pulled her up off the bed and brought her into a tight embrace, he didn’t care that he was getting her all wet, and neither did she, he felt so good.
“What is it?” she implored. “Tell me.”
He pulled her head up to his and covered her lips with his own. It was the first passionate kiss they’d had since they’d jumped here. It was fierce and wet and frantic, and it took her breath away.
“Steve!”
“No! Kiss me. I need you.”
His tongue dueled with hers, and she felt his arousal stiff against her belly as hers moistened the boxers she wore.
“I’m here, baby,” she assured him. “I’m right here. I’m fine now.”
That made Steve stop and smile. “Fine, are you? You’re fine?” That brought Steve back to some kind of rational sanity. “Oh baby,” he chuckled. “What kind of fine was that kiss? Tell me it was more than a 7.”
Kayla was dizzy again, mainly but not entirely from the kiss, and didn’t get the reference. “What? Seven what? You’re not done kissing me, are you?”
He saw her sway and said, “Jesus, I’m an asshole. You were not ready for that.”
“Stop it, you’re not, and I was, I’m ok!”
“No, you’re not, come here.” Steve got his wife back down on the bed, and she admitted to herself that that was maybe too much too soon. “Baby, I just panicked in the shower, I can’t explain it. I just needed to feel your skin on me. I needed you. Sorry.”
“I’m not,” Kayla said, reaching her hand over to stroke his naked erection, the towel having fallen away.
Steve groaned as pleasure coursed through him. “Kayla, I don’t think you’re well enough for this, I shouldn’t have come out here guns blazing like that. Oh … oh, baby, you need to stop.” She was looking at him with love in her eyes, and he tilted his head in question at her.
“You took care of me for a week, Steve. You didn’t sleep, you didn’t eat.”
“No, that was you, baby.”
“And you suffered by yourself while I slept it all away.”
“Nightmares don’t count now?”
She was still stroking his penis, wanting to give him release. “While I slept it all away, Steve. Let me make you feel good.”
“Baby, I want to make love to you, I said next time I’d really make love to you, but you’re not ready.”
“No, but I can still make you feel good.”
And her hands did feel good. Soft and skilled as she worked his powerful erection in her hands.
“Are … are you sure, baby?” Steve had started to pant as the sensation of her hand pumping fast over his cock. “You don’t … have to … I … I want to wait for you.”
“Shh,” she said as she placed wet kisses on his neck while her fist worked to bring on his release. His right hand threaded through her hair as he held her tightly with the other. “I love you, Steve,” she cooed in his ear. “I love you so much.” Steve cried out her name as his orgasm exploded in her hand. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me. Soon.” White hot streams pumped over Steve’s belly and onto his chest as she suckled his neck and found her way to his lips. “I love you.” She kissed him gently, sweetly. When he pulled back, he saw only devotion in her eyes.
“You’re somethin’ else, Kayla, you know that?” She kissed him again. “You didn’t—“
“I know I didn’t. I wanted to. I wanted to.”
“Thank you, baby.”
After he cleaned up, dressed, and put his patch back on, he and Kayla both sat in front of the fire. They were both hungry, and they knew that there was really no way out than for Steve to leave again. Kayla couldn’t go with, because if she was spotted, they’d have to navigate the whole thing with Jack again, and neither one of them had the energy to figure that all out again. So, he got on his shoes and jacket, kissed her deeply at the door, and went on his third trip without her.
There wasn’t anything at his apartment he needed, so he headed in the opposite direction out of town to a food store and stocked up on real food. His money was running low, and this was probably going to be the last time he’d be able to buy anything without hustling some pool. He got basics, lunch meat, bread, soup, eggs, fruit, and frozen vegetables. Before he checked out, he ran back for pasta and some jarred sauce. “We’ve gotta have spaghetti.” He ran through a McDonalds on the way back for a quick meal tonight, then flew back to the cabin.
When he walked into the bedroom she wasn’t there. Fear gripped him.
“KAYLA!”
“I’m right here!” she said from behind him. “I was in the kitchen, you ran right past me.”
Relief flooded his every limb. “Kayla,” he said with a bit of annoyance as he plowed a hand through his hair. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry,” she said gently. “I was just getting some water.”
“Ok,” he reached for her, “It’s ok. Whoo!” he laughed.
But the truth is that none of this was funny, and it was time to really talk. They sat down at the table across from the bed, and Kayla began to inhale her quarter pounder.
“It’s nice to see you have an appetite again.” Then he looked at her seriously, his big mac still in his hand. “This was close this time, Kayla. We almost didn’t make it out of this one alive. You know that, right?”
“You mean I didn’t.”
“I was there, too. If you had died, I would have died with you.” Kayla put his free hand to her face and turned her lips in to kiss his palm.
“I do know that. And we’re still in it. Tomorrow is eight days.”
“Baby, what’s even more crazy is that I don’t get why we’re here. Not just jumping, but why we jumped here, Kayla. If it was to put right something that was wrong the first time, then why jump to now? What the fuck were we supposed to fix here? What I did wrong that got us here I did wrong months ago, so why not jump there and fix that?”
Kayla thought about what he was saying as she popped some fries into her mouth. He was right. If there was purpose to these jumps, then the others could maybe be explained. This one, however, didn’t seem to fit the mold.
“I mean, what was this whole thing for? So I could watch you have nightmares? So, you could almost die? So, I could worry every second I was away that we’d jump while I was gone? We should have jumped to the night I was going to propose to you. That’s the night I needed to fix. A week ago, on that ladder while you were already halfway to your grave? What was the point? What was the fucking point of reliving this, Kayla?” He was riled up now and tore into the rest of his big mac.
“Maybe there’s not a point at all,” Kayla said. “Maybe that’s the answer is that there’s no actual point.”
“Wha?” he asked with a mouth full of hamburger.
“We’ve been comparing our jumps to TV shows and science fiction. But those things are fiction, don’t you see? Maybe what’s happening to us is just random. No purpose to it.”
“Nah, baby, I can’t believe that. This isn’t normal stuff, here. Middle-aged us going all Invasion of the Body Snatchers with young us? That sound normal to you, Kayla?”
“Obviously not, I never said it was! Steve, we’ve been struggling to find something familiar to explain all of this, and what I’m saying is that maybe we’re not supposed to set anything right and there’s some other thing going on.”
Suddenly, Kayla saw Stefano in her mind’s eye, laughing at her, telling her that he has big plans for her children. The color drained from her face.
“Someone’s doing this to us, Steve,” she barely whispered, pushing her fries away. “This isn’t an accident. This is Stefano. I know it.” She watched her husband’s reaction carefully. He was still and silent. “I dreamed it.”
“You dreamed a lot of things, Kayla, you dreamed your children were right in front of you.”
“Yeah!” she said, “I did! And I dreamed they were taken, which they were. Because we were taken from them. First he took you, now he took both of us. He said—“
“In your dream? You’re telling me what he said while you were having fever dreams, baby?”
“Yes, but—“
“Nah. Kayla, no, come on now.”
“Would you stop shutting me down! You want these jumps to make sense, well you can just forget it, ‘cause they don’t. Jumping through time is not something that can be made to make sense, it can’t be explained. But I’ve seen some impossible things that Stefano made happen—“
“Yeah, he and that witch doctor of his.”
“—and if he could make John think that he was Roman so perfectly that he had his own sisters and brother and parents fooled, and if he could make Hope believe that she was someone else for so long, and make you forget who you are …” Steve bristled. “… then who’s to say that he’s not behind this, too. Maybe he wants us to suffer. Maybe he’s trying to kill us, abandon us in some time that we can’t find our way out of.”
Steve was still stuck back on “forget who you are,” and his face darkened. “I’m sorry I forgot you, Kayla.” His voice was a ragged whisper. Then he pounded the table and yelled, “I’ve hated myself every day for doing that!”
“No!” She took his hand in hers and ran her hand through her hair, “It’s not about blaming you; I don’t, you know that, and I don’t want to have to tell you again. It’s about the impossible things that man has made happen.” Steve let her squeeze his hand in hers and stroke this one insecurity he had left about them, the fact that Stefano found a way to break him. “And I believe my dreams were telling me something. About us, about our … baby … and I think Stefano is doing this to us.”
Steve exhaled with frustration and shoved himself against the back of the chair. He fumed as he eyed her unfinished fries and asked, “You gonna eat that?”
“Help yourself.” She smiled as he wolfed them down.
“What are you grinnin’ at, baby, I’m hungry.”
“Some things never change, Steve Johnson. Always stealing my fries.”
“Hey, you were done with ‘em.”
“Yes, I was.”
They looked at each other and smiled.
“You turn me on when you’re yelling like that,” Kayla said.
“We don’t need Stefano, ‘cause you’re gonna kill me first.”
They cleaned up dinner and played several rounds of gin rummy with the deck of cards Steve had found in the living room. They sat on the floor on either side of the small coffee table as the snow fell outside. Eventually, Kayla started to feel like she couldn’t stay up another minute. And they headed to bed.
“I feel like I just woke up,” Steve said.
“You did, it hasn’t been that long.”
The lights were out as she snuggled against him, the cooling embers of the fire glowing softly across the room. Steve placed a finger under his wife’s chin and pulled her lips to his. He reveled in the feel of her lips on his. He could kiss those lips all night as they turned their bodies to face each other so they could continue simply kissing each others’ warm, soft lips.
“Think we’ll be here in the morning?” Steve asked between kisses.
“Yeah, I think we will,” she said.
They laid like that for quite a while, kissing deeply and lovingly, like teenagers in love. And it felt good.
===========
The numbers were shocking. They streamed in, and he didn’t know what to make of them. It wasn’t quite going according to plan. It was almost going even better.