Kayla felt her husband’s shoulders shake as she held him. He felt so different. He was bulkier, his chest was broader, his hair was so much shorter and blonder. This was the Steve of right after his time as Daniel Lucas. Marina, she thought with disdain. Not only was this one of the last times she’d ever want to jump to, she knew how much it upset Steve. That dream back at the pioneer village was enough to drive that home for her.
She tried to soothe him, but she was concerned about whatever must have just happened before she got there. Clearly, he had jumped first so he arrived first, and it seemed that something had taken place before she got there that he had to find his way through without her. Her mind raced as she held his head against her and whispered calming words.
The only time she’d been in Italy was when Jack had taken her there on his plane to tell Steve she was pregnant, just to find him holding Marina in bed. Other than his death, it was the most painful thing she’d ever been through in her life. She knew now that he hadn’t betrayed her. Lied to her, yes, but his devotion to her and their marriage had never waivered. It took her weeks to resolve it within herself enough to forgive him, but she eventually saw that what he did, while completely backwards and wrong, he did because of that devotion. Now that she was back in Italy, she would do what she could to not let the memory of that pain affect her. So far that wasn’t so hard, as Steve needed her.
It didn’t take long for Kayla’s mind to wander to really terrible possibilities as to what he maybe arrived into. Had her 1989 self rejected him? It was a distinct possibility. She rationally recalled what happened on that trip. She’d run away, back to the lobby, desperately tried to book a flight home while Jack pleaded with her to give Steve a chance. Steve hadn’t known she was there then. Did he do things differently this time? Change things like he did with that reporter back at the Deveraux estate? Maybe this time he’d followed her to the lobby. How did she get into his hotel room? Was this his hotel room? Please don’t let this be her room.
After a minute, Steve calmed down and just nuzzled her neck and started kissing her face all over. Lovingly, with the gentle lips of this man who loved her so much.
Kayla lifted his face to look him in the eyes. “Steve,” she smiled warmly at him then kissed his lips. “Tell me … tell me.”
“Sweetness,” he rasped then exhaled. He stroked her hair, not really noticing the wisps he was dislodging from her ponytail. Kayla dried his cheeks with the pads of her thumbs.
“Is this when I saw you in bed with – I mean when I saw you sitting on Marina’s bed. When I flew to Italy?”
Steve nodded. “Baby … you just told me about Stephanie. I don’t go home and hear it from Jack. You just told me.” He smiled. “That we’re having a baby. It was beautiful, Kayla. You told me with this love in your eyes, and you put my hand on our beautiful baby.”
“I did?” Her hand went to her belly and felt the firm bump. A thrill coursed through her. “I’m pregnant … I’m pregnant here!”
Steve smiled at the light in his wife’s eyes. Where just moments ago there was darkness there was now light. “How does it feel?”
“Incredible!” And it really was. She did feel so special. She felt that baby inside of her and let a tear slide down her face. Her eyes were wide with such happiness, and Steve drank her in. “So, that was good, happy crying? Just now?” she asked hopefully but with doubt.
Steve looked down at Kayla’s belly. “Not really all of it, no. I think it was relief. And release. Of all of it that just happened. Before you jumped in.”
“So, something didn’t go right just now did it? I mean, something changed if I told you I was pregnant, that didn’t happen last time, so that’s good. But something went wrong?”
Steve reached up again to adjust his patch and just got eyebrow. He clicked his tongue in frustration that he wasn’t going to have that nervous habit to rely on. “I wouldn’t say that, either, actually.” Kayla’s expression turned confused.
“When I got here she was in my – in my arms. She’d just screamed my name, and I came running in, I guess, before I got here.” Kayla was silent and didn’t react, letting him get it out. “I knew right away it wasn’t you I was holding. I could smell her. Smell her perfume. She felt cold. I knew right away it was all wrong, baby, I did, I swear I did.”
“Shh, ok, it’s ok. So, I wasn’t there yet …” she prompted.
Steve nodded. “Yeah, you weren’t, but this you was.” he sighed. He was still cradling her in his lap. He hadn’t let her go since the moment she’d arrived into this body. He needed to feel her warm in his arms. “You’d seen the whole thing from the doorway. I hadn’t seen you there last time.” His face twisted into a pained expression. “The look on your face, Sweetness,” his voice broke. “God, Kayla, I hurt you so bad. I hurt you so bad, baby.”
“Shh.”
“I’m sorry, Kayla,” he tried but failed not to cry again.
“We already did this, you don’t have to keep saying you’re sorry, I know you are, and I forgive you,” she implored him. She could feel how crushed he was. “Already forgave you! Stop beating yourself up. Please, Steve.”
“You didn’t see your face! You didn’t see—“
“Steve, I think I know how I felt, I was living it.”
“Well, I didn’t. I didn’t get to see any of that. ‘Til now. I almost can’t face you.”
Kayla took his face in her hands and forced him to look right at her. “Silly man,” she said. She kissed where his scar used to be and noticed how red his cheek was, then asked with dawning concern. “Did you … have an argument … with the other me?”
Steve let out an anxious laugh. “’The other me.’ That sure does explain it. Yeah, you could say that.” Steve then just let it all out, the whole play-by-play. He told her the whole thing from Marina trying to kiss him to finally managing to make her 1989 self see the truth before pouring his heart out with apologies.
Kayla heard every word he said, but her eye kept going to the left side of his face; it was inflamed. She reached up and caressed it very gently with her fingertips. “I slapped you, didn’t I?” Steve didn’t say anything. “I can see that I did.” Steve didn’t want to confirm her statement because he’d put her through enough. Yet, here she was, once again, forgiving him and feeling bad for her own actions when it was him that had done wrong.
“Sweetness … that slap didn’t hurt me, it was why you slapped me that tore me up inside.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Kayla.”
Kayla took a deep breath and put her finger to his lips. “I can’t tell you how I would have reacted if Italy went differently, like the way you’re describing.”
“Well, I think I can,” Steve chuckled.
“But try to remember that I was feeling like our marriage was over. Like you really did love her more than me, after all. I don’t think my emotional state was that stable. But it’s no excuse for not telling you about Stephanie.”
“Well, now you did.”
Kayla was tiring and shifted position a bit. “Aren’t your arms tired, why don’t I move –”
“No,” he brought her in for another kiss. “I want to keep holding you if that’s ok.” Kayla nodded and felt his powerful body hold her possessively and loved it.
Steve finished telling her the rest and then swallowed his fear for the final part of this. “Kayla I kissed her. You. I …” He let out a ragged breath, and Kayla could feel his heart beat fast. “I just couldn’t help it, baby. After this whole situation and that you forgave me and told me about Stephanie I had such a … I was so emotional. Inside. I had to let it out. I had to kiss you. To show you how I felt. I … I feel like that was maybe wrong.”
Kayla cocked her head and smiled. “I’ve never actually thought about it,” she said. But I don’t know how I could really get mad, I mean it is me.”
Steve looked up thoughtfully. “Is it? I don’t know.”
“Steve, it’s ok,” she said again, thinking it through,” it’s me. That girl you jump to is still me. It’s not like some alternate reality where we were never together, I mean … she is me.
“Ok,” he relented. Then he looked into her eyes and very quietly said, “I’m sorry, Sweetness. I’m so sorry.” Kayla let him apologize again. “For everything I did wrong during this time in our lives.” This time he was apologizing to her as they were now, in 2009.
“I’m sorry, too,” now she was the one who was crying. “For not telling you about the baby right away. As soon as I found out. The first chance I had. And all those chances after that that I didn’t. I’m sorry, too, Steve.”
Steve ran his thumb over her bottom lip. She still looked so worn down. Drawn. This body needed rest desperately.
“Do you forgive me, too?” she asked.
Steve nodded. “Yeah,” he smiled. “I love you.” Then he saw her wedding ring glinting on her finger and felt a peace wash through him. He took her hand and put it against his heart. “Love you,” he repeated.
“We love each other,” she replied gently. “This is over now. It’s just you and me.” Steve nodded and held her against him.
An hour later Kayla lay sleeping in the bed in her underwear and bra with her little baby bump protruding just below her navel. Steve sat at the small table and thought about where they needed to go from here, who was where and what the timing was. Victor Kiriakis had threatened Kayla if he didn’t find that key, and the man had proven to be good on his word. But it was going to be months before that actually happened. There was nothing really stopping him from leaving without diving into the bay and getting the thing. Only Marina and her manipulations. So, no, then, no reason not to go home right away. Kayla stirred, and Steve watched as she rolled over onto her side. She really had been exhausted. It was another example of a consciousness that was wide awake or healthy or otherwise normal being affected by the condition of the body they were now inhabiting. And this body was spent. The dark circles under her eyes concerned Steve. He hadn’t seen those the first time, because it had been days later that he’d seen her in the hospital back in Salem. He was struck by the reality of what his actions had done to her and tried to remember that they were past this now in 2009 and that he had to just figure a way out of this jump. He climbed into bed with her and fell asleep with his hand on Kayla’s belly.
At 2am Steve was awakened by a knock at the door. Kayla’s eyes flew open, and she was panicked for a moment, completely disoriented. “Baby, you’re ok! It’s ok.”
“Steve!” It all came back to her. “Sorry.” The knock sounded again. “Do you think it’s Marina?” she asked.
“No, I don’t think so.” He said. Sure enough when he opened the door Jack was standing there looking sheepish and completely uncomfortable.
“Hey Jackson,” Steve said, keeping him on that side of the door. She was completely out of his eyeshot, but Kayla pulled up the covers anyway and called to Steve in warning. She didn’t want him in that room.
Jack looked down, knowing she probably wasn’t dressed. “I’m sorry, I’m not asking to come in. I’m just, well, I don’t know what you want me to do with Marina. She’s not going to hold in there much longer. I waited as long as I could, Steve. I … I …”
“You got a plane here, don’t you?”
“Yes. You – you want me to take you home? I can do that!”
“Yeah, we need to get out of here.”
“Wait, you found the key?”
“No, it’s still down there in the bottom of the bay. I’m not going through that again, let her hire someone. You wanna know the secret, I’ll tell you, Isabella is Victor’s daughter. There, secret’s out, no need for the key. Now that you know, I need you to get us out of here.”
Jack stood there with his mouth hanging open. “Victor is whose father?”
“Steve, let him in.” He turned around to see that Kayla had dressed. “I think you should get out of the hallway.” Steve pulled Jack in and closed the door.
“Listen, Jack, don’t ask any questions. Just trust me.”
“I do, Steve, I do trust you!” Jack said with the strangest look on his face that Steve couldn’t really identify. It was almost like pride. Strangely enthusiastic pride.
“Can ya gas that sucker up and get us out of here? Tonight? Because if I have to keep up this bullshit with the key it’s not going to end well for this pretty face of mine.”
“Steve, are you forgetting something?” Kayla asked. “None of this is going to matter when we jump.” Kayla saw the way Jack was paying very good attention and knowing that he was missing something in this conversation, but she didn’t care. “Is there really a point? These changes are not going to stick for us.”
“No! Kayla I just fixed it … this one is gonna stick!”
“Steve.” She tipped her head a bit and gently took his hand. “None of it sticks.”
“How do you know that? How do you know that maybe putting it right really is the answer, and now we just keep livin’?”
“Without Joey?” she asked softly.
“Ok, first whosewhatsits, and now this Joey guy. Who’s Joey?” Jack piped in.
“Well, BillyJack,” Steve replied while still looking at Kayla. “He’s gonna be your nephew in about 20 years.”
Jack took a moment then said, “Huh?”
“Sweetness, I don’t care if it’s gonna stick or not, I just don’t want to have to be here another minute. We know how to get around all this now, so let’s just go home. Because the one thing I’m not doing, and I mean I’m not doing it, Kayla, is letting that woman near us ever again. I don’t want her next door to us, let’s just go home. You can take us home, right, Jack? Tonight?”
“This morning, you mean.”
“Whatever.”
“Yeah, we can leave anytime you want, but what’s all this ‘again’ stuff and mumbo jumbo you’re talking about?”
“Nothing gets by him, Sweetness.”
“I was wondering what you were thinking,” Kayla answered with a roll of her eyes.
“I can’t let her near us, baby.”
“Ok, then let’s go home. I do want to get out of here, so you don’t have to convince me. I just want you to not try so hard.” Then she whispered, “We know what’s going to happen, so we know what to do now. We’ll be ok.”
“Don’t worry about the mumbo jumbo, Jack. It’s like secret married talk.”
Jack was not convinced and Steve knew it, but he was so happy to be able to help them he didn’t care. “Ok, so what’s the plan?” he asked his brother.
“How fast can you arrange for the plane?”
“They’re on standby, I’ll arrange for it right now.”
“Have you slept, Jack?” Kayla interjected.
Jack softened when he looked at her, and her heart reached out to him a bit. She knew he was trying so hard here to be a better person. In a year or so he’d be apologizing to her in the garden of Lawrence Alamain’s estate. She’d never forget that day for as long as she lived, nor would she forget the day he raped her. It lived on in her, the pain diminishing every year more and more but never having entirely disappeared. Jack was a changed man now, and she forgave him … mostly. And here she saw the beginnings of his hard-fought road to redemption. He was touched that she asked, she could see that.
“Have you?”
“Oh, you know me,” he said awkwardly. “Reporters don’t have time for such things as sleep. Especially when the flight will be long enough for me to get plenty of shuteye if we’re really going to be taking off when Steve here says we are?”
“We are. Get her ready, we’ll meet you at the airfield in an hour.
Jack disappeared to get the plane ready and, Steve assumed, free Marina. As soon as the door was closed behind him Steve got his bag out and threw his clothes into it. Kayla got his toiletries from the bathroom and dumped them in there. As Steve zipped his bag Kayla let out a nervous laugh.
“What?” Steve asked.
“We just had a lazy day at home at the loft. I mean it was just two days ago. And now we’re here in Italy on the run again.”
“I know, I want to go home, too.”
“Do you think we’ll ever see it again? We just keep jumping from one part of our lives to another to the next. I don’t think it was to fix anything, because we’ve jumped places that needed no fixing. So, that’s not it. I just know in my bones we’re going to jump again.”
Steve knew it, too.
“It’s all so pointless. I just want this to end,” she said sadly.
Steve got back down on his knees and lifted Kayla’s white shirt and lowered her waistband to reveal his growing baby. He rubbed his hands lovingly over the small bump, kissed it, then spoke right to her belly like the baby was all ears. “Papa’s going to be going soon.” Kayla wrapped her fingers gently in his hair. “I don’t know when, but I want you to know how much I love you. Your mama and me love you more than anything, and whatever happens after we go, you just know that we’re going to be so proud of you. We’re going to love you so much, just like we do now. It’s not that we don’t want to stay here with you and be with you. We can’t help it. But we love you, ok, Little Sweetness?” Steve kissed Kayla’s belly again as a tear fell from her eye into Steve’s hair.
Steve stood back up, and Kayla threw her arms around him as she layed her head on his chest. He kissed his wife tenderly. Their kisses were soft and gentle and so comforting. He didn’t want to stop kissing her, he wanted to stand there in that room and kiss her forever. But his need to get out before he had to ever look that woman in the eyes again drove him. Just a few more kisses first …
It was then that the strong and jarring feeling came over him that he’d felt so many times before that he’d lost count. He didn’t know if he felt relief or anger. Maybe it was both. What he did know was that he was going to be jumping first again, because Kayla wasn’t the least bit rigid. Kayla sensed a change in him, however, and opened her eyes then pulled back. She knew as soon as she looked into his eyes. Two eyes.
“I’m sorry, baby. Time for me to go,” he said softly as the room had just started it’s slow spin.
Kayla nodded sadly. “I’ll be right behind you.”
“I’m never going to hurt you again, Kayla. Never.” She ran her thumb over his left cheek where his scar used to be. “Kiss me,” Steve said.
She did. Then Kayla literally felt him leave his body as the jump took him. Kayla released his lips, closed her eyes, and waited the ten seconds it would take to follow, just like every other jump since Cleveland. Then with her last thoughts being on her baby girl growing inside of her with her hand protectively covering her belly, she jumped, too.