The humidity of the small, musty room was cancelled out quite nicely by the air conditioner’s cold air. The coolness was a definite relief from the summer heat when they first walked into the room, but now it sent an unpleasant chill over Steve’s body beneath the thin sheet. He let out a groan, pawing at the bedspread to try to find some heat. That’s when he realized the warmth of his wife’s body wasn’t where he last left it. Steve opened his eye and saw she wasn’t in the room.
“Kayla?” he called out. Getting no answer Steve was wide awake on a dime, panicked that she’d left him, after all. He whipped the sheet off and shot out of the bed. Utter relief washed over him when he heard the shower running behind the closed bathroom door. “Ooh, baby,” he sighed to himself as he dragged a had down his face, “you really had me worried there for a minute.” Then he chuckled. “You’re gettin’ old, dude. They’re gonna have to start fittin’ you with a hearing aid.”
Steve was so relieved. Last night had meant everything to him. He really thought they were done this time when he got on that plane for Prague; sure he’d messed up for the last time and that he’d never be able to be with her again. Not as her husband, not as her lover, and maybe not even as her friend. It was killing him. It’s why he got off the plane. Because if he didn’t it really would kill him.
Steve listened to the sound of the water and smiled as he remembered how it felt to make love to Kayla last night. Now that he had her back, he didn’t want to let any opportunity to connect with her pass him by. Steve quickly checked his watch on the table; it was just after 8am. They could have used a little more sleep, but they’d have a chance to catch up on some when their flight took off a few hours from now. In the meantime, the sound of the shower beckoned to him – in more ways than one. He glanced at the hotel room door, then back to the bathroom, stripped off his clothes and knocked softly on the bathroom door.
“Kayla?” he called. “Can I come in?” She didn’t answer him, so he cracked open the door. “Baby?” He could see his tee shirt on the floor in front of the toilet and grinned at how cute she’d looked in it. “Baaaaby,” he said in his deep, smooth baritone as he pulled the shower curtain aside and stepped into the tub behind her.
Kayla felt the air whoosh when Steve pulled the curtain aside and turned quickly with a startled yelp. She recoiled and crossed her arms over her chest while her heart leapt into her throat.
Steve was not expecting that reaction at all. “It’s me!” he assured her, “Shh, Sweetness, it’s just me!”
“Steve!” she breathed heavily beneath the cascade of water upon her shoulders. She swallowed very nervously and stammered a bit, not knowing what to say. “I—I’m—um…”
The fact that Kayla couldn’t quite find her voice was one thing. Her very protective posture, however? That was quite another. A cocktail of emotions coursed through him as he realized his error, chief amongst them being regret. He’d been afraid of going too far too fast, and now for the second time in just minutes panic, once again, rose up in him. In the few moments of uncomfortable silence Kayla never dropped her arms, and Steve showed her the respect of not dropping his eye from hers.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He would have backed away, but there was nowhere to go. “I … knocked, but … I thought …” What did he think? That just because they’d made love last night that he could now just walk into that shower and go back to how things were overnight? Like the last two years hadn’t happened? Well, they had happened. And now he just hoped he would be able to undo any damage this impulsive decision had caused. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I’ll, just …” he angled his head toward the curtain and started to step out.
“Wait.” Kayla reached out a hand to him and he instinctively took it. “You just, um … startled me.” But she was feeling so shy right now that she surprised even herself.
Steve could see by the look on her face that she wasn’t really being truthful. He adjusted his patch – something he only did these days when he was very anxious. “I did more than startle you. I did the wrong thing.” Kayla noticed that his eye wasn’t wandering, and she loved him for it. She shook her head but it came out in more of a shrug.
“Kayla. You can be honest with me.”
“Can I?” she asked him?
Steve nodded. “Always. There’s nothing you can’t say to me.”
“Even if you don’t want me to say it?”
“There’s nothing you can’t say to me,” he repeated, his gentle voice resonant in the tiny bathroom. “Ever.”
She nodded. “Ok. I’m … not ready for this.”
Steve gave her a little nod back. “I kind of got that, baby. So, why don’t you finish up, and then I’ll take my turn.”
“But,” she continued, “that doesn’t mean you have to leave.”
Now Steve looked at her sideways. “Say what?”
“I just mean, since you’re in here already, we can take a shower, and maybe it would be good for us.” But Kayla’s words weren’t quite matching the protective stance she still stood in. She sensed exactly what Steve was thinking, so rather than let it go, she met it head on. “I’m sorry I’m being shy,” she said. “I just need a little time for more. I mean, I know we just did more! I mean like broad daylight kind of more. I mean—oh my God,” she rolled her eyes, “I’m digging a hole.”
“Don’t be sorry, Sweetness. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have known better.” Something about that phrase gave Steve a strange pang of despondence. It felt very out of place, because he wasn’t upset with Kayla about her guardedness. He just wanted to do the right thing by her. But it was a blip, then it was gone. “Baby, we have time, so I’m gonna leave you to it, go on now.”
“No,” she said more forcefully, then gave him a very genuine smile as she squeezed his hand she was still holding. “I’m just saying that, ya know, you’re here. I’m here. We’re already wet, there’s plenty of soap, and I think you … may as well just stay.”
“Stay and …”
“And shower!” she emphasized with a frustrated chuckle, “Don’t push it!”
Steve held up his hands. “I’m not pushin’ nothin’, baby, just makin’ sure I catch your drift.”
Kayla narrowed her eyes at him as she tried not to laugh, because he didn’t need any encouragement for the cockiness he felt about his own wit. “Mm-hmm.”
“Now don’t worry, I’m not gonna look.”
Kayla grinned knowingly at him. “I did notice that you haven’t yet. Besides, I’m a bit of a mess, here.”
“What? Come on, baby, you’re beautiful.”
“Hmmp. Well I did notice that you haven’t looked yet. Thank you,” she said sweetly.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t.”
Kayla raised her eyebrow and let her gaze drop to his midsection for a moment before looking back up at him. “I think you’ve got something goin’ on down there,” she said.
“Somethin’ goin’ on, huh?”
“Yeah. A little pokey down there.”
“Pokey? Yeah, ok, sure. But, don’t be afraid of him, now, see, that’s just what happens whenever he’s near you. He thinks you’re just as beautiful as I do.” Kayla smiled. “So now gimme some of that soap.”
Kayla turned her back to him and reached over to hand him the bottle of bodywash that she was already done with. He took it and turned to face the back wall.
Despite their playfulness, an awkward silence descended on them as they cleaned themselves. Kayla didn’t like feeling this way and was looking forward to peeling back these apprehensive layers between them. She knew the love was there, and she knew Steve knew it, too. She felt it last night, and she felt it here in this shower. And if she was honest with herself, she was actually surprised at her level of apprehension and wasn’t really sure why it was still there. What she was sure of, however, was that she believed in them.
Kayla turned her head to look back over her shoulder coquettishly. “Well, I guess you can peek if you want.” Steve turned his own head to see her looking at him like a minx. He didn’t need a second invitation. He slowly gazed down at Kayla’s backside. She was so sexy looking at him over her shoulder, her hair wet, her eyes dewy. Steve felt utter relief flood through him in this moment. “Like what you see?” she asked.
Steve made a very purposeful motion of looking down at his crotch then back over his shoulder at her. “Yeahp, looks like I do.”
“Good,” she said.
They turned off the shower, Steve stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist, then he handed one to Kayla still behind the curtain.
Kayla stepped out, and Steve took another towel and lovingly dried her hair. She loved the feel of him doting on her like this, but she also knew that he was worried about them. She tousled his hair in her fingers, kissed him on the cheek, and ran a finger down his patch.
“I know you’re feeling weird, but really, it’s ok.”
Steve nodded. “Too fast.”
Kayla brought Steve’s palm to her cheek and held it there. “We’ll get there.”
He nodded again. “I know.”
“I do have a bit of a problem, though.”
Steve’s face fell. “What?”
“Well …” Kayla walked out into the room and fingered the clothing in Steve’s suitcase. “I’m feeling a little exposed here in just a towel. I have nothing to put on. It’s going to be a really bad look on me on the plane.”
“Right!” Steve blurted, “I almost forgot!” He went to look out the window.
“Forgot what?” she asked, truly confused.
“I took care of that for you.”
“You took care of that?”
“Yeah.”
“My having-nothing-to-wear problem.”
“Yeah.” Steve dug his phone out of his bag and tapped at one of his apps.
“Steven Earl Johnson, if you think for one minute that I’m going to spend the entire next two weeks naked in bed with you—”
“Relax, baby,” he smirked as he wrapped the wide, leather band of his watch around his wrist, “anybody ever tell you you’re jumpy?”
“Steve,” she warned.
Just then a knock came at the door.
“Breakfast?” Kayla asked with equal parts frustration and hope.
“Sorry, not this time.”
“Just a minute!” he called.
Kayla retreated to the bathroom, Steve pulled on a pair of jeans, and then opened the door. He called out the all clear to her moments later, and when she emerged she was shocked to see a rather large Amazon Prime box sitting on her bed.
“What’s this?” she asked genuinely flummoxed.
“Sweetness, you got on that plane with me with nothin’ but your purse. We’re lucky you had your passport in there. I just wanted to make sure you had something else to put on.
Kayla’s eyes widened. “You … you got me something to wear?” Steve nodded. “H—how? Wh—when?”
“Last night when you were getting ready for bed. It’s not much, just a few things to tide you over till we get there.” Kayla picked up the box, then looked up at Steve. “I was afraid if I said somethin’ before it got here you’d get mad, and it would all go to hell.”
“Wh—mad?”
“I know I didn’t consult you or ask you first. What you wanted. But it was before we talked, and I just figured you were gonna need something else to wear. Just until we got there. Like I said.”
Kayla was amazed. She put the box down, wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck, and kissed him passionately. Steve moaned softly into her kiss and wound his hands into her wet hair. “Baby,” he said between kisses. “I don’t think you’re mad.”
“Do I sound mad?” she asked as she pressed herself into him. Steve shook his head as they continued to eat at each other’s lips. Finally Kayla pulled back and stoked her fingers through his own damp hair. “This is an exception. Gifts are always exceptions.”
Steve smiled. “What about surprises?”
Kayla screwed up her face in a knowing look. “Ok, what did you do?”
“Well, I did book us a room at Lake Louise.”
“O-kaaaay, but I saw you do that at the airport.”
“Well, you don’t know which room I got.”
“Is it better than this room?”
Steve laughed. “You’d better not be insulting this room, Sweetness, we made love in this room.”
“Ok, fair enough,” she laughed back. “Sure, surprises are fine. Probably.”
“Probably?!”
“Nevermind. There is just one thing, though.”
“Uh oh. What?”
“It feels like you bought me a wardrobe.”
“I didn’t, I swear, it’s just a few things.”
“Can I open it?”
“Well, you’re the one still in a towel, Sweetness, so unless you plan on flying to Canada that way, I’m thinkin’ you should.”
“I think you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Kayla laughed.
“I would, but TSA would frown upon it.”
Kayla laughed again, and Steve truly delighted in the genuine sound of it. He sat down across from her in opposite chairs as they had the night before while she had a look at what he’d chosen for her.
“Wow!”
“Is that a good ‘wow?,’” he asked as she dove into the box.
“Oh yeah. Steve, this is amazing.”
Kayla was truly astonished to find pretty much everything she was going to need for the next 24 hours, plus a little more if they got grounded again. The first outfit consisted of a pair of cropped jeans in exactly her size, and a breezy boho, square-necked blouse with short sleeves that gathered with a femininity that was exactly her taste. The second outfit was a pair of comfy black yoga pants, a short sleeved, white tee, and the softest, butter yellow hoodie. If that wasn’t enough, there was a three-pack of Hanes white cotton underwear, a matching three-pack of white, no-show socks, and to her serious amazement, Keds in size seven-and-a-half.
“I can’t believe this,” Kayla said completely ogling the array. “I … I was only in the bathroom for like ten or 15 minutes!”
“Yeah, Amazon kind of shows you stuff. They’re Big Brother.”
Kayla took Steve’s hands from across the table. “No. You just know me. You just really know me.”
Steve smiled and nodded. “I do, Sweetness. You dropped everything and got on a plane with me. For us. To fix us. Without even thinking of yourself. I just wanted you to be comfortable.”
“Thank you.” She said, kissing Steve’s knuckles. “I love all of it. It’s perfect, it really is.”
“I’m glad, baby. When we get to Lake Louise you can do all the shopping you want. We’ll buy you a suitcase, too. Until then, we can get whichever of these outfits you don’t wear today into my bag.”
“Ok. And the dress, too.”
Steve stiffened. It was an involuntary reaction, and he worked fast to cover. “Yep, dress, too.”
He didn’t work fast enough, though, as Kayla saw it, and she knew that look in his eye, too. It was jealousy. The truth was that Kayla liked it when Steve got jealous. Just a little bit went a long way; it made her feel good, and it usually turned her on. Too much was a serious problem. And Kayla feared that right now, this jealousy was being fueled by the elephant in the room – the fact that not 24 hours ago she was walking down the aisle to another man. She’d slept with another man. She’d loved another man. And it was clear to her that this wedding dress was a symbol of that elephant. She wasn’t about to leave the dress behind, but she knew this wasn’t going to be the last time it reared itself.
Kayla didn’t want to mar this beautiful moment, though, so she filed the great big elephant away to talk about later.
“Thank you,” she said again. “I really do love all of it. You’re so thoughtful, I can’t believe you even got me shoes.”
“I had to go a half size up,” Steve said, “they were out of size 7.”
“I can work with that.”
Steve finished dressing in the bathroom to give Kayla a little privacy and was happy to see her in the jeans and white blouse when he emerged. She was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. Her hair was air drying, she’d packed up the dress and the rest of what Steve had purchased into his now relatively full bag, she grabbed the toothbrush from the bathroom that the front desk had given her from, and she was ready to go.
Steve packed away the last of it, electing to leave the truly awful liquor behind. “You ready?” he asked.
“I am now,” she replied, twirling in the same way she’d done the night before. They both chuckled, but there was still an awkwardness in the air.
Why am I so nervous? Steve asked himself.
“What’s wrong?” Kayla asked. “I can tell something’s bothering you.” And she didn’t think it was the dress.
Steve crossed over to the window and leaned his back against it as he placed his hands on his hips. “I dunno.” Kayla didn’t follow him; instead she patiently let him ruminate on it. Finally, he continued. “I think I’m still scared that it’s all gonna fall apart. I feel so close to you, baby. And last night. I’ve never been so happy in my whole life. To have another chance to love you. But I know—I know it’s my last chance. My very last chance. And I’m just—” he took a deep breath and let it go, “—we feel off, Sweetness. And I’m scared I’m gonna fuck it up.” He was barely able to get the last part out, because saying it out loud scared him a hell of a lot more than feeling it.
Kayla felt a weird sort of comfort in knowing that she wasn’t the only one who still felt awkward. And while she wasn’t sure why before, it was coming to her now. “I think,” Kayla said carefully from the spot she still stood in by the table, “that it’s not a light switch. Maybe it was once, but it’s been two years. That’s a long time.”
“So was 16.”
“This is different. A lot has happened between us, and a lot has happened outside of us. And I don’t think we have the luxury of a light switch anymore. I think now it’s more like a dimmer. It’s going to take some time to work this out.” Steve looked up and away from her as he worked a muscle in his jaw. “I know that’s not what you want to hear, but don’t you think it’s going to take some time?”
“I’m not a patient man.”
“Good things come to those who wait.”
“Ya know what, a long time ago, you tried tellin’ me you were tired of waiting.”
“Well, it’s not a long time ago anymore, is it? But the light is already on, Steve. Can you see it? And if we work on this, then that dimmer will get brighter.”
God, his wife was so wise. “You love me, Sweetness?”
“Always and forever,” she said with the most beautiful smile. “You love me?”
“Always, Sweetness. And forever.”
It was a good thing they had two weeks to work this out. Because they were going to need it.
Steve and Kayla left room 512 of this somewhat divey hotel where they were finally able to reunite, and made their way back to the airport where a plane was waiting to take them the rest of the way to Lake Louise, in Alberta, Canada.