Steve was in a dead sleep when Kayla’s hand started roaming his abdomen. She’d slept very soundly and was still mostly asleep, herself, when she’d rolled over and reached for his warmth. When she found it her instinct led to reach for more. Small strokes back and forth over his ribcage slowly became wider arcs. The familiar feel of his skin beneath her palm elicited contented sounds from her. Still in sleep, Steve began reacting when Kayla’s fingers drifted upward and traced around his pectoral muscle.
They hadn’t woken up with each other like this in a very long time. Separated by time, anger, and grief, this was the first time they woke up with their primary partners and feeling so much more like themselves again in weeks. The feeling glowed warm in their souls all night, and now in these first wakeful moments, they felt the tenderness for each other with a true devotion. Kayla’s instinct to fulfill that devotion was strong. It consumed her thoughts in sleep and now spurred her actions upon waking.
The sweet strokes of her fingertips around Steve’s pecs became a more erotic expression with the tracing of her nail around his nipple. Steve let out a very deep sigh. He came more fully awake when he felt his wife’s sweet kiss against the side of his chest.
“Sweetness,” he breathed in a gravelly whisper.
She lifted the white undershirt he’d worn to bed to press her warm lips against him, and he loved feeling her there. A few more kisses down and over his belly, and the next thing Steve knew she was kissing those lips of hers to his penis through his underwear. He whispered her name again, with a different kind of appreciation.
Kayla liked mornings like these, when Steve didn’t wake up with an erection and she could bring him to hardness through her own actions, alone. She gently tugged down the waistband of his boxer briefs exposing his soft penis. She gave him one teasing lick and smiled when she felt his palm gently caress the back of her head in encouragement. Then she took his entire penis into her mouth and sucked him mercilessly into arousal. She added the caress of her nimble fingers to his ballsac and could feel the rapturous pleasure she was giving him.
Steve loved when Kayla made him hard like this. When his cock grew from softness to steel in a matter of moments surrounded by nothing but her hot mouth, stroking tongue, and plump lips. Very few things were as erotic as this, and it made him crazy with need to impale her. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they could be walked in on, and the thought of that was truly awful. But Kayla’s mouth was giving his body an ecstasy that blocked out everything but the need to continue feeling what she was giving him.
Kayla felt the frenzy she’d suckled her husband into and knew he wanted to come. She could feel it in the urgency of his grip on her hair. But she wanted to come, too. She released him with a final suck, and Steve whimpered. She looked up at the door and listened for just a moment, the thought of Stephanie’s intrusion on her mind, as well. Hearing nothing, it was the last time they’d stop before they were sated.
No words were spoken as Kayla kicked off her pajama bottoms. It was not fast enough for Steve, who ached with need to pour himself into her. He reached for her before she could get her matching pajama top off, and she used his strong arms to stabilize herself as she straddled her knees on either side of his hips. She lowered herself onto him, and they both closed their eyes to the feel of her wet walls squeezing around his cock.
“I love you, Kayla,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.” Kayla’s gyrations were slow and languid, the love she felt for him apparent in each stroke.
Kayla’s climax always came quickly in this position, and Steve loved to watch her come. He lasted just moments as her body shuddered, her ability to come in near silence making her unbelievably beautiful. Her contracting vagina squeezed as Steve thrust up into her hard just once, then his sac tightened, and he let the rush assail him. His moan was quiet but filled with the sexual satisfaction that flooded through him.
When their tremors ebbed, Kayla laid herself down on top of her husband, and he held her tightly. They whispered their love for each other in soft sighs and loving caresses, and when their lips met for the first time that morning, their souls felt the fulfillment.
Rolf had hoped that the slipstream would stabilize. He had hoped his warnings to them would be heeded. He had hoped that their graph lines would slip back into the sinus rhythm with each other that the beginning of this journey produced. None of Rolf’s hopes were realized. Instead the slipstream’s integrity only diminished, the ability for him to save it diminishing right along with it. This jump was lost to him as far as being able to reach them in any way, and he could only ascertain that this time in the middle of Mr. Johnson’s captivity with Stefano had gone relatively well for him. If it had gone in Stefano’s favor, the slipstream would have shown at least a small sign of stabilization. Which it had not. Rolf rubbed his bald pate with a frustrated hand and knew all he could do was wait.
Stephanie did not want to go to the YMCA program that filled most of her Saturdays. It was always a revolving set of monthly all-day programs every Saturday while her mother worked. Last month it was cooking, culminating in an impressive set of recipes for the kids to make at home over Thanksgiving. October it was crafting, and September was back-to-school sports. December was very exciting, because Kayla had signed her up for a specialty program, far more expensive than normal. This equivalent of automotive shop was Stephanie’s Christmas gift, and it was quite the process to get her in. Intended for high schoolers, Kayla had convinced the instructors that Stephanie was more than capable. They weren’t convinced that a child four years younger and the opposite gender than most of their participants was an exception they should make, but when she brought Stephanie to show them what she’s got, they were very impressed. She was so excited after her first class, but now she didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay home with her father.
Steve didn’t want her to go either. He knew the right thing was for her to to on as normal, and what was normal was for her not to appear to be in her house alone while Kayla worked. But the threat of Stefano’s men was very hard to get past and was seeding doubts in him where otherwise they may not have existed. How old were these boys in this program? Was it really smart for a ten-year-old girl to be surrounded by all these older boys? Would they be nice to her? But the other Kayla had already thought of this and back in November had arranged for the one other girl in the class, a 16-year-old, to keep a special eye on Stephanie, and all had gone quite smoothly. Steve and Kayla didn’t know any of this, however, because that knowledge left with Destination Kayla. Primary Kayla remembered quite well that one day a weekend she always worked, but this level of detail – which program which month and special buddy arrangements – was really vague. Between the calendar on the counter and carefully questioning Stephanie they figured out where their daughter was supposed to be, however, and Steve felt a little better when she said an older girl named Jessie was her partner. So, he accepted that this was how it had to go, and with a sigh of his own told his daughter she really had to go to her program, which she grudgingly accepted with a glower as she ate her breakfast.
Kayla was another story. She had to go to work, and this was a much different set of circumstances than she’d ever had before. The Emergency Center had a rotating set of emergent cases. One-off stories that began and ended with her. The hospital, however, had a set of long-term patients that were under what was supposed to be her knowing care. She was reminded of those charts she’d arrived into and got very nervous. Every specialty rotation came with its own challenges, but oncology was one of the last ones she would have chosen to improvise through. Her psychiatric rotation would have been worse, no question, but oncology?
“It’s bad, Steve. I’m not kidding, it’s really bad.”
“Baby, you know what you’re doing.”
“No, I don’t. I’m a surgeon, not an cancer specialist.”
“Were you a cancer specialist when you went through this rotation the first time?”
“No, I was a resident.”
“Well then you’re not any worse off now. Hell, aren’t you actually better off, you’ve got 20 years on yourself now.”
Kayla folded her arms and looked almost as pouty as her daughter had over her breakfast. “Yeah. But patient care is so specialized here. A bone is a bone is a bone.”
“I got a bone for ya,” he leered as he groped a little.
“But two patients in Stage 3 lymphoma could easily react very differently to their courses of chemo. I’m supposed to know their cases..”
“Baby, come on, you’ve been doctoring people for longer than some of these other docs have been alive. You got this.”
She did not, however, got this. From the moment she set foot into Cedars Sinai, she was iffy. Hesitant in navigating the halls, worried about adapting without drawing suspicion. For every colleague she remembered by name there were at least five on which she was vague at best. She made it to her office without incident where Dr. Raj Kumar and Dr. Stacy Tompkins were readying themselves for rounds. Raj was friendly and kind, admiring in his approach with Kayla. Clearly he looked to her for leadership, as well as friendship. She recalled many conversations with him over many a patient. Because Kayla took longer to get through med school, most of her classmates from her first classes were already on staff somewhere. Raj, Stacy and several other current residents in other rotations were from her graduating class, all of whom began their undergraduate degrees when Kayla had begun her med schooling. Raj thought this was completely amazing and admired how she balanced it all with work and single motherhood. He respected her, and they would remain friendly colleagues to the very day she’d begun jumping.
Stacy Tompkins was another story. This was a mean girl if ever there was one. There was one of her in every middle school, high school, college dorm, and neighborhood clique the world over. Girls like this had existed for hundreds of years, and they would continue existing for hundreds more. Environments would change through years, decades, and centuries, but the essence of elitist snobbery was never going to change. Whereas Raj greeted Kayla with a warm, “How are ya, Dr. Johnson,” Stacy didn’t greet her at all. That was just as ok by this Kayla as it would have been by the rightful one. Because this girl was from hell, and Kayla wanted nothing to do with her. Guess they can’t all be like David Gold and Raj Kumar, Kayla thought to herself.
“I think your color’s back,” Raj said.
Kayla smiled. “Thanks, Raj, much better, and thanks for covering for me.” Stacy smirked at her desk as she read through the charts.
“Well, I think you’re going to have to need a few more favors for me to catch up.” She smiled at the geeky element to his very charming personality.
Kayla had taken on the unofficial leadership role amongst the residents, because she was simply the most experienced in medicine and healthcare. Everybody respected her, she had a good rapport with them, and she never acted like she as “in charge.” They just kind of looked to her for it anyway. She remembered that Raj had looked up to her, and that she’d taken him under her wing a bit. She would have done the same for Stacy if the girl wasn’t such a snob. It was really too bad, because it was just this trio from one rotation to the next for three solid years of residency, and Stacy could have used the friend. But in her own mind the girl was still a big fish in a little pond, and she was wholly unwilling to hobknob with people below her pond’s imaginary social status. As a result, Stacy, by her own design, had very few friends at work.
After getting settled at her desk Kayla announced that she was ready to go.
“You don’t want to look at the charts first?” Stacy asked.
“I wasn’t being literal,” she chuckled. I meant I’m ready to go in general. Soon as you’re done with them I’ll take my turn.”
“You don’t want to discuss overnight events for our patients?” A quick glance at Raj told her this was her first faux pas.
“Of course, I do,” she said.
Stacy curled her lip. “Then what do you mean you’ll take your turn? What, are you sharing now?”
It all came back to her in a flood. Each of them was responsible for their own patient and worked one-on-one with their attending physician, but they all had a secondary knowledge of each other’s patients and collaborated as a resident team. This was their daily morning patient collaboration meeting that she was messing up. Now that it was all falling into place for her, she did her level best to backpedal as casually as she could.
“I just thought you might want to finish reading through the charts before I started the discussion.”
“Nope, I was just killing time before you got here.”
Raj’s lips were pursed into a straight line, his opinion of his colleague perfectly apparent.
“Well, that didn’t take long,” Kayla muttered under her breath, which Stacy rolled her eyes at in true insouciance. Kayla, however, was not in the mood to be f*cked with.
“You know what, I think I am going to share today.” She went to Stacy’s desk, closed the chart she’d had open, and handed the stack to Raj. “Raj, would you please lead the discussion today? I think I could use a briefing since I was out yesterday.”
“Of course!” he said amiably, eager to impress the woman he considered a mentor to him. Kayla recalled that very little caused much of a reaction in Stacy, and that was because none of these people mattered enough to her to make her care, she just wanted to get through residency and begin her plastic surgery practice in Beverly Hills, where people mattered. This annoyed her enough to make her click her tongue, however.
Raj went through each of the nine patients, putting Kayla at far more ease than she otherwise would have been without the briefing. The first eight charts covered a range of cancers from lieukemia to brain cancer to breast cancer. The last chart they discussed was Scott Riley, because his testicular cancer case was the most complicated. She could see from her own notes when she examined the chart that this 16-year-old boy had a very aggressive cancer that had not responded after a round of chemotherapy and would be going back into the OR to remove his lymph nodes. This was very unfortunate. Overall some cases were alot more complicated than others, and as expected, this was not going to be a walk in the park.
They left for rounds right on schedule at 9am, and now would be a much bigger test. Every department head did things their own way, and Sam Granger liked for his residents to take the lead on their own patients. Kayla wanted to do exactly as Sam had said on the phone and see the Riley boy first, but she was still swimming with the current at this point and ended up with one of Raj’s patients, 52-year-old Charles Jackson, first. Raj’s style was professional with quite a charming bedside manner. Charles had prostate cancer with an extremely good prognosis on recovery and very little treatment. So, Raj’s somewhat goofy reserve worked very well for this patient. He was very likely to be cancer-free for the rest of his life, but there wouldn’t be a whole lot of erections for him any time soon. The man was just happy to be alive, though, and made a lot of erectile dysfunction jokes with Raj, because that’s just who Charles Jackson was. Kayla observed very closely, because she had a feeling she wouldn’t be jumping before she’d need to interact with this patient again.
Kayla was now ready for Scott Riley, but Stacy steered them into her patient’s room next. A very young woman with Stage III breast cancer who’d elected a prophylactic double mastectomy. She was very ill with severe bronchitis after the chemo treatments obliterated her resistance and left her vulnerable. Now her chest incisions hurt, her lungs were on fire with wracking coughs, and the chemo made her sick as a dog. Being hospitalized was a very different experience for her, and Stacy’s bedside manner was nothing like Raj’s. She wasn’t cold so much as without compassion. The girl had complained of intense nausea and asked for her anti-nausea drug to be increased. Kayla could certainly identify with how awful it felt to be nauseous all the time and felt for this girl. Seemed like a no-brainer that they should change her meds, but instead Stacy performed a quick exam, told the girl to look at it as a perk, made a notation in the chart, then left the room without confirmation one way or the other. Kayla could see that this girl was suffering and assured her that not all anti-emetics were effective for everyone, so they’d change her drug. Then she followed her colleagues out the door.
“Stacy, are you going to put in an order?”
“Yes, we’ll move her from Anzemet to Zofran.”
That was a relief. “Ok, good. I … you didn’t update the patient.”
“She doesn’t need me to update her, the nurse will tell her when she administers the IV.”
They were outside of Scott Riley’s room, but Kayla was bothered by what had transpired. The treatment was appropriate, but the patient interaction wasn’t. “Stacy, what did you mean, see it as a perk?”
“I mean she could stand to lose about 70lbs., so if she’s nauseous, maybe she won’t have as big an appetite.
Raj shook his head, and Kayla narrowed her eyes. “You’re kidding, right?”
“About needing to lose weight? No, I’m not. Melissa’s too heavy.”
“That’s the Medrol, Stacy, come on, even a first year med student can spot the side effects in her.”
“I never said the steroids weren’t making her swell. But she was too fat before the cancer. This could be her best diet ever.”
Kayla crossed her arms and stuck out her chin. “Are you seriously telling me you are seeing her this way?”
Stacy was genuinely annoyed at Kayla’s questioning. To her, Melissa Matteo was a bit repulsive to look at. She wouldn’t have chosen to be the girl’s doctor if she had a choice. She didn’t wish anything untoward upon her, certainly not the cancer. She just didn’t really care about her, she wasn’t Stacy’s kind. She didn’t have any friends that looked like Melissa, and she didn’t have a lot of sympathy for anyone who’d allow themselves to get fat, anyway. So to her, Melissa was just another patient. Her care was spot on for this patient, and she didn’t care if she was liked by her or not.
“As a fat girl? Yes, I’m seriously seeing her this way. Do you disagree with her course of treatment? Have I given her anything less than the very best care?”
“You’ve made her feel bad about herself!”
“No I haven’t. I’ve encouraged her to look on the bright side.” Kayla was speechless. “Now shall we move on?” Stacy turned to the computer terminal at the nurse’s station behind them to enter the order for Zofran while Kayla’s blood boiled.
“Is she always like this?” she whispered to Raj?” She didn’t need him to tell her the answer was yes.
Kayla calmed down, because Scott Riley was next, and now she was up. The minute she saw him she remembered this kid. Sweet, older than he looked, terrified. The second they entered his room, the boy’s father began laying into them about why his son wasn’t getting any better. Kayla felt very fortunate to have this lived this one, because she knew that Scott Riley was going to lose this battle with cancer, it was going to happen very quickly, and he was going to suffer every moment of the way. Kayla realized all of this in quite a rush and flew into the here and now as a Dr. Kayla Johnson that belonged here, rather than one who was visiting. She called in phlebotomy to run a new panel of tests, and she really felt badly when the tech couldn’t find a usable vein. Scott was a good kid in good health and good shape, but he didn’t have a vein to spare for yet another stick and actually cried when the tech tried a fourth time. Thanks to Kayla’s years of beng a nurse, she spotted two veins that would work and encouraged the tech to use only one of those. Finally she was able to fill her five vials, and Scott turned over and tried to sleep. Kayla wanted to be able to save this boy. If she was still here Monday she was going to talk to Sam about it.
Six patients later, Kayla was at her desk mentally shaking her head at the stupid mistakes she’d made so far. Names she’d gotten wrong, patients she wasn’t up to snuff on, obscure offices she wasn’t sure how to find anymore. Raj had a few moments that struck him as odd, but he was an amiable guy and didn’t give it much thought beyond his admiration in her compassion and how she juggled her life. Stacy gave her the stink eye on more than one occasion, however, and wondered how someone like her got into med school in the first place.
At lunchtime Kayla got a tray from the cafeteria and brought it back to her desk. Many residents said hello to her as she went through the line, and faking her way through a lunch with any of them was going to be too much too soon. She wasn’t as nervous for the rest of her day as she was for the first part, because it would mean less people interaction. But she was still anxious and felt the urge to talk to Steve to help center her. But Shane had told them to avoid using the landlines right now, and Steve had left what had been Nick’s cellphone in Las Vegas. So, she did the next best thing and followed his lead.
Dear Steve,
I just saw you three hours ago, but I miss you. I’d be lying if I said my first day back at my old job was easy. I know it hasn’t been that long since I’ve seen a lot of these people, but it feels like a very, very long time. I feel pretty good about the procedures and my schedule now, but I made so many mistakes along the way. It’s not so long ago that I don’t remember any of it, I remember pretty much all of it, but it’s fuzzy. Little things make a big difference, and it feels like they all know I’m an imposter and that I don’t belong here. It wasn’t like this at the Emergency Center. I know alot of these people even in 2009, but it feels so much more foreign. Why is that?
My rotation team is interesting. I’m still friendly with Raj, I saw him a couple years ago at a medical conference. He’s a real sweet kid right now, and he’s going to become a really smart infectious disease specialist. My other teammate is Stacy. I don’t know what ever happened to her. She’s pretty awful, so I probably shouldn’t care. She doesn’t like me, I’m not upper-class enough. She’s one of those girls that were ultra popular in high school. I don’t know how she made it through college with all the evening out of the social circles, but I remember she had a hard time relating to people, because so few of them were good enough for her. She’s like Paris Hilton being forced to shop at Target with the common man. I also think she’s always had eyes for Sam. So, I’m not her favorite person.
I only have eyes for you. Kayla smiled, because the thought of her husband always made her smile. And lips. And hands. Then she giggled with the thought of putting those lips and hands on him. And all of them can’t wait to see you later.
Love, Kayla
Kayla smiled as she hit send. Steve was waiting for her. In her little house. In the year 2000. The She’d spent nearly ten years in that house wishing he was there with her in it. And now he was. It wasn’t her little house anymore, it was theirs. For as long as they were here in this time, that was their little house.
She started in on her charts, preparing orders, and attending to the treatments of her patients. She also made a few notes on Melissa Matteo and Scott Riley so she could talk to Sam about their care on Monday. It didn’t make a lot of sense, because neither of these people would living on into the next timeline. But she did it, anyway, because she just couldn’t help it.
Steve really hated being in the house by himself, because he was bored out of his mind. He played on the Internet, cleaned up the house, and took advantage of the van being gone by taking window measurements so Kayla could go buy some blinds. He found her email to him when he went to their secret email address to send her those measurements. The warm feeling he got seeing the message that was clearly for him from her spread throughout his body, pushing the overcast of boredom right out of him. It was short, but it was enough. He automatically felt an ally in this Raj he didn’t know, and a dislike for Stacy, whom he also didn’t know. He didn’t have to know them, her friends were his friends, and bitches who thought their sh*t didn’t stink could go f*ck themselves.
The last sentence of her email had a very interesting effect on Steve. It was kind of like reading her bucket list in Hawaii – it excited him. He was seeing words written on the screen that he could practically hear her say. And the intent in “they’ll all see you later” was making his penis stir.
Kayla was so relieved when her shift was over that she didn’t even remember going to her car, her feet just carried her there. She could tell when she saw Stephanie that she was just as anxious to be done with the day as Kayla had been. She admitted, however, that she did love the class, she just wished she could be home with her dad.
Steve practically met them at the door. They made a Stephanie sandwich in a big family hug upon arrival and were just very happy to see each other.
The van did not return that day, and Steve didn’t know if that was good or bad. If it wasn’t here, where was it? Kayla had watched very carefully, and she didn’t see anything like that van or either of the men lurking along her route. Her paranoia was high, so she was sure she’d think everyone was them, but the fact was that no one piqued her concern as far as she could tell.
“My baby wrote me an email today,” Steve said with a smile over dinner.
“I did?” Stephanie asked confused.
“Nah, baby, you’re my Little Sweetness, Mama’s my baby.”
“Ohh,” she said. “Why did you send him an email?”
Kayla grinned. She didn’t realize Steve would see it so quickly. She was going to tell him about it tonight and that their secret email address might be a good way to communicate until he could get a cell. How did he know to look?
“Well, we can’t use the house phone until Uncle Shane says it’s ok.”
“Those men?” Stephanie said softly.
“Mm-hmm.”
“They’re listening to our phone calls?”
“We don’t know for sure, but just in case.”
“It’s like we’re in a spy movie or something,” she sighed, wishing they weren’t.
“It’ll be over soon, baby girl.”
“And your papa isn’t gonna let anything happen to his girls.” He tousled his daughter’s thick hair, and she smiled. “That’s a promise.”
That night Kayla made good on her promise to have her eyes, lips, and hands on her husband. As soon as Stephanie was asleep Kayla closed their door, turned off the light, and began groping. The sex was very hot, their need to express their love for each other intense. Kayla had Steve’s dagger in her teeth when he pulsed his cum inside of her, but she hadn’t achieved her own climax yet. He’d been in this body long enough to know that he wasn’t going to be able to harden quickly enough to get her off right away. He laid on his back panting with the ecstasy of release, yet also the disappointment that his wife was without.
“Dammit. I’m sorry, baby.”
“Why are you sorry? I had fun.”
“You didn’t come.”
“You don’t know that. Maybe I did.”
Steve smirked and looked over at her. “Please, baby. I know that hot ltitle pussy of yours, and you did not come.”
Kayla chuckled. “Yeah, ok, ya got me.”
“I gotta do that Tantric thing Sting does, then I can get you off all night long,” he joked.
“You mean dry orgasm?”
Steve looked at her again. “Say what?”
“Dry orgasm,” she smiled evily.
“Is that what it sounds like?”
“Yep.”
“A) how the hell is there any such thing, and B), how the hell do you know about it?”
“Well, I’m not a sex therapist, but I’ve acquired a couple things. But, yes, it’s possible to have an orgasm without emission.”
Steve chortled. “An orgasm without emission? Where’d you learn to talk like that, baby?”
“In the Human Sexuality books that are part of every higher education science curriculum, so yes, and it’s called a dry orgasm, and it’s the basis for multiple male orgasm.”
Steve leaned up on his elbow. “As in I being the male could have multiple orgasms?” He tried to wrap his head around this but really couldn’t. “Ok, how does this work?”
“I don’t know,” she laughed, “I only know it exists. Something about getting to the point of no return and then stopping, then starting again.” If Steve’s dick could swell right now it would have. “Or something like that. Why don’t you research tantric sex while I’m at work Monday and you can practice on me when I get home.” Steve looked like he was actually mulling this over. “Steve?”
“Are you saying there’s a way for me to stay hard? Make sure you come every time?”
“Like I said, I might have come.”
“And like I said, I know your body, and you did not.” Kayla got quiet at this and laid her head down on the pillow. “Baby?”
“I’m fine,” she assured him. “Just thinking.”
Steve mirrored her position. “I was just messin’ with ya. What’s wrong?
“Its not that I didn’t get to come,” she said firmly.
“I know, you wouldn’t be upset about that.”
“I’m not upset.”
Steve took her hand and kissed her knuckle. “What?’
“You don’t … really … know my body. Not this one.”
“Sure I do.”
“No, you don’t. You haven’t seen my body nearly this old in three years. Every place we’ve been, I was in my 20’s pretty much that whole time.”
“Kayla,” he said gently, “it’s not your body or how you look. I know this body, because I know your reactions. I know how it moves, I know what it likes.”
“Then I don’t … feel different?”
“The other you asked me that the other night. And I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told her. Yes.”
Kayla blinked. “I do?” She was expecting him to say no, of course not. Instead he nodded.
“Yeahp.”
“Is – is that a good thing?” she asked hopefully.
“It’s not good or bad, it’s just different. You still feel like my Sweetness.” He kissed her knuckle again. She cast her eyes downward, but he tipped her chin back up to look at him. “Baby, you feel like you work out now, and you said that you do. Did you know you have weights in the closet?”
“I saw them there this morning.”
“You have muscles now in places you didn’t before, and your face looks a little different.”
“My face?!”
“I’ve never seen this version of you. It’s kind of like when you were 18. Still you. I didn’t get to grow with you into seeing this face every day, so it looks different. Kind of between the Kayla I left when I died and the Kayla I came back to when Jack brought me home. I love looking at it.” He pulled back the sheet and leaned up to look at her naked body. “I loe looking at all of you. You’re beautiful. You’re sexy. Look at those legs, baby, I could look at you walk on those legs all day long. So, yeah, you look a little different, but you still look like my wife, and I love you.”
“You always know how to make me feel good,” she whispered.
“I’m the one who got old, baby, not you.”
“You do not look old.”
“Kayla. I love you. But don’t lie to me. My body is thinner. My hair is thinner.”
“Your hair is short!”
“It was thinner when I jumped into it. I look a lot more like that orderly back in Cinci than I do the guy you remembered on the day I died.”
Kayla curled her fingers into his whiskers. “I don’t care which of you I have. I’ll take the Steve you are in whaever timeline I get you in. You’re right, you look a lot older. But you know what?”
“What?”
“I think you’re stronger.”
“Yeah?”
“Mm-hmm. I noticed yesterday, your arms are a solid knot of muscle, and I think you could lift me over your head if you wanted.
Steve fondled his wife’s breast. “Yeah, well maybe with all that tantric sex we’re going to have I’ll be able to do things to you with all kinds of muscles.”
Kayla got up to head to the bathroom. “You’re serious? You want to try that?”
“Baby, I just want you to get off before I hit that point of no return.”
When Kayla got back from the bathroom she had something behind her back.
“What’s that ya got there, Sweetness?” Steve singsonged.
“I got you a little something on my way home today,” she smiled. “You said you wanted pajamas?”
“Yeah. Those better not be sweatpants behind your back.”
Kayla cocked her head at him. “Really? I don’t know you by now? You hate sweatpants.” She held out four pieces of clothing folded neatly by the lady at Old Navy. Two pairs of pajama bottoms, and two very soft t-shirts to go with them. Steve immediately smiled, because without even unfurling them he could tell he loved them. He put on the Navy blue bottoms and t-shirt right away and felt instantly better about his daughter finding them in the morning. He’d save the dark gray ones for the next night.
“These feel good, baby, I hope we’re here long enough for me to get some good use out of ‘em.” He thanked her with a kiss, and they snuggled down and went to sleep.
It was still dark out when Steve rolled over on Sunday morning to see that he had two girls in bed with him, not just one. He had no idea when Stephanie had crawled into their bed, but when he cracked open his eye at nearly 5am their daughter was laying across the foot of the bed perpendicular to her parents with the edge of the quilt brought up over her legs. She sensed when he woke up and lifted her sleepy head.
“Hi Papa,” she creaked in the same sleepy voice she would have when she was all grown up.
“Well hi there, Little Sweetness,” he creaked right back. “When’d you get here?” She shrugged and then laid her head back down on her hands. “You ok?” She nodded. “Were you scared?”
“No.”
Steve leaned up a little. She didn’t sound right. “What is it?” A flash of worry burned up his spine that Stefano’s men were involved in his daughter’s presence here. “Is there something wrong?”
“No, I just woke up and … I just … I used to be on that side … when I come in … There’s no more room for me.”
“Ooooh.” Steve pulled himself up against the headboard. “I took your spot, didn’t I?”
“That’s ok.” They were whispering, and Kayla was sleeping through this conversation.
“Stephanie … is it ok that I sleep here? With your mama?”
“Yeah. You’re supposed to, this is your room now too.” Only she didn’t sound convincing.
“Is it weird? That I’m here?”
“No,” she insisted, I’m glad you’re here.” Ok, now she sounded sure. But then why was her slightly olive skin turning slightly pink. Oh crap, she didn’t see anything last night, did she? Or hear anything? “Are you mad?” she asked before he could think the worst.
“About what?” he swallowed nervously.
“’Cause I came in. The door was closed. Mama never closes the door. Are you mad I came in? I just … I always get in bed with her in the morning. Sometimes.”
His anxiety drained before it could really build. “No, Little Sweetness, I’m not mad. If you feel like you need to come in, you can come in.” But as soon as he said it he thought he’d better change that. “Tell you what. How about we’ll always sleep with the door open, and you can come in whenever you want. But if the door is closed you need to knock first and wait for us to tell you to come in.”
“In case you’re not dressed?”
“Exactly. Or in case we’re having a private conversation. And you can do the same thing if you need to get dressed or have a private conversation, you can close your door, too, and we’ll knock first.” Stephanie warmed to this quickly. “Baby, me being here now doesn’t change anything; you don’t have to feel like you can’t come in and be with your Mama.”
“And you!”
“That right, and me, too.”
“So, I can stay?”
“Right now?” She nodded. “Of course, you can, baby.”
“But there’s no room for me.”
“Oh, you wanna get in here, huh?” Stephanie nodded. It was a queen sized bed, it was going to be kind of tight. “Yeah there’s room, baby,” he said as he scooted to the outside edge. He was going to pull Kayla into his lap so that Stephanie could get in on the other side of her mother, but before he could Stephanie crawled in between her parents and hunkered down with Steve’s pillow, leaving him without one. That was not what he was expecting, but the warmth that spread through him as a result was beautiful. “We can share,” she offered, making room on the pillow, then promptly let the feeling of safety of having two parents on either side of her lull her right back to sleep. Kayla slept through most of it, but she finally stirred at this point with a sleepy moan. She looked at her clock before realizing that her daughter was snuggled right up against her. Steve was grinning when she finally caught his eye. The delight of this early morning family moment positively lit up his face.
The wondrous look on her face spoke the words she didn’t have to say as Steve’s eye misted over. “Baby,” Kayla mouthed silently. She reached for Steve’s hand over the girl between them, and Steve rested their joined hands on her quilt-covered hip.
“I never thought I’d have this,” he barely whispered in this wee morning hour. “I thought I’d missed it, Sweetness. I thought I’d missed all of it. The tear that fell over his lashes would go unnoticed by him as the depth of feeling radiated through his heart. “Now my little girl’s snugglin’ here with me. With us. We’re a family, Sweetness.” Steve sniffled. Stephanie slept. Kayla looked upon the three of them from somewhere outside herself and cried her own tears of happiness.
“We sure are,” Kayla whispered.
It was very bad for the slipstream. But it was very good for them.