It had been two years since Steve and Kayla had been together. There were longer separations, some feeling more permanent than others. But this was the one that was fresh in their heads. And their hearts.
Kayla made an impulsive decision when she left Salem with Steve yesterday afternoon. She was without anything but the wedding dress now on a chair, her sister-in-law’s shoes, and the little she had in her purse. But she had Steve’s tee shirt and sweatpants, and she had Steve.
What Kayla didn’t have was security. She had his love, she knew she’d always have that. But the security of her husband not being too afraid of her fragility or safety to be with her … that’s a security she didn’t have as they sat in their own separate twin beds in this last hotel room in town. And it’s something she desperately needed.
Steve and Kayla had spent the last half a day together yet still far apart. Alone in their seats, alone in their heads, alone in their insecurity. The conversation hadn’t been deep or meaningful to this point. It had been mostly nervous small talk in the 15 hours it took for them to try to get to Lake Louise in Alberta, Canada. Where to go, who they needed to tell, how long to stay. Even now in the hotel room they were stuck in until another plane could take them the rest of the way, they hadn’t had the hard conversations. They did discuss their love for each other in the face of their guilt for how they got here, but real depth to the root of their problem had not yet been discussed. Because even now after all their years together and what they’d been through, they were both a little afraid of each other. Of hurting one another – and of being hurt.
They were together in this hotel room, though, and that was a start. Steve played his harmonica to tamp down his anxiety while Kayla changed in the bathroom. When she came out, however, he was completely amused by how cute she was in his clothes. He realized she was about as nervous as he still was when she did her little twirl. But beneath his amusement he just wanted to fix all this. Make it go away. Stop hurting his wife.
Every bit of their lives together was always within both of them. As Kayla got into her own bed, it was Steve who talked about the similarities to Stockholm first. Steve said he was a changed man now, but Kayla wasn’t so sure. Though talking about how much they cared for and believed in each other helped break down a little bit of the protective layers between them. Then Steve said the one thing that was truly the crux of the problem.
“I wanted to make you happy,” Steve said with love in his eyes as they reminisced about their last day in Stockholm so many years ago. “And I wanted to take care of you.”
Kayla felt that statement like a squeeze to her heart. Because it’s what kept standing between them like a threat.
“You always want to take care of me,” Kayla implored of him. “Do what’s best for me, protect me.” Her words made irrational fear of harm coming to Kayla race up Steve’s spine, making his pulse race. “Like when you told me that I would be better off with Justin. Or when you would just jump on a flight and disappear from my life.”
“I did that, because I—”
“Because what?!” Kayla interjected. “Because what? How many times have you done what’s best for me? Without consulting me. Or making decisions about my life and about what I want and what I need, without eve asking me?
Steve knew she was right, but hearing the pain in her voice broke his heart. He knew that Kayla was her own person and capable of making her own decisions. But his abject fear of losing her to the very real threats in their lives paralyzed him. It was like a phobia that took over every rational thought that he tried to maintain. The result was one bad decision after another. Every one of them were made with only Kayla’s well-being in mind, but they were what drove this very wedge between them, and he didn’t know how to stop.
“I’m still afraid I’m gonna hurt you, Sweetness,” Steve rasped.
Kayla heard her husband’s voice break, and she saw the fear on his face. No one knew Steve as well as she did, and she understood what was roiling within him. While that didn’t mean his actions hadn’t caused damage, it also didn’t mean that she didn’t love him.
“We’re together now,” Kayla whispered, trying, herself, not to cry.
Steve couldn’t go on like this. Kayla was right there, but she wasn’t here. In bed with him. He needed to feel the comfort of her body next to his, but he was afraid to move too fast. So he retreated to getting some sleep.
Kayla, however, needed more than this. As she rolled away from Steve in her own bed, she felt the progress they’d made start to slip away.
“Kayla,” Steve suddenly called out to her. “That habit I have of making decisions for you without asking you first …”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not gonna do that anymore.”
Kayla smiled. He’d said things like this before, but for the first time she felt like he really meant it. Like he knew this was his last chance to really make this change. Not for her, but for them.
Kayla turned to look at her husband. He was rolled over and away from her, and the need to be with him hit her so hard it was like fighting a magnet. She needed to feel Steve beside her. She needed to feel the security of his touch and the love within every stroke of his fingertips upon her skin.
Steve was genuinely surprised to feel his wife’s hand upon his shoulder. “Are you sure?” he asked as she looked down upon him. He was so relieved when she nodded. He could see she loved him, and he just wanted to hold her. He’d wanted to hold her for weeks. He was afraid to breathe for fear that if he did, he’d wake up and this will have been a dream.
Steve exhaled with equal parts nerves and relief as Kayla slipped into bed beside him. He stroked the back of his hand over her forehead and felt so much love for her it made his eyes well up. Kayla leaned in to kiss him, and Steve couldn’t take his eye off her while he kissed her back.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. Kayla felt such tenderness from him; like a warm blanket of love and devotion as he touched her. She knew Steve loved touching her face, and she loved it when he did.
This time when their lips met, Kayla felt desire stir within her. It rushed up from the tips of her toes, up to her lips, and back down to settle in her belly. Steve was emboldened by the intensity of Kayla’s embrace; it felt so good to feel his face in Kayla’s loving hands. When she nestled herself more tightly against him he was overcome. He wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her passionately. Their lips met in long, lingering kisses, deepening more with every moment.
Kayla needed Steve’s kisses. She needed them like food to a starving man. He gave then to her, and she returned them with abandon. She wanted to enfold herself within his embrace. She wanted to feel him touch her body. And she wanted to feel the intimacy of their love.
Steve broke from Kayla’s lips to kiss her neck. He pulled the collar of her tee shirt to expose the spot where her neck met her shoulder that he knew drove her crazy. He placed a wet kiss there, and felt himself harden when she moaned in pleasure. He went back to her lips while Kayla stroked his buttocks; they connected in desperate, passionate kisses. Steve held Kayla tightly around her shoulders with his left arm as he gently palmed her breast with his right. He ran his thumb over her erect nipple and knew he had to stop before it was too late.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed heavily, pulling away from her.”
“Why?” Kayla sighed. “What do you mean?”
“I … I’m getting carried away.”
Kayla gazed up at him, smoldering with half-lidded eyes.
“I want you to get carried away,” she whispered sexily.
Steve grinned, happy she wanted him, because he wanted her so badly he ached. But he didn’t want to rush them before Kayla was ready. “Sweetness. You’re a passionate woman. I know you want me right now.” Kayla smiled up at him as she let her hand move from his buttocks to his rock hard erection. Steve gave her a cocky, very wanton smile back. “And I think you know how bad I want you, too. But I … I’m …”
“You’re what?” She replied tenderly even amidst her desire.
“I’m scared,” Steve whispered. “Of going too fast.”
Kayla reached up both of her hands to caress Steve’s face. She curled her fingers into his beard and closed her eyes in thought. Steve started to move off of her. “No!” she insisted. “Stay here. With me.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Sweetness.”
“I mean, stay right there. I need to feel you there.”
Steve nodded. “Ok,” he smiled. “But this isn’t makin’ it any easier to stop.”
“I don’t want to stop. Feeling you … hold me … inside me … makes me feel … ”
“Safe,” Steve finished her sentence. Kayla nodded. “Making love to you, Sweetness, makes me feel safe, too.”
Kayla nodded. “Like nothing can touch us.”
“Yeah.” Tears rimmed Steve’s eye again, and Kayla couldn’t help it when hers did the same. “God, baby, I want to feel you around me so bad.”
“Kayla leaned up and kissed him again. Show me how much you love me.”
Steve gently lowered his lips back on to Kayla’s and lost himself in the feel of them. He would never tire of kissing her. He sat up against the pillows and brought Kayla over to straddle him. He ran his hands over the warm skin of her back under his tee shirt, and Kayla felt his erection against her crotch. Her husband looked at her as he moved to caress her bare breast for the first time in so long. Kayla’s eyes again fell to half, and Steve wanted nothing more than to make her feel good.
Kayla rose up on her knees as Steve lifted her tee shirt, any apprehension that had been within them forgotten. He licked at her stiff peaks, treasuring her with his mouth. Kayla sighed softly and rubbed her center against him. “I love you,” she cooed as Steve gave an equal amount of attention to her other breast. Steve held her by her hips and guided her to rub herself against him again. She did so several more times, and she began getting desperate to feel him inside of her.
Kayla sat back, her breast coming out of his mouth with a smack. She fondled his chest and traced the ink of his dagger beneath his own tee shirt. She didn’t need to see it, her fingers knew its contours. Steve started to lower the waistband of her sweatpants. In one quick move, she’d raised enough for him to get then down over her rear, then she shimmied out of them the rest of the way and kicked them to the floor beside the bed. Steve raised his hips so Kayla could do the same for him, releasing his hardened penis from his pajama pants, now in a heap on top of hers.
Kayla gently stroked his erection in her palm. Steve closed his eye to the feel of her soft hand. It had been so long since he’d had her touch. “Sweetness,” he moaned as his head lolled back against the headboard. She released him and pulled his head toward her for more tongue-filled kisses. They were both heady and could feel their desire for each other. Kayla hovered over her husband’s shaft, her wetness making Steve shiver with need. He quickly lifted her chin by his forefinger and looked her in the eyes. “Are you sure, baby?”
Kayla leaned over and kissed Steve’s patch. “What do you think?” she replied softly.
“I think,” he said, “that I’ve never loved you more than I do right now.” Kayla felt tears sting at the back of her eyes. Steve embraced Kayla and rolled them over. “Let me prove it to you.” It was the last thing he said to her before he gently slipped inside of his wife for the first time in two years.
Steve and Kayla both gasped as their souls finally met. He whispered his wife’s name with loving tenderness and stroked the hair back off her forehead as he began rocking back and forth inside of her. Gently at first, comforted by the feel of her. But it didn’t take long for Kayla’s warmth surrounding his shaft to intoxicate him with sexual need.
Kayla loved the feel of Steve inside of her, and she would never stop craving the way she felt right now. How beloved she knew she was to Steve; how cherished their lovemaking made her feel.
Kayla felt her climax begin to build with his first stroke against her clitoris and knew she was going to come right away. She fondled his buttocks and met every one of his thrusts with her own. She didn’t need words for Steve to know she was about to come; even after so long apart, he knew his wife’s body language. He wanted to make her feel good and didn’t hesitate to feed her desire.
“I love you,” he whispered hotly in her ear while continuing his thrusts. “Always and forever, Sweetness.”
Kayla whimpered out Steve’s name and then stilled for just a moment before bucking against him. Steve decided many years ago that there was never anything so beautiful as his wife at the height of orgasmic pleasure. As he watched her come, he decided that was still true.
“God, baby,” Steve said in awe. “You’re so beautiful.” Kayla was speechless as the waves of pleasure continued to wash over her. She smiled in satisfaction then opened her eyes. Steve had stayed his motions, not wanting to overstimulate her. The devotion on his face was overwhelming. His eye was red, and she knew he was holding back tears.
“Shh,” she said gently. Steve shook his head and fought the lump in his throat. “Shh, baby.”
“Kayla … I’m so happy I could give that to you. You don’t know how much.”
“I know.” She kissed him gently. “I know.”
“I thought I’d never be able to again. I thought I’d really lost you this time. I did.”
“But you didn’t lose me. And you did give that to me. And it was wonderful. And now I want the same for you.”
Still connected, Kayla rolled over and straddled Steve as she had before and quickly began gliding back and forth over his still hardened penis. Steve moaned in pleasure and immediately supported her hands in his so she could balance. The exquisite friction sent little pulses of pleasure into his groin at a fast and furious rate. He thrust up into Kayla as she rode him, their movements in perfectly synched pleasure.
Kayla placed Steve’s palms over her breasts and used the leverage he provided her to ride faster and harder. The movements drove Steve into sexual bliss. He rubbed his thumbs over Kayla’s nipples, sparking a sudden tingle deep within her. The sounds he made drove her on. She moved her knees back just slightly so she could take even more of him inside of her.
Steve knew his tip was rubbing at Kayla’s g-spot when she let out a loud gasp. He felt his climax over the next ridge but desperately wanted to give his wife another orgasm.
“Come with me, baby!”
Steve’s words drove her stamina. “Almost,” she breathed heavily, “almost!” She could feel him holding back until finally her vaginal muscles clenched around him with a second, powerful orgasm. It was all Steve could take as he finally came with her.
Steve cried out her name as he poured his essence and his love into her. He gave her everything he had; his love, his seed, his soul, and the solemn promise of forever.
Kayla collapsed on top of her husband and buried her face in his neck as he held her tightly against him. They both caught their breath and lay still as they drifted back to earth. Finally, Steve withdrew from his wife and sighed. He wished he could stay inside of her forever.
Kayla began giving Steve small kisses. She covered his neck, his chest, and his face in little pecks, every one of them filled with her love for him.
“Oh,” he exhaled heavily, “I’m never lettin’ you go again.”
“You’d better not,” she replied with a small smile. Steve stroked her hair, still in the now messy bun of her wedding updo. She never wasn’t beautiful to him. He kissed her and looked into her eyes meaningfully. “I love you,” she said.
“I love you, Sweetness.” He was so grateful for her he could barely speak. “Now and forever.”
“Now and forever,” she repeated to him.
Steve felt intense happiness as Kayla burrowed her head into his neck and nestled into him for the night. Kayla felt the warmth of her love for him like a blanket of contentment covering them both.
There was more to talk through. More to discuss to fix their relationship. And their marriage was … no longer officially whole. But right here, right now, in this bed, their intimacy had returned. And it was the beginning of a long two weeks together that were going to be very difficult. And very beautiful. And very permanent. Steve and Kayla’s hands intertwined, the bond of their touch a balm that would continue to heal them through the night. Kayla kissed Steve’s hand as it held fast to hers before they drifted off into the first truly peace-filled sleep either of them had had in months.